A Friend So Dear

[Carmella]

A Friend So Dear

Betwixt here and a far off place,
I have a friend so dear.
If I could once but see that face
Or sometime, be as near.
T’would not be such a fall from grace,
To bring my friend some cheer,
As this would help to fill a space,
And thus relieve some fear.
My friend doth live a gentle pace,
And life has shifted gear.
With fortitude, no urge to race,
Contentment will appear.
Bad memories leave, oh! but a trace,
And thinking shall be clear.
You’ll find yourself a proper base,
To live from year to year

[b]

Well, Carmella

This is a really nice poem: you're one of the few people here that uses (almost) consistant metre and music in her / his posted poems.

However: there is one line that does not fit in the metre and destroys the flow of the poem:

Bad memories leave, oh! but a trace,

[Carmella]

Hi there,
I agree with you and when I wrote this, was not at all sure whether to kee the 'oh' in there, it seems to flow better without.

I'm up for suggestions however.

[Ickmeister]

What? Did you just write the poem, for the sake of writing a poem?

[Dyrwen]

That was quite good, the line supposedly throwing off the metre seems to work just fine.

I like it..

[Carmella]

In answer to Ickemeister

No, I didn't just write it for the sake of just writing a poem.

I do this frequently. I wrote it because I wanted to write a poem specifically about words as in reading a book or a piece of poetry, the written word prevails (the weak word perishes et al)

[Ickmeister]

ok.