Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[dafydd manton]

Gad, Sir. You feed your slugs on brandy? A decent Asbach, one trusts!

[Paulclem]

Paul you are a saint. I just can't stand it. Its the hours and hours wasted that gets me. If you need a pair of socks, why not just go into a shop and buy some? My Mrs P goes into several, and then returns to the first one and then buys some- why? Those slug pellets, we were half an hour choosing them, do the slugs care wether they are organic or not?. (She used to use some of my Newkie Brown to drown them in - they were getting more than I do) Anyway rant over, A large brandy please, Parker.

I know. It's a rant I've ranted, but now I've relented. No more war so no more losing.

[The Atheist]

Never mind the brandy, how about some of this stuff?

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/fo...strongest-beer

[papayahed]

Never mind the brandy, how about some of this stuff?

http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/fo...strongest-beer

Only 12 bottles were made, each housed inside a stuffed dead animal and sold starting at 500 pounds ($NZ1086) each.

Can I pick my dead animal?

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

...do the slugs care wether they are organic or not?. (She used to use some of my Newkie Brown to drown them in - they were getting more than I do) Anyway rant over, A large brandy please, Parker.

Gad, Sir. You feed your slugs on brandy? A decent Asbach, one trusts!

Never mind the brandy, how about some of this stuff?

You may joke about this technique, but my now sainted mother swore by the slug beer drwoning method. I remember as a young lad, seeing shallow pans placed in the garden with dozens of sloshed slugs laying about in each one.
She would knock down the first five then save the sixth for the slug traps.

The fumes alone wafting off that Dutch concoction would eradicate the slugs.

[The Atheist]

Can I pick my dead animal?

Sure, the elephant's gone.

You may joke about this technique, but my now sainted mother swore by the slug beer drwoning method.

I might give that a try, we have the slugs from hell around here.

One night in summer, we were outside and I went to pick up what I'd assumed was a small branch that had dropped at the side of the pool. I was astonished to see the damned thing moving as I approached. Jesus, the thing was bigger than some snakes! 8 inches long and half an inch across, it was bigger than....... [/edited for content!]

I spread slug poison around and they just eat it and carry on - might be why they're so bloody big! Goddam mutant slugs.

UGHHHH!

[prendrelemick]

The beer method works fine. The trouble is they seem to like the good stuff the best, cheap lager just won't do it - hence the commandeering of my personal supplies.


All you do, is push a dish into the soil so that its rim is level with the surface. Then devise a cover above it that slugs can squeeze under, we used a flat stone supported on smaller stones. We found the slugs round here liked Guinness the best.

On the first night we caught 124 slugs in three dishes- a record that stands to this day.

[dafydd manton]

Just the thought of 124 slugs is pretty nauseating, but (and I'm not joking here), how do you dispose of them? Surely you can't put 'em in the bin? Presumably bury them.

[prendrelemick]

They are absolutley disgusting. When they drown in beer all their slime seems to ooze out of them, and become covered in a yeasty growth (from the beer I suppose.) Ours went on the compost heap.

[dafydd manton]

Bleurghh! Fortunately Her Indoors does all the gardening, so not really my problem. The only thing she'll let me do is cut the lawn, and sadly I get hay-fever, so that's out.

[prendrelemick]

Can I pick my dead animal?

I wonder about the orientation of the bottle within - which end do you pour from.

[prendrelemick]

Bleurghh! Fortunately Her Indoors does all the gardening, so not really my problem. The only thing she'll let me do is cut the lawn, and sadly I get hay-fever, so that's out.

So, her indoors does the outdoors eh.

[dafydd manton]

At the moment, yes, but if she knew I was contemplating a deceased Dingo full of alcohol (provided that I can pour from that end which is capable of facial expressions) she'd have me out there with a spade in my hand before you can say "Care for the other half?"

[The Atheist]

On the first night we caught 124 slugs in three dishes- a record that stands to this day.

Nah. I'd be too scared to get 'em drunk.

Just the thought of 124 slugs is pretty nauseating, but (and I'm not joking here), how do you dispose of them? Surely you can't put 'em in the bin? Presumably bury them.

I'm with you on the nauseating bit. We once had an enormous one sneak into our house. It was honestly one of those "What the bloody hell is that?" moments.

I was sitting on the bog and something caught my eye up on the ceiling near the fan. I pulled it off the ceiling, where it left a huge reddish stain and honestly, the thing was wriggling in my hand like a live chipolata!

Unbelievable, the size - and feel - of it. I certainly felt nauseous after that.

Have we got any ads for slug bait yet?

Ours went on the compost heap.

Leave 'em out in the sun, they're gone in no time.


Oh, hang on, you're in England.......

Yep, into the compost!

[dafydd manton]

Not just England - we're both in Yorkshire, sunshine capital of the Western World! And it's a brave man that could pick one of those things up. I didn't mind changing nappies, but I draw the line at that!