What's wrong with teenage pregnancy?

[applepie]

Just because it's physically possible to have a child at a certain age (hell, females as young as five have given birth) doesn't mean someone is emotionally ready to take care of that child.
I'm 19 years old and I think it's fair to say (though admittedly a little presumptuous) that I'm more mature than most people my age. If I got pregnant now, there is absolutely no way that I would be able to take care of that child the way that it deserves, even if I had the full support of my family, let alone if I had gotten pregnant at 16.
.

I smiled a bit when I started to read this thread While it isn't a funny topic, it is one that is near and dear to me.

I will turn 26 years old this year, and my oldest of my two children will turn 7 just weeks after me. As I'm sure you are doing the math, I turned 19 just a few short weeks before I gave birth.

I chose a very different path for my life than they typical graduate high school, go to college, start a career, and then worry about finding a spouse and having kids. Rather I graduated, married 3 months later, and found myself pregnant just another few months after that. That isn't to say that I have no experience with teenage pregnancy, because I had been pregnant and miscarried at 16.

The government and (in the US) states should have more programs to support young mothers in completing their education

I can say that there are plenty of programs to help mothers in the US. Not just young moms, but all women who find themselves pregnant. There is education assistance available if you seek it. Now, it will not pay for an expensive college in full, but it will help pay for you to attend a smaller college and further your education. There are even programs to help with child care and food. You just have to know who to ask.

it's more important to prevent these pregnancies in the first place by having proper sex ed.

I don't know how much more clear that they can be in sex ed... If you have sex, don't use a contraceptive, you can get pregnant. As a teen you are especially susceptible because people are hardwired to be most fertile between the ages of 16 and around 25 or so. Just because society has changed how young people are viewed does not mean that evolution has changed to keep up with it. I am far more likely to blame parents who would rather turn a blind eye to what their child is doing instead of ensuring that they are getting the proper care.

A teenager is essentially still a child, they really have no business raising a child themselves

The opinion that you voice above is what I think is the biggest problem within society. Teenagers are viewed as children and they are allowed to act as a child for many years beyond what would have been acceptable even a century ago. This, I believe, breeds the same immaturity that makes people incapable of handling such a situation. Even at 16 I was capable of caring for my own child. That isn't to say that life would have been easy, but I had a full time job and the common sense to know where to seek help. As it was, I had many of the same issues when I had my son. There was no family around, and my husband was in the military and around very little. I had the full care of my child with no relief for years. I still managed to attend school full time, online since there was no money for child care, and obtain my degree. There was some financial aid for school, but mostly I paid for school in the same way as the rest of the population, student loans.

We still struggle from time to time, having two kids to support now, but I think having my children young was the best thing I've ever done. I get my kids in a way that older people don't. I'm not always the most patient with them, but I doubt another decade or two would have changed that any. Even better, I'm really able to enjoy them. I don't get as exhausted as many of the other mothers I see who are 15 years my senior. I'm also less likely to be understanding to the point of spoiling my children rotten. All is all, it was the best thing for me. It helped me to be a better and more responsible person and I approach life much differently that others my age who are still behaving the same way I did 10 years ago.

[ennison]

What's wrong is that raising a child is a serious business and most teenagers are frivolous and unserious - as they should be.
Most of the children of teenage unmarried mums that I've seen are dysfunctional and the selfish desire of silly little girls to have real live dollies to play with is at the root of that.

[applepie]

What's wrong is that raising a child is a serious business and most teenagers are frivolous and unserious - as they should be.

Not to be entirely argumentative, but why should they be??? I honestly don't understand why society has started trying to lengthen childhood. It's only been in the 20th century that this became such a strong trend, and I really don't get it. I'll not be raising my children that way, and I certainly wasn't raised that way. There's no damage from being expected to act grown up at a younger age than current social standards demand. Even since I was a teen, I see it getting worse. I had someone tell me the other day that some immature behavior was OK because the individual in question was "just a kid". Said individual is the same age as me, and this isn't the first or last time that I'll hear such a thing. Before we know it the government will HAVE to change laws allowing people to vote at 18 and buy alcohol at 21 simply because people will not be adult enough to handle these decisions, and it will have all been encouraged by people trying to keep people kids longer.

[SleepyWitch]

The opinion that you voice above is what I think is the biggest problem within society. Teenagers are viewed as children and they are allowed to act as a child for many years beyond what would have been acceptable even a century ago. This, I believe, breeds the same immaturity that makes people incapable of handling such a situation.

that's exactly what I mean. I'm not encouraging teenage pregnancy as in saying that every unemployed 16 y/o drop-out should get pregnant. But I do think teenage pregnancy wouldn't be that much of a problem if we didn't allow our youngster to be so immature.

