Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[prendrelemick]

I know the one, Our Gracieland Chippy.



(you see what I did there?)

[dafydd manton]

Ee, I'm impressed, lad. That were reight good! Pity there's no way of squeezing in the word "Fields", that'd really pull 'em in.

[prendrelemick]

Never mind the saveloy, I go there because I love me (fish) tender.


Ok I'll stop now.

[dafydd manton]

Sorry, I'm all shook up after the magnitude and brilliance of that one!

[jocky]

Recently I have turned my mind to all things astronomical, so much so that I have converted my attic into an observatory, complete with the Meade ETX-LS 6" telescope.....man, that Heather Macpherson at number 42 sure looks hot in her skimpy white underwear embroidered with tiny red roses. She really needs to close her blinds at night, you never know who could be watching.... I digress, what was I on about, oh yes, Mrs Jocky paid a visit to my newly converted attic and after 5 minutes of silent observation remarked, " In the magnificence and wonderment of our Universe Mars looks comparitively tiny and insignificant. " I thought that was so profound I did not have the heart to tell her she was looking through the wrong end of the telescope.

[prendrelemick]

I see you are an acolyte of that other Eastern deity, Sneaka Luk.

[dafydd manton]

I see you are an acolyte of that other Eastern deity, Sneaka Luk.

!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Atheist]

Recently I have turned my mind to all things astronomical, so much so that I have converted my attic into an observatory, complete with the Meade ETX-LS 6" telescope.....man, that Heather Macpherson at number 42 sure looks hot in her skimpy white underwear embroidered with tiny red roses. She really needs to close her blinds at night, you never know who could be watching....

Haha! If she knows you're living in the same county, I bet she does know who's watching - more care needed there or you'll be trying to do two birds with one stone!

Funny thing about humans: if they live at height, in an apartment block or on a hill, they forget that vision works two ways and that their magnificent view is busy watching them as they look at the view.

Tower crane drivers are aware of this.

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

I see you are an acolyte of that other Eastern deity, Sneaka Luk.

Too funny- You're making my Saturday.
Actually you are causing me to waste my Saturday!

__________________
First we must have some theme music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnbiRDNaDeo

Jocky,
Now swing that scope toward the constellation Andromeda but don’t “strain” your eyes.
Good, now look North by Northwest and here we see Cassiopeein in the Big Dipper.
Now follow the arc to Arcturus where we find him shakin his Bootes.
But Sirius ly, you must not trifle with Mrs. Jocky or you’ll be spending the night in the Canis Major house.
Or worse still, she’ll accuse you of being a Lyra and force you to sleep in the Vega.
What’s this sticky mess on the eyepiece? Have you been eating Milky Way bars again?
Never mind about that let us turn our eyes to the south and behold the greatest *** tronomical spectacle of all time; Klingons around Uranus.

Gilliatt

[prendrelemick]

Cl***ic

[The Atheist]

What's with the asterisks?

Have donkeys suddenly become illegal? Didn't Jesus ride an ***?

[dafydd manton]

yeah, but we don;t want some *%^$* thinking that you can *&%#ing well say ''@?~=+ on the ##*&+ computer. For **#@=+$! sake!!

[The Atheist]

I assume this is some kind of error....

Why classic and not assume?

Scher is playing with us - it's not 1st April is it?

[dafydd manton]

Nah, I just didn't want to offend the delicate sensibilites of the average member, so a few things got deleted. You can't be too ******* careful.

[prendrelemick]

Everyone starts to pretend to swear, and what happens? - I've got a Laura Ashley Google ad !!!

Are they seeking to change their core customer demigraphic profile? What next, pink shell suits among the twin sets? Nylon leopard print curtains? Name change to Shazza Ashley? It will hit Mrs P hard.