Lyttle Housbonde

[Delta40]

He saugh a faire wyf
She maken heed an stryf
Yet in his wayk need
He wedde the wlatsom beautee

As he smerte hir delyt
She withseyed hym his myght
He kan not whence she coom
Wan she freeten his kyn hoom.

or

He saw a pretty wife
She caused him trouble and strife
Yet in his weak need
He married the loathsome beauty

As he suffered her pleasure
She denied him his power
He knew not where she came
When she devoured his family home


NB: it is a challenge to compose the same poem and have them both rhyme!

[Delta40]

bumping this oldie for review.

[Jerrybaldy]

Hi Delta
would have found the first inpenetrable without the second. I dont suppose you could have made the second one rhyme without changing way too much of the content. Or could you..... ?

[Delta40]

It was a phase I went through - Chaucery

[Hawkman]

Hi Delta, I always enjoy a little nod to old or middle English. I do wonder why you chose to change whence to where in the translation of S2 though, as whence is perfectly understandable and even, dare I say it, more grammatically correct in context.

Best, H

[PrinceMyshkin]

He saugh a faire wyf
She maken heed an stryf
Yet in his wayk need
He wedde the wlatsom beautee

As he smerte hir delyt
She withseyed hym his myght
He kan not whence she coom
Wan she freeten his kyn hoom.

or

He saw a pretty wife
She caused him trouble and strife
Yet in his weak need
He married the loathsome beauty

As he suffered her pleasure
She denied him his power
He knew not where she came
When she devoured his family home


NB: it is a challenge to compose the same poem and have them both rhyme!

It is a challenge indeed, but you managed both parts beautifully! I do agree with Hawkman that "where" should be whence. What fun I imagine you had. Thanks.

[Delta40]

He saugh a faire wyf
She maken heed an stryf
Yet in his wayk need
He wedde the wlatsom beautee

As he smerte hir delyt
She withseyed hym his myght
He kan not whence she coom
Wan she freeten his kyn hoom.

or

He saw a pretty wife
She caused him trouble and strife
Yet in his weak need
He married the loathsome beauty

As he suffered her pleasure
She denied him his power
He knew not whence she came
When she devoured his family home

whence, where potato, tomato! but I will be guided by the experts

[hillwalker]

I struggled with Chaucer in school but must admit I found this entirely palatable - to read and indeed understand.

It is very challenging to write in such a fashion but you've made it seem so unforced.

H

[JuniperWoolf]

I think it's cool. It reminds me of when my highschool class was going through trying to interpret old-English Beowulf.

[AuntShecky]

Good for you to take on a challenge! Even though some of us (yours fooly, Hawkman, etc.) often urge folks to "use contemporary language," we both greatly enjoy the results when the poet uses older forms of expression in a parody, of which this is a worthwhile example.

Another thing which I for one enjoy about your work is your irrepressible sense of humor. All too often we somehow think verse has to be ponderous and deadly serious, but postings by Delta40 really help to change that notion for the better.

The third thing I admire about your work is your topic choice, which so refreshingly strays off the proverbial beaten path. You've introduced traditions and customs I formerly did not know about, as in your piece, "Brian the Conker." I hope you remember who it was who chose that one to post in "Your Favorite Poems by Lit-Netters."

The only thing I'd suggest (for now) is that when you want to post more than one poem on a given day to post them all in one single thread.

Here's the official rule:

http://www.online-literature.com/for...110#post959110

[Delta40]

sorry Aunty, I bumped an this one to the top and posted another. I will keep it in mind. Thanks for your kind comments everyone

[Scheherazade]

sorry Aunty, I bumped an this one to the top and posted another. I will keep it in mind. Thanks for your kind comments everyone

I think sometimes the confusion is arising from the fact that we all live in different time zones. What might seem like posted on the same day in the USA might be posted on two different days, say in the UK or Australia.

[Delta40]

Things like that often happen in Oz!

[PrinceMyshkin]

I think sometimes the confusion is arising from the fact that we all live in different time zones. What might seem like posted on the same day in the USA might be posted on two different days, say in the UK or Australia.

That was especially so in the days of the Concorde, when your really intrepid traveler could post something from the UK then jet to Australia to put up another post!

[Haunted]

I got the flavor of the Old English version but the "translation" surely helps in appreciating it more. I applaud you for using Chauser English for a timeless theme, it's a recurring mistake made throughout the centuries, and one always succumbs to sensual pleasures over their better judgements.

I spotted both audible and visual rhymes in the second piece — wife / strife; came / home — one in the beginning, the other at the end, tightly bundling the poem.