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Thread: Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

  1. #436
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    A man who is hated by civilians when nobody is making threats, real or imagined, but loved by the populace when there is a threat. That is, until somebody has to foot the bill. See "Tommy Atkins"

    fodder
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

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  2. #437
    www.markbastable.co.uk
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    fodder: more fod




    twins

  3. #438
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    Twins. A reason to buy more aspirin/paracetemol/co-codamol/ibuprofen. A fiendish plot by the drugs industry.

    robot
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

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  4. #439
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    robot Mechanical replacement for honest, hard-working people in the auto industry

    Unemployment
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  5. #440
    www.markbastable.co.uk
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pendragon View Post
    robot Mechanical replacement for honest, hard-working people in the auto industry
    To be fair to robots, they're completely unjudgemental. They'll happily replace dishonest, lazy people too.

  6. #441
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    Unemployment. That which is brought about by the advent of the robot

    Tattoo
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

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  7. #442
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Tattoo Fashion statements that though considered cool while we're young become a downright embarrassment when we grow old and wrinkled

    Hospital
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  8. #443
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarkBastable View Post
    To be fair to robots, they're completely unjudgemental. They'll happily replace dishonest, lazy people too.
    Touche!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  9. #444
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    A place for alcoholics to go when the last toast of "Your Health!" back-fired!

    time-piece
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

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  10. #445
    www.markbastable.co.uk
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    time-piece : collective name for divisions of time - for instance, minute, second, year. These are known as 'standard time-pieces'. There is second category comprised of time-pieces that are as widely understood but less easily standardised. These are known as 'universal subjective time-pieces' - and they include:

    • the eternity of doomed hope between dropping the ketchup bottle and it hitting the quarry-tiled kitchen floor
    • the instantaneously disappeared hours between meeting your girlfriend at the station Friday night and her having to be back at her mother's for Sunday lunch
    • the double perspective span that is your life, which looks like forever ahead of you on the first morning your dad drops you off at the primary school gates; but which appears to be no more than a fortnight behind you when you pass the school in the Chief Mourners' car on the way to your father's funeral



    cactus
    Last edited by MarkBastable; 08-08-2010 at 12:50 PM.

  11. #446
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    Cactus: Role model for English teachers. Just not quite so dry as many.


    brochure
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

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  12. #447
    Beyond the world aliengirl's Avatar
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    brochure :- Colorful and attractive manuals to misguide you

    cars
    I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's. ~ William Blake

    Captivity is consciousness,
    So's liberty. ~ Emily Dickinson

  13. #448
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    cars Invention of the Devil in an effort to make all people lazy and fat, since they aren't getting any exercise walking

    Trouble
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  14. #449
    www.markbastable.co.uk
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    Trouble: As this is a dictionary, and as you're here, dear reader, it's safe to assume you're looking for trouble - and you've come to the right place. If, indeed, you're looking for trouble, the best idea would probably be to look right in my typeface. It's widely accepted that trouble was born standing up and talking back. It is also thought that trouble's father was a green-eyed mountain jack. That's as may be - but what we can say for certain is that trouble is evil, and that its middle name is misery. Actually, it's difficult to overstress that point. It's evil, and on the whole you might want to avoid messing around with me. Er, with it, that is. Sorry. Carry on.


    Crossword puzzle

  15. #450
    dafydd dafydd manton's Avatar
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    Ena Clout. 3-1-4. (anag)

    Worm-drive
    Dafydd Manton, A Legend In His Own Lunchtime!! www.dafydd-manton.co.uk

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