Astraea

[Bakiryu]

your body is an arch of moonlight
soft and swaying in its motions
you are the night to me, teasing and taunting
mysterious, and endless

your lunar face lit, your brazen eyes
and those lips that curve lupine
if i dared, i would steal a kiss
like fire from heaven

you are beautiful to me
as beautiful as the sea, crashing and rolling
and even as i walk down the shores
i cannot have you

a star, far and distantly bold
if i held it in my hand, it would consume me
the star, like you, does not want me
does not know me

as i gaze for hours into its molten core
as i burn my lids trying to catch a glanze
how loveless it is, to love a star
when i'd rather have the woman

[DanielBenoit]

Excellent! Great! I sometimes make attempts at writing love poems, but they always come out as cheesy, cliched and melodramatic. This one is perfect and despairing. What better setting to use as a metaphor for longing than the beach?

Usually I find poems as direct as this to be overly-sentimental, but maybe I like this one so much because I have a vauge understanding of the context in which it was written (thanks to your blog posts).

My think my only problem is with the last line, it seems too literal after a poem of sublime metaphors. Yes it works as a representation of the dicotemy between the longing symbolism and the real thing, but how about "nympth", which fits in with the ocean imagery.

[cogs]

wonderful... i would say keep writing... images are inspired... i can tell it's from the heart... unrequited love... makes me want to write, oh no, the poem won't let me, ah, how i long to write it :b

[thepoet777]

Very very good. I quite enjoyed it. Keep it up. I look forward to reading more.