Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Beech Tree

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    6,161
    Blog Entries
    8

    Beech Tree

    I saw him fall, the giant on the hill.
    Two hundred summers he had stood,
    one legged, upon the spot, though arms,
    he had a score;
    reaching out, as if to cradle life,
    or touch his fellows standing
    by his side.
    His presence felt eternal.

    In his place beside the path
    he had grown tall,
    survived the trials and tribulations
    of the young.
    In his time he built long friendships
    with companion trees
    and learned to tolerate
    impertinent attentions
    from the lesser things
    that used him for their home.
    They lived out brief but poignant
    histories of their own.

    This spring, he still stood tall and proud.
    The winter gales could not move him
    but the waking sun incited sap to flow
    from root to crown and put forth leaf
    that was to be his shroud.
    A shower of rain, the last that he would feel,
    soaked earth and leaf,
    the soil loose about his feet,
    with extra weight above,
    his footing lost, he fell.
    I heard his last despairing moan,
    A ghastly sound,
    as with awful dignity
    he described one final arc
    and measured out his length
    upon the ground.

  2. #2
    on the run lallison's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    430
    Blog Entries
    1
    Great depiction of how we become attached to trees. By the end, I could feel a deep sorrow upon seeing it fall. Outstanding use of sound devices.

    This spring, he still stood tall and proud. ing-ood-oud-with rolling -llls
    The winter gales could not move him oh ail the Os and oves
    but the waking sun incited sap to flow ite ap oh-trickles out like a brook

    It's the assonance you have here, and with a talented ear. Your vowels roll throughout like curves of muliebrity.

    as with awful dignity
    he described one final arc
    and measured out his length
    upon the ground.
    conjures the image with an architects precision and with a lovers sorrow. Very well done, and I'm not just saying that.
    lal

  3. #3
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Sheffield, South Yorks, England. Tha knows.
    Posts
    4,831
    Blog Entries
    7
    Hawk, you are one of the very few people that could pull such tragedy from a common occurence. By the end, you really feel attached to the tree, and feel the sorrow of it's demise. I really enjoyed that, in a sad kind of way. Thanks very much
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

  4. #4
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Montreal, QC
    Posts
    8,746
    Blog Entries
    1
    and measured out his length
    upon the ground.


    Masterful, compassionate and so closely observed!

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    6,161
    Blog Entries
    8
    Hi lall, and thanks very much. I spent a fair amount of time in and around those woods. The sound it made when it fell was truely awful. I'm particularly pleased that you enjoyed the sonds of the poem. But I must thank you too. "Muliebrity" Now that's a great word which I will remember. Deserves it's own spot in the one word poem strand, methinks.

    Hi Dafydd, It may be a common occurrance, but one that is seldom seen I think. After a gale we may venture out and curse because a tree has fallen accross the road, but to witness a tall and apparently healthy tree fall, especially with the nioise it makes is actually quite shocking, well I thought so anyway

    Thanks Prince, glad you think so.

    Thank you all again for reading and commenting.

    Via con Dios, H

  6. #6
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Sheffield, South Yorks, England. Tha knows.
    Posts
    4,831
    Blog Entries
    7
    I've felled a few, and it a truly awful sound. I had to give it up - I felt guilty!
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    6,161
    Blog Entries
    8
    So you were a lumberjack but not ok
    Did you sleep all night and work all day?
    Did you cut down trees and eat your lunch
    and go to the lavatory,
    and on Wednesdays did you go shopping
    and have buttered scones for tea?

    I shall not ask about the women's clothing...

    H

  8. #8
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Sheffield, South Yorks, England. Tha knows.
    Posts
    4,831
    Blog Entries
    7
    I wish I was a girlie, just like my dear Papa. No I was a Woodsmans Assistant, which meant that we didn't have The Rules (No P*******s), and we didn't drink Tubes of Cool. It was whilst I was still at school. (Quite a while ago, then!)
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

    My Work Has Been Spread Over Many Fields!

