When we place dear ones row on row
As grains of love in death we sow
We leave them where there is no time
Where their ears bend to heavens chime
If time is just a figments kiss
Then will and was are only is
And outside time we're ever thus
A solar flare, a fleck of rust
"Remember, we are all in this alone." - Lilly Tomlin
the outside time... the ongoing present; the line "then will and was are only is" - reminds the meaning of the Name of manifesting deity in the Jewish tradition; anyhow, I was touched by this poem and its strong imagery. Thank you hack
Thank you Bar, I wrote it for my mother.
My mother was a single parent for much of my childhood.
My siblings and I kept her in a constant state of barely
restrained madness. When she had put up with all she
intended to put up with, her battle cry was "outside time".
It was not a mere suggestion.
Einstein said that "The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen all at once".
He called it an obstinate, persistent illusion.
If cause can follow the effect
I'll work after I get the check
Last edited by hack; 12-01-2009 at 02:26 PM.
"Remember, we are all in this alone." - Lilly Tomlin
I like the Einsteinian idea behind this and how truly it applies to the poems idea.Originally Posted by hack
This is great. Really great. The poem's 4x8, 8-8-9-8 syllable pattern powerfully pronounces "outside time", and the poem is so well written that the pattern is very subtle, it took me a bit to find it.
A third stanza would possibly have allowed you to expand on these themes, but the poem is arresting as it is.
And if everything does happen at once? as I expressed recently, in one compact Idea of the non existent on Existence???? and only from our perspective continuation, being, ongoing present are declinations of that one, time-not-measured "gaze of Deity" (or The Before Big Bang..) upon a possibility which to us is reality? well, mere speculation, of course, but -
the main thing I wanted to say here is that your poem gains power and warmth in the light of your comment on your Mother-created "outside time!" which for her was surely, so necessary a dimension of peace and renewal, and one might wish, one she would choose to rest eternally in...
(by the way, I sent you a PM but am not sure you got it...)
Thank you, It was but one of many gifts from my mother. I am happy you liked it.
"Remember, we are all in this alone." - Lilly Tomlin
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