Farey jests with Thanatos Merrily[/I]
Farey jests with Thanatos Merrily[/I]
Last edited by Alexander III; 01-20-2010 at 05:24 PM.
I re edited the poem so I thought best to post the edited version here
O’ heavenly faery, enkindling splendiferous emotion
Faery youth frolicking wild, irresistible flirt
Upon sight feeble mortal shall hold thee in eternal devotion
Faery lies upon her gentle mead in full alert
O’ righteous knight, claiming ye kingdom
Blazing by on ye honorable steed, leaving trails of glamour
Not a single chink on ye unvanquished armor; until sweet balm
Ye adored, lighting unknown amour
Tendrils of smoke ensnare ye; drifting heavenly
Faery flawless visage, rendering life grotesque
Fervent mirrors to faery scarlet soul; drunkenly
Enchant ye, all honor rendered burlesque
Faery golden locks flickering in tranquil breeze
Sensuous fleur coating faery in untamed aroma
Nature bequeathed under faery spell, seeking to appease
Once Aristotle’s brightest, left in fruitless coma
Faery luscious bosoms urge
Frenzied ecstasy of fumbling
Master of naught ye submerge
Emerging doomed and stumbling
Faery wills and ye obey
Foxily flowing ye to rest
Towards docile pond ye stray
Fatal armor drags till last breath of ye breast…
You play with fire you get hurt
While faery frolics felicitously
You play with fire you get hurt
While faery jests with Thanatos merrily
Well I find the second version so much better, both more concentrated and relaxed, as though you mastered the technique and let go of it to focus on the contents. Great job!
I never commented on this when you first posted. Honestly, I like both versions, but I think the edited one makes better sense at the end.
What a clever idea! The poem is so fantastical (not a word)! That horrible fairy leading the gallant knight to his death. Is the fairy just evil? Is this why she does it?
The faery is neither good or evil she is merely indifferent.
How can she be indifferent is she kills someone?
the style is enchanting itself. i enjoyed the contrast of the inpenetrable knight, whom the faerie vanquished subtly, and 'all honor rendered burlesque' . the drama of him slowly stumbling toward his death was short... you could string us along longer with that, lol. you painted a vivid picture of the faerie. the storyline was enthralling.
Thank you Cogs for the comment. Jersea, well she disposed of the knight as she grew bored of him, I guess when I put it like that it sounds evil however the Faery is not human and thus should not be measured by the moral compass used for humans. I'm not sure if that makes sense.
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