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Thread: The me I am swaddled in

  1. #16
    Original Poster Buh4Bee's Avatar
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    I definitely enjoyed the revised edition. Made me think if the picture the scream when envisioning this person clawing at his/her cheeks.

  2. #17
    King of Dreams MorpheusSandman's Avatar
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    Certainly a provocative piece. I think we've all struggled against our own imaginative solipsisms where we wished we could escape ourselves and everything we are. I like how the final stanza is a contradiction between the common comforts of the warm bed and full stomach and the struggle with you against yourself. I'm not sure I care as much for the revision because the second stanza seems like less of a development and more of a reiteration.
    "As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being." --Carl Gustav Jung

    "To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due." --Neil Gaiman; The Sandman Vol. 4: Season of Mists

    "I'm on my way, from misery to happiness today. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh" --The Proclaimers

  3. #18
    Registered User Lumiere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MorpheusSandman View Post
    Certainly a provocative piece. I think we've all struggled against our own imaginative solipsisms where we wished we could escape ourselves and everything we are. I like how the final stanza is a contradiction between the common comforts of the warm bed and full stomach and the struggle with you against yourself. I'm not sure I care as much for the revision because the second stanza seems like less of a development and more of a reiteration.
    Thank you for your honesty. And since we're being honest, I'll say this: I much prefer the original myself. But it seemed to be unclear in its meaning. Of course, to me it couldn't have been clearer, but that's because I'm the source. "I have spent entire years...." alone would have had just as much meaning to me as the poem in its entirety, but that's not why we write poetry, (or at least that's only part of it). We also write poetry to evoke our own feelings in others, and in doing so have the comfort of knowing we are not alone in what we experience.

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