Yay!Originally Posted by Maximilianus
In my humble opinion, this version sounds more elaborated, hence more poetic. I think so
Thank you.
Aw, I thank you so much!I like the way you have used some words repeatedly. They sound good to ear. The title reflects the theme of hopeless surrender quite well. Keep writing.
Best wishes.
Find your dream and stick with it...or your life will have slipped past in a whisper with you still on the bottom.
SHOULD I WORRY?
Lost in thought
Not for naught,
He's on my mind
Is his love out of line?
Are his actions worthy?
Should I worry?
Flattered I am,
A respectable man.
Am I wrong for wond'rin
whether he's full of sin?
Or if his words are worthy,
And It's wrong that I worry
Sounds as nice as can be
Sad am I, he comforts me.
when anger rages,
the emotion, he purges.
Am I wrong to worry,
Are his words worthy?
A chance should be given,
for his feelings to be proven
I'm afraid it'll go wrong
and I was right all along.
Should I worry?
Is he worthy?
Find your dream and stick with it...or your life will have slipped past in a whisper with you still on the bottom.
No dear, not at all. But frankly speaking you can't help it. The more we are uncertain about something the more we worry, moving like a pendulum between happy and horrible thoughts.
Give him a chance to prove. He must have some special quality which attracted you. Just wait to discover more. Anyway, lucky guy.Is he worthy?
A nice little jot on the whole.
I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's. ~ William Blake
Captivity is consciousness,
So's liberty. ~ Emily Dickinson
Thank you for the comment and advice.No dear, not at all. But frankly speaking you can't help it. The more we are uncertain about something the more we worry, moving like a pendulum between happy and horrible thoughts.
Give him a chance to prove. He must have some special quality which attracted you. Just wait to discover more. Anyway, lucky guy.
A nice little jot on the whole.
And yes, he is special.
Find your dream and stick with it...or your life will have slipped past in a whisper with you still on the bottom.
We never finish to know anyone, since everyone has some surprise under the sleeve that makes us start the assessment all over again. Like Forrest Gump stated, "life is a box of chocolate. You never know what you're gonna get".
Last edited by Maximilianus; 10-31-2010 at 01:13 PM. Reason: typo
I needn't say it's yet another beautiful piece of writing, right?
You don't have to, but it's always good to hear.I needn't say it's yet another beautiful piece of writing, right?
Find your dream and stick with it...or your life will have slipped past in a whisper with you still on the bottom.
In that case I'll just say it. It's yet another beautiful piece of writing
Thank you! I never get tired of hearing that.
Find your dream and stick with it...or your life will have slipped past in a whisper with you still on the bottom.
Ahem... I noticed
Find your dream and stick with it...or your life will have slipped past in a whisper with you still on the bottom.
I look around lately, at all that happens around me, and even myself, and I realized a few things. I came up with this poem, but I can't seem to name it.
It never ceases to amaze me,
The fragility,
Of friends connecting
And love collecting
It never fails to amaze me,
The strong bond breaking,
Best friends parting,
The meaning leaving,
And yet we don't stop,
We grasp a lot,
Our feeling, not for naught,
As we look for what sought.
Companionship,
Kinship,
Friendship,
Fellowship
And understanding of ourselves.
Last edited by Beautifull; 11-22-2010 at 12:10 AM.
You may consider to name it "I'm so amazed because I look around excessively."
Hehe. Kinda long...how does "Trying to Understand" sound? Does it match the poem?
Find your dream and stick with it...or your life will have slipped past in a whisper with you still on the bottom.
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