Headache
This headache is
just not for nothing
My mind is roaming
not just for nothing
I dreamt a dream
last night
I saw you,
Yes, you, my dear
pushing away my hand
leaving me alone
in the abyss of love
smiling and
walking away
with a beast!
I dreamt a dream
Headache
This headache is
just not for nothing
My mind is roaming
not just for nothing
I dreamt a dream
last night
I saw you,
Yes, you, my dear
pushing away my hand
leaving me alone
in the abyss of love
smiling and
walking away
with a beast!
Last edited by mazHur; 02-15-2010 at 09:16 PM.
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When asked how World War III would be fought, Einstein replied that he didn't know. But he knew how World War IV would be fought: With sticks and stones.
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ouch. there be a tempestuous bit of emotion. still, well captured even if it does leave me feeling a bit raw
I'm sorry, every time I see 'jerking off' in the the same line with 'hand' I have trouble keeping a straight face
Do you think 'tearing off' might be better?
hahahahha! you made a good catch!Originally Posted by Silas Thorne
I'm sorry, every time I see 'jerking off' in the the same line with 'hand' I have trouble keeping a straight face
Do you think 'tearing off' might be better?
'pushed away' would be better, I think.
Thanks...
===============
When asked how World War III would be fought, Einstein replied that he didn't know. But he knew how World War IV would be fought: With sticks and stones.
-(:===============
Yes, looks a lot better now.
I would probably prefer "jerking away" since it can be read both ways which actually seems to fit with the tone/theme of the poem.
"As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung
"To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists
"I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers
Hmmmm, interesting point he has. Maybe "jerking away" would be better for the raw factor. Besides, what you initially go with is usually closer to what you really mean, and therefore better.
P.S.
When I first saw the title of this thread, I thought perhaps Susan Boyle had finally joined the forum!
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