At the end of one of my Adult classes, I was saying good-bye to the learners. Ron, an old chap who had been along all year, shook my hand and said:
"Well it's been somewhere to come out of the rain."
At the end of one of my Adult classes, I was saying good-bye to the learners. Ron, an old chap who had been along all year, shook my hand and said:
"Well it's been somewhere to come out of the rain."
Alright, now we're cookin'!
Here are a few more from my vault (I've kept a Word document of these beauties for a long time).
Yes, indeed the evils of "human freedom" -- we need to put a stop to that post haste!King used the non-violent strategy to focus the nation's attention to the evils of racism and human freedom.
I couldn't tell if this ^ is insanely profound or. . . something else.Another confusing thought is the facts of science
And, my all-time favorite argument from a student essay:
I'm sold!One thing I disagree with is that all your life, people tell you "go to school, get an education, you will never regret it" So how come half the millionaire out there are either highschool drop outs or never went to college? You look at the TV sitcom "The Apprentice" the last two girls left: 1 a college graduate and the other a highschool graduate. That proves right there that you don't need book smarts to be successful.
Last edited by The Comedian; 12-03-2009 at 11:47 AM.
“Oh crap”
-- Hellboy
I so totally agree!Originally Posted by DanielBenoit
I literatley fell out of my chair! This is the funniest thread on litnet
This is genius.
Vanitas vanitatum, dixit Ecclesiastes, vanitas vanitatum, et omnia vanitas.
Yo sé quién soy, y sé que puedo ser no sólo los que he dicho. - Don Quixote
These are great
This reminded me of a youtube video, where an Australian MP is addressing parliament - and he struggles with the phrase "genetically modified organisms" - instead saying "orgasms" three times
This is great
One student wrote in their English personal statement that they admired 'Jane Austen's delightful vinegarettes'.
It was pretty funny in the context that it was written.This reminded me of a youtube video, where an Australian MP is addressing parliament - and he struggles with the phrase "genetically modified organisms" - instead saying "orgasms" three times
"The span of a micro-orgasms life is drastically shorter then that of a larger and more complex orgasm."
__________________
"Personal note: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun. So once when I was six, I did. At first the brightness was overwhelming, but I had seen that before. I kept looking, forcing myself not to blink, and then the brightness began to dissolve. My pupils shrunk to pinholes and everything came into focus and for a moment I understood. The doctors didn't know if my eyes would ever heal."
-Pi
JuniperWoolf - that's much more funny
It was "Jason Wood - GM Speech" in case anyone wants to check the video (makes me proud to be Australian)
:lol :lol :lol
neely those are great!!
made me laugh so hard! :lol
"My reason for preferring the darkness is that in the dark you have to describe yourself.
In the daylight other people describe you."
-Old Woody
Mr. God This is Anna by Fynn"Wear Sunscreen"
My father has two daughters...both of them are girls!
People laugh at me 'coz they think I'm a fool...I smile because I made someone laugh
Nikhar Agrawal
These quotes are are so funny!
I am an education student, so I haven't gotten to grade any papers. In fact, I'm going to be teaching elementary school, so there won't be a lot of paper, period.
In learning about grading, there was one funny example of what someone wrote as an answer to a math problem that I thought I'd share.
At the end of the question there was a statement: THE PROBABILITY IS________.
Instead of putting 1/3 (the answer) in the space, the student wrote "probably."
"And the singers, they wear rhinestones - and rhinestones, you see, are already parodies of diamonds, so you can't parody rhinestones."
This thread is hysterical!
I'll add a few of my own:
"Andrew Carnegie, a millionaire who earned a lot of money through trading steel, is not very known for his notorious means to be a number 1 steel trader in America."
And sadly, this was one of the better summaries of Julius Caesar in one of my classes:
"In Julius Ceasar, the roman emporor had many enemies and conspirators. However, he had one ally, his right hand man, Brutus. Brutus, later approached by Cassius, learns of a conspiracy to kill Ceasar. However, because of the doubts put into his head by Cassius, he keeps it a secret. After Ceasar's death, he realizes the huge mistake he has made and repents."
Can we say...spell-check?
I suspect some of these found on the Web are, er, enhanced for effect. - not least because I've seen many of them before, in various versions, and they seem to be evolving to ever higher states of honed dumbness.
I'm reminded though of a comment written in the margin of an essay submitted by a friend of mine when he was at Cambridge. Obviously exasperated, his lecturer had scribbled,
"This isn't right. This isn't even wrong."
Last edited by MarkBastable; 03-18-2010 at 11:47 AM.
This is delicious!!!! What a great thread!
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. His mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
I was helping my teacher grade papers and one students opening line was "The Bronx Zoo is a world famous tourist attraction located in Brooklyn, New York."
1. This was at a school in New York City.
2. We had been working on these final papers for the entire semester as they counted for a major portion of our grade.
3. Not just a minor miswritten word, the entire paper talked about Brooklyn and how the Zoo effects the economy and such of the area.
I'm not a teacher but I have tutored some kids and proof read essays and papers by friends.
One of my friends' brother, a 15-year-old, asked me to proof read his 'paper' on Shakespeare. In the first paragraph he had written something like this:
Shakespeare's most famous play is of course To be or not to be.
He also wrote Shakespeare lived in the sixties, which isn't entirely wrong but still...
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
