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Thread: July 3, 2010 (10:11am)

  1. #1
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    July 3, 2010 (10:11am)



    i

    The clouds overhead were somehow
    unsure of themselves, temporary,
    hardly any cover for the sun.

    While I waited for Andrea
    to return from the drugstore, I kept an eye
    on the half-moon in the morning sky.

    ii

    People have asked me
    why so many of my poems
    end so abruptly
    as if there were something more
    to be said, but when I have spoken
    my inspiration, the last, unspoken line
    is God be with you - good-bye.

  2. #2
    holy fool _Shannon_'s Avatar
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    as if there were something more
    to be said

    I really like that..I think because I feel often when writing myself...and probably because I just talk so freakin' much that it seems like an art to know when to shut the hell up.
    "I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult."
    ~E.B. White

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    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    And God be with you, PrinceMyshkin
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

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    Et cum spritum tue, meus Regulus.

    I am tempted to quote the Nunc Dimitis,

    "Lord now letest thou thy servant depart in peace: according to thy word..."
    Last edited by Hawkman; 07-04-2010 at 07:08 AM.

  5. #5
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkman View Post
    Et cum spritum tue, meus Regulus.
    Ornari res ipsa negat, contenta doceri

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    As you can probably tell, my latin grammar is a bit rusty and I'm having trouble getting the sense of your reply in context. You concluded your poem witht the sentiment , "God be with you..." to which I replied, "and his spirit be with you, my Prince." (as quoted).

    Your reply (as I translate it) 'you deny that you are equiped in the subject or happy to instruct.' Alternatively you are saying, I deny the subject honour myself but am happy to teach. Like I said, My grammar is a bit rusty!

  7. #7
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawkman View Post
    As you can probably tell, my latin grammar is a bit rusty and I'm having trouble getting the sense of your reply in context. You concluded your poem witht the sentiment , "God be with you..." to which I replied, "and his spirit be with you, my Prince." (as quoted).

    Your reply (as I translate it) 'you deny that you are equiped in the subject or happy to instruct.' Alternatively you are saying, I deny the subject honour myself but am happy to teach. Like I said, My grammar is a bit rusty!
    Oh, my dear friend! May God - that same God that you invoked to be with me and whose existence I am sworn to deny - May God forgive me if I have in the least offended you! The Latin bit I sent you was something I came across in an essay I was reading by De Quincy, which means more or less the thing was perfectly content with the didactic style and refused to be embellished with rhetorical devices. I seized on it just to be mischievous! I do apologize.

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    My dear Prince, I'm not offended in the least, merely amazed that so short a phrase can be translated into so long a sentence! I suspect that out of context it doesn't make as much sense as it should I still don't get the relevence to my quote though lol. You know me prince, mischievous is my middle name so never be shy in that respect.

  9. #9
    on the run lallison's Avatar
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    I've been hesitant to comment on this one, as it seemed more like a statement than a poem, and I wanted to wait and see if I could get some more insight from other comments. Well, there have been other comments, but I'm still left to puzzle over this piece myself. Sometimes its best not to "over analyze things." Heard that a few times in my life, actually. I'd say this is a journal entry written in line breaks, capturing a sentimental moment in your life, and sharing a kind thought with the people you care about. We love you too, PM.

  10. #10
    flung (but not far) hack's Avatar
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    I agree that it is a kindness.
    It does not ring hollow, from
    agnostic, nor atheist. It does
    come across as a kind of a dare,
    knowing your feelings, though.
    If one knew nothing about you,
    the poem would be considered
    differently, don't you think?
    "Remember, we are all in this alone." - Lilly Tomlin

  11. #11
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Thank you, Lallison & Hack. And yes, Hack, if my positions weren't so well-known, that "God bless you" would come across quite differently.

  12. #12
    Employee of the Month blank|verse's Avatar
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    I enjoyed the first part of this Prince, as a 'Snapshot' piece, but felt the second part was too self-referential (or maybe reverential?). Still, it's nice to know you listen to your audience!

  13. #13
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blank|verse View Post
    I enjoyed the first part of this Prince, as a 'Snapshot' piece, but felt the second part was too self-referential (or maybe reverential?). Still, it's nice to know you listen to your audience!
    Ouch! The parenthetical part of this is difficult to swallow. I believe the polarities of my character are Superman/shmuck. As much as possible, I try to operate somewhere between those poles, but you may have caught me leaning a bit too far to the left!

  14. #14
    Employee of the Month blank|verse's Avatar
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    A moment of egotistical sublimity perhaps, Prince?! But completely understandable and forgivable.

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    Registered User justice4all's Avatar
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    I like the first part. The ubrupt ending is a perfect little snippet of life. I do not understand the second part. Itis more of an author's note explaining your style. I would leave the first part to stand alone. Your style does not need explanation. Well done.
    Thoughcrime does not entail death: thoughtcrime IS death. - Orwell

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