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Thread: wasted times

  1. #1
    Registered User Sampson's Avatar
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    wasted times

    this beat makes me want to write
    until i'm decribing the sunrise
    which brings light to the dark
    dimention i've inadvertanly ventured into
    too far down blocked roads and my soul is
    as cold as i thought it was before
    folklore called to me and i followed
    haunting voices down corridors of the
    mind until space and time were condensed
    to a single second and the effects of
    the reckless lifstyle and living wild
    on the edge embedded themselves in
    the archives of rhymes i've written
    in times gone by and i'm gonna write
    about something different tonight
    figurative scriptures and lip written
    rhythms to live by instead of the
    high wire which sets synpanses on fire
    with expectant desire and tireless
    consumption... we live by rizla wisdom
    we die by the assumption that getting ****ed up
    is a full time occupation... smiling plastered
    faces decorate memories of hazy dreams
    lived out among the fiends but these scenes
    were only ever wasted times

  2. #2
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    hmmm, this is a gaze into a dark dimension, isn't it (please see a few typos: demention (dimension), fiends (friends), decribing (describing) etc)... but is all of our time really wasted? your poem is as a wave, powerful and kind of final... hope for BETTER TIMES as your next poem! but thank you for this one.

    I liked several lines, also this one: "smiling plastered
    faces decorate memories of hazy dreams",
    except for the word "plastered" which I find superfluous. Maybe only me.
    Be well, best regards - Bar

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