  9. #9
    Registered User Delta40's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Fremantle Western Australia
    Posts
    9,903
    Blog Entries
    62
    omg. My heart is so heavy for this gracious tree which you have paid homage to with such eloquence.
    Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised - American Proverb

  10. #10
    Dream its own existence Jesterhead's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Denmark
    Posts
    283
    This is very descriptive well written poetry about a falling tree, I enjoyed it.
    I am swimming through the ashes of the bridges I have burned.

  11. #11
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    6,161
    Blog Entries
    8
    Hi Delta,

    It lay were it fell for a good few months before it was eventually chopped up and carted away, a process which, itself, took a couple of weeks. Dobtless, in time, its place will be taken by an equally grand inhabitant. Only 70 or 80 years to wait. Thanks for your reading and your comment.

    Jesterhead, Thank you, glad to give you a worthwile read.

    Live long and prosper. H

    PS, I neglected to mention that I was quite releived not to have been underneath it when it fell.
    Last edited by Hawkman; 09-02-2010 at 02:04 PM.

  12. #12
    Employee of the Month blank|verse's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    1,194
    Wonderful, Hawk.

    Great images; I really enjoyed the 'one legged' tree. So simple, but brilliantly effective.

    A lot of the poem seems (naturally?) to lean towards blank verse, eg. (with a bit of rearranging of the furniture - the x marking a missing beat):
    I saw him fall, the giant on the hill.
    Two hundred summers he had stood, one legged,
    upon the spot, though arms, he had a score;
    [x] reaching out, as if to cradle life,
    or touch his fellows standing by his side.
    There is a certain dignity that goes with blank verse that seems to lend itself very well to the poem.

    I felt there were a few cliches, which the poem could do without: 'trials and tribulations', 'tall and proud'. And perhaps would have liked more of the sound of the tree falling, rather than being told it was 'a ghastly sound'; but as others have commented, it's a great ending. A nice tribute.

  13. #13
    It wasn't me Jerrybaldy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    3,648
    Blog Entries
    1
    very enjoyable Hawk. 'tis funny our attachment to trees. Is it their age, their grace, their size? This poem would not work on the cutting of a lettuce. Yet, its no different outside of our eyes. You have gone and got me thinking, damn you, I was determined not to, today
    cheers Hawk

    For those who believe,
    no explanation is necessary.
    For those who do not,
    none will suffice.

  14. #14
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    6,053
    A noble eulogy, Hawk. Living right on the edge of a native Scots pine woodland I know how one becomes attached to the trees, watches their moods and suffers with them when one is taken out by a storm.

  15. #15
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    6,161
    Blog Entries
    8
    B/V Many thanks for your analysis. There are a couple of things which I wasn't quite happy with in this poem and you have brought them into sharp focus for me. When I have time I will give this one a little polish and post a revision.

    JB Thanks, I'm glad you like it. For me it is size and age with trees, and of course, the gaps they leave in the landscape when they fall, which take so long to replace. I will not live to see the restoration of the skyline on this hillside. Always happy to give people something to think about, whether they want it or not

    Thanks hill, I wonder what the ancient caledonian forest looked like. I have seen the ancient stumps, pleached like bone, protruding from the peat beneath the heather, high above culloden. They make the spine tingle at the though of their age. I'd love to see a bristlecone pine. But I've met a yew or two, whose age staggers at around 1200 years. Anything which lives that long is worthy of respect.

    Thank you all for reading and your comments.

    Live and be well, H

Similar Threads

  1. Under the Dogwood Tree
    By Dark Muse in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 04-21-2010, 08:51 AM
  2. The Firm Trunk of the Ombu Tree
    By OctopusGarden in forum Short Story Sharing
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-17-2010, 04:19 PM
  3. The Skeletal Tree
    By miyako73 in forum Short Story Sharing
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-27-2009, 01:29 AM
  4. Quietus by ScarlettEclipse
    By ScarlettEclipse in forum Personal Poetry
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 05-29-2008, 09:22 AM
  5. under the tree
    By dreamsbegone in forum General Writing
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-20-2006, 07:52 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •