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Thread: My ghost & i.

  1. #1
    mazHur mazHur's Avatar
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    Exclamation My ghost & i.

    Go away, my ghost,
    leave me alone
    in peace;
    the river of my eyes
    is surging with high tides
    of slumber;
    I am setting the alarm
    that will wake me up
    lest you fall asleep too;
    Ask me not,
    the secret of my sleep is
    beyond your understanding;
    my somnolence is bound to beat
    that of Rip van Winkle’s;
    Ghostly ghost, I just don’t want to see you,
    you are the hex, main source
    of my anxiety and depression;
    you are the enemy of my peace;
    go away , go away,
    I've had had enough of you,
    your haunting sway;
    I want peace,
    peace of mind
    peace of heart
    even if I have to live by dying
    until I wake up old and feeble
    yet spiritually tranquil and complacent
    like someone born anew!
    Last edited by mazHur; 02-16-2010 at 01:30 PM. Reason: revised
    ===============-
    When asked how World War III would be fought, Einstein replied that he didn't know. But he knew how World War IV would be fought: With sticks and stones.
    -(:===============

  2. #2
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    There are a few typos or grammatical errors that interfere with a clear reading and I rather with you hadn't used the reference to Rip Van Winkle earlier in the poem as it took away from the effect it might then have had at the end.

    Apart from which, this is a heartfelt cry of agony. Thanks

  3. #3
    mazHur mazHur's Avatar
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    Thank you very much, Prince.
    Your comment has been surely very useful.
    I have revised the poem and hope you will like the 'improvements'!
    thanks again for reading and commenting
    best
    ===============-
    When asked how World War III would be fought, Einstein replied that he didn't know. But he knew how World War IV would be fought: With sticks and stones.
    -(:===============

  4. #4
    TheFairyDogMother kiz_paws's Avatar
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    I want peace,
    peace of mind
    peace of heart
    even if I have to live by dying
    until I wake up old and feeble
    yet spiritually tranquil and complacent
    like someone born anew!
    I really loved these phrases, Maz.

    Your exclamation point at the very end was cool. Thus the poem ends on a hopeful note. I liked this.
    Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty
    ~Albert Einstein

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