[Paulclem]

Not to be entirely argumentative, but why should they be??? I honestly don't understand why society has started trying to lengthen childhood. It's only been in the 20th century that this became such a strong trend, and I really don't get it. I'll not be raising my children that way, and I certainly wasn't raised that way. There's no damage from being expected to act grown up at a younger age than current social standards demand. Even since I was a teen, I see it getting worse. I had someone tell me the other day that some immature behavior was OK because the individual in question was "just a kid". Said individual is the same age as me, and this isn't the first or last time that I'll hear such a thing. Before we know it the government will HAVE to change laws allowing people to vote at 18 and buy alcohol at 21 simply because people will not be adult enough to handle these decisions, and it will have all been encouraged by people trying to keep people kids longer.

I think you've got a good point. In the past in the UK, school leaving was at 14. It's now going up to 18. I think it has to go up due to the skills necessary to operate in a modern eonomy. The downside is that the peer training given by older colleagues in work has been lost to be replaced with peers of a similar age. Problematic, given the current school system still groups kids in their own age groups.

[applepie]

that's exactly what I mean. I'm not encouraging teenage pregnancy as in saying that every unemployed 16 y/o drop-out should get pregnant. But I do think teenage pregnancy wouldn't be that much of a problem if we didn't allow our youngster to be so immature.

That's my point as well I'm not going to tell my daughter to go have a baby at 16, that would be silly because it does make life more difficult. You have much higher hurdles to overcome when you're a teen mom. I do think that if people expected their kids to behave more mature at a younger age that the 22-27 that seems to be expected now, then it would not be as BIG of a catastrophy. They would be more capable of really caring for a child instead of bemoaning the loss of their childhood.

[ennison]

Would you want to go to sea at 14 and be expected to take part in an adult world. For pity's sake lengthening childhood is progress.

[applepie]

Would you want to go to sea at 14 and be expected to take part in an adult world. For pity's sake lengthening childhood is progress.

It's progress to a point, but eventually it just becomes overcompensation. It is one thing to allow kids to be kids, it is entirely another to give people all the perks of being an adult and expect no responsibility. I don't think that expecting an 18 year old or even a 16 year old to behave like an adult when they are making adult decisions is too much.

In regards to pregnancy, having sex is a very adult thing to be doing, and if you are willing to do that then you should be willing and able to deal with the consequences. If you are not, then you have no real business being sexually active in the first place. I can offer the same wisdom that I grew up hearing, if you want to behave like an adult then you take everything that comes with it not just the fun bits.

[Paulclem]

Would you want to go to sea at 14 and be expected to take part in an adult world. For pity's sake lengthening childhood is progress.

And there lies the tension. The opportunity is offered through education etc. Do kids realise what an opportunity they have before they are then expected to work for most of their lives? No, because they are young. But lots of teens want to be adults and do adult things - which they clearly do. They need support and guidance from their parents etc, which they may or may not heed. Difficult situations arise.

[ennison]

But my idea of "childhood" is probably not the same as most in this forum.. It's simply an avoidance of the horrible exploitation that used to happen to the 14 -24 year age group.
Childhood ends in the 14- 16 age range but there are a number of indefinite years thereafter.

[Paulclem]

But my idea of "childhood" is probably not the same as most in this forum.. It's simply an avoidance of the horrible exploitation that used to happen to the 14 -24 year age group.
Childhood ends in the 14- 16 age range but there are a number of indefinite years thereafter.

Yes - difficult to generalise. It comes down to individuals and their circumstances. I feel sorry for the kids who get pregnant. It's hard enough as an adult. It's easy to complain about them, but after the fact you're then talking about the Mother and a baby. They need support, but of course it would be better if it happened later.

[BienvenuJDC]

To raise a child, the optimal conditions is one mother, one father, married in a happy home. If the teen is in those circumstances, then that is the best circumstances for the child.

[Niamh]

that's exactly what I mean. I'm not encouraging teenage pregnancy as in saying that every unemployed 16 y/o drop-out should get pregnant. But I do think teenage pregnancy wouldn't be that much of a problem if we didn't allow our youngster to be so immature.

Thats the point i was going to make.

In regards to pregnancy, having sex is a very adult thing to be doing, and if you are willing to do that then you should be willing and able to deal with the consequences. If you are not, then you have no real business being sexually active in the first place. I can offer the same wisdom that I grew up hearing, if you want to behave like an adult then you take everything that comes with it not just the fun bits.

Here here!!

[The Atheist]

Just for anyone who thought biological development is a good idea to base child-bearing on:

Link

[SleepyWitch]

Just for anyone who thought biological development is a good idea to base child-bearing on:

Link

Interesting (and shocking) article, Atheist. But I would still imagine that this is an exceptional case. Well, I suppose you are right to point out that kids become fertile at an increasingly younger age. So instead of teenage pregnancy, we'll probably have to worry about child pregnancy soon.