Form Poem Contest

[Dark Muse]

Escape

She was the one in shades of black & blue
waiting enigmatically for the final train
her poor veiled eyes watched without a clue.

Navy blue duffle bag luggage soaked in the rain
lost among the crowd and totally alone
deep inside she'll never erase the reoccurring stain.

Her eyes turn upon the clock and contemplate the phone
feeling the weight of everything that will be left behind
cold skin like cold feet and fears like her hair wind blown.

Heavy metallic doors echo through her mind
and she hesitates for what seems like a life time
jarred as suddenly the gears begin to grind.

Still hovering half-way between escape the bells chime
almost a moment too late she says a last good-bye
and prepares to enter the great unknown sublime.

[Pendragon]

Crossroads

I stood in the night rain all alone
Blinded by tears and drops of rain—
Wondering where my life vanished and gone

Known only by sorrow and enveloping pain,
A moment frozen in space and in time
Forced to relive the past again and again

It makes no sense, neither rhythm nor rhyme,
To rehash the past, to dig up the bones—
Imprisoned in darkness having committed no crime

I seek refuge here among the standing stones
Placed here by Ancients now naught but dust
Yet company of ghosts beats being alone

Their polished, sharpened steel now gone to rust,
Yet still breathe their secrets and comfort to me
It’s not always that I want to be here—I must

Seeking the shadows, seeing what I shouldn’t see,
Echoes of the intangible, faces in the mist
Is there any comfort in this world for me?

I try hard to avoid this, I try to resist
So I part the curtain of the rain and take my leave
Cold comfort indeed may live in a mist…

Pendragon
© 6/4/10

[Paulclem]

Two great poems Pendragon and Dark!

[hillwalker]

Two great poems Pendragon and Dark!

I totally agree - just a gentle reminder there are nw just two weeks left before the deadline.
Let them creative juices flow.

H

[Dark Muse]

Thank you!

[Pendragon]

And thanks from me as well...

[krymsonkyng]

Breath in. Breath out.
Hit rewind and
remove all doubt

about the sand
in our hour glass.
Relax your hand,

let slack that sass
and hook a brother up.
you've filled my glass,

I'll fill your cup.
we've got all the time in the world
with which to sup.

[hillwalker]

I know picking the best from 3 is going to be difficult enough, but there is still time for others to join in - deadline 23.59 Thursday July 1st.

H

[hillwalker]

Your time is up - thanks you 3 for trying your hand at the terza rima.....

3 wonderful poems, all with their own individual strengths -

Dark Muse : straight from that opening line you captured my attention with the ambiguous phrase 'shades of black & blue' .....and I'm still not certain whether the ending refers to an escape to a better life or to oblivion.

Pendragon : another poem about a significant point in life when choices have to be made. This has a strong rhythm that seems to echo the sounds of the rain - and I loved the closing pair of lines
'So I part the curtain of rain and take my leave
Cold comfort indeed may live in a mist...'

krymsonkyng : a very original twist on the form - short, spiky lines - almost a rap - about time and fate having a quiet drink together while they contemplate another's destiny perhaps?

Difficult to choose, but Dark Muse takes the honours with 'Escape' - my favourite of the three I'll admit.

Congratulations DM, and thanks to the other two for providing such strong competition.

[zoolane]

Well done Dark Muse on your win, such worth winner.

[Dark Muse]

Oh wow thank you!

I will have the next form asap, still have to figure out what I want to choose.

[Dark Muse]

I really enjoy many of the Eastern styles of poetry and it seems outside of the haiku the great wealth of different Eastern styles are overlooked. So for this challenge I choose the Korean form known as Sijo.

The traditional Sijo is a 3 line poem that is a total of 44-46 syllables, which equals 14-16 syllables per line.

Line 1 presents a problem, beginning, question
Line 2 a development also known as a turn
Line 3 a strong conclusion with a surprise.

Here is an example of a traditional Sijo:

The spring breeze melted snow on the hills then quickly disappeared.
I wish I could borrow it briefly to blow over my hair
And melt away the aging frost forming now about my ears.
- U Tak (1262–1342)


I tentively set the deadline at July 15

[Pendragon]

The falling of Night sends icy cold deep into my lifeblood—
The desire for comfort and longing for the silent grave—
Yet the break of dawn sends promise that all is never vanished forever, a renewing hope

Pendragon

[Dark Muse]

Nicely done! Great first entry!

[hillwalker]

We spent the silent hours last night in secret slumber – then you left
I wish I knew for sure you shared my dreams and took me with you
Then I could drowse some more; secure, not due quite yet to waken

H