Revenge (edited version)

[darkprince]

You think you are free?
You think you are safe from me?
My blood still warm on your fingers,
no scent can diminish the stink of your sin.

I saw you as my sibling,
always by your side.
My wealth or my life,
what made you jealous?
Why you did so?

I lost my chance,
my only chance,
a life with my girl,
all wishes now gone.

My body is dead,
decaying and drying,
now a part of the earth.
I'm now a ghost,
you will suffer with misery,
your eyes blind with pain!

I'm coming,
your days will never be sunny,
no deity to save your soul,
you will taste my revenge.

[PrinceMyshkin]

It's much improved over the version I saw before: more control, more concern for the poetic flow.

[darkprince]

@PrinceMyshkin : hey , thnx 4 the review :-) ...u guys r gud teachers, glad i found ths forum ...

[darkprince]

"Those frauds!"
My strength was failing,
losses piling up.
My friends' true colours,
a smile of hatred on my lips.
Fate had made me a pauper !

I then turned to God,
blew the dust off the holy book,
alarmed my wife,
prayed till dawn.

The Lord too left me,
he answers only the rich,
a thought for the man in tears !

A channel on T.V
caught my eye,
spoke of revival from failure and frown,
a ray of hope filled my mind.

Amulets and chains I bought,
felt a comfort from deep inside,
happiness once more in my life,
my home became a paradise.

On a day like any other,
a news caught my eye,
my eye brows jumped with shock.
The divine crap makers, now handcuffed,
all set to be jailed !

I began to wonder,
saved I was, but how?
Those stones and strings ?
And then it clicked,
my belief the saviour,
what mattered was how I thought.

They were cheaters, I agree.
Grateful I am,
I'm not lame anymore.
I wish to see them,
a few words : "Thank you my dear frauds !"