The Pros and Cons of Celibacy

[SleepyWitch]

My question would be why would anyone choose celibacy? I can see it being forced upon someone, as in the illness or death of a partner, but I just can't see waking up one morning and deciding that "I'm not going to have sex for next day/week/month/year." Why would someone make that decision?

I did that once. I was fed up with guys and couldn't be bothered with a relationship. And seeing as I'm not good at having one-night stands and don't know any guys who are either, the only way to avoid ending up in a meaningless "relationship" that is no more than a threadbare justification to have sex, I decided it would have to be celibacy for me. So I was celibate (as in not involving another person) for 3 years until I felt I was ready for a proper relationship. Why 3 years? Because I managed the first 2 easily and thought 'why not make it three'?
Is it difficult? No, not really, when you have other things to do and friends to spend time with.
Did it have any effect on me? Yeah, I guess it made me a little aggressive. But that allowed me to pour all my energy into my studies and sports, so that wasn't such a bad thing.

[atiguhya padma]

I appreciate those who feel they cannot have sex outside a 'meaningful' relationship, but I also think it is a sad state of affairs that there are some who somehow cannot have sex without all the burdens, the baggage, the compromises that a 'meaningful' relationship entails. Sure there may be many positive, passionate things about a continuous sexual relationship. There are also passions and romance about having sex with someone you know little about. In short, i think sex is too powerful, too important to be restricted to a particular type of relationship.

[soundofmusic]

I appreciate those who feel they cannot have sex outside a 'meaningful' relationship, but I also think it is a sad state of affairs that there are some who somehow cannot have sex without all the burdens, the baggage, the compromises that a 'meaningful' relationship entails. Sure there may be many positive, passionate things about a continuous sexual relationship. There are also passions and romance about having sex with someone you know little about. In short, i think sex is too powerful, too important to be restricted to a particular type of relationship.

atiguhya, you are always astounding me! What, do you feel, you experience from sex with a stranger?

[atiguhya padma]

Excitement, nervousness, uncertainty, an electric feeling of deep passion that is enhanced by not knowing so much about a person. Sometimes you might meet someone at a time and a place that makes you feel alive with an energy that encompasses you and them in a maelstrom of emotion that lives as much in that moment, in that space, as it does within you or them. To deny that feeling because you do not know enough about that person is an absurdity: there is both romance and passion in that brief moment, in that spontaneity of your raw emotion. Knowledge can add nothing to it. The Romantics knew what I am talking about. The Victorians did their best to deny it, to kill it.

[dianeee0905]

I thnk that you would have to actually go through it in order to say how it helps you. I personally think that it makes you appreciate a close relationship with someone emotionally. many people base relationships with sex. so i think that it makes a point

[The Atheist]

I appreciate those who feel they cannot have sex outside a 'meaningful' relationship, but I also think it is a sad state of affairs that there are some who somehow cannot have sex without all the burdens, the baggage, the compromises that a 'meaningful' relationship entails. Sure there may be many positive, passionate things about a continuous sexual relationship. There are also passions and romance about having sex with someone you know little about. In short, i think sex is too powerful, too important to be restricted to a particular type of relationship.

That is absolutely brilliant!

[soundofmusic]

Excitement, nervousness, uncertainty, an electric feeling of deep passion that is enhanced by not knowing so much about a person. Sometimes you might meet someone at a time and a place that makes you feel alive with an energy that encompasses you and them in a maelstrom of emotion that lives as much in that moment, in that space, as it does within you or them. To deny that feeling because you do not know enough about that person is an absurdity: there is both romance and passion in that brief moment, in that spontaneity of your raw emotion. Knowledge can add nothing to it. The Romantics knew what I am talking about. The Victorians did their best to deny it, to kill it.

Okay, Yes, I had forgotten about all of that I think I always felt those same emotions with anyone whom I really liked until I slept with them and knew I could control the relationship: know that they would arrive to a date, call the next day, continue to want me...

I must admit; There have been times when I have shared "instant chemistry" with a stranger; but the fear of STD's (and I really am not into using all of those protective devices that make one have to second guess every start) has always kept me "clean and sober"

[The Atheist]

Okay, Yes, I had forgotten about all of that

How could you forget about that??

I think I always felt those same emotions with anyone whom I really liked until I slept with them and knew I could control the relationship: know that they would arrive to a date, call the next day, continue to want me...

God, you were such a chick!

:I must admit; There have been times when I have shared "instant chemistry" with a stranger; but the fear of STD's (and I really am not into using all of those protective devices that make one have to second guess every start) has always kept me "clean and sober"

Luckily, I'm old enough not to have ever needed to bother with all that stuff - my sexual predation peak was firmly in the years after the birth of the pill and before the rise of AIDS.

I'm quite certain that if I were 22 right now, I'd be one of those foolish ones whose idea of protection is sunglasses.

[soundofmusic]

How could you forget about that??

God, you were such a chick!

Luckily, I'm old enough not to have ever needed to bother with all that stuff - my sexual predation peak was firmly in the years after the birth of the pill and before the rise of AIDS.

I'm quite certain that if I were 22 right now, I'd be one of those foolish ones whose idea of protection is sunglasses.

Well, you know, its been like 28 years since I felt all of those feelings at once. I felt a few of them more recently; but there was that fear of "instant Karma" always hanging over my head...

Oh yes, the control thing. My neighbor claims it's because I'm a Scorpio!

I've never tried sunglasses Yes, I too was at my sexual peak in those days! The birth control pills were awfully strong then: I had like major hormone overload; and I gained...well, enough that I couldn't show my cute 23" waist. I liked those inverted things the ladies used; well, at least better than condoms.

[The Atheist]

Well, you know, its been like 28 years since I felt all of those feelings at once. I felt a few of them more recently; but there was that fear of "instant Karma" always hanging over my head...

Haha! I can relate to that.

I have a standing deal that if Rhonda snuffs it, I'll be hookers only from now on. I could be celibate like the moon could be green cheese.



But yes, the thought of the one-night stand would be tremendously appealing, but the following thought of what comes after it would soon turn me off like a switch.

Oh yes, the control thing. My neighbor claims it's because I'm a Scorpio!

Wow! That is accurate. Amazing thing is with women, it also denotes Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces and about 5 more. The only one it can't be part of is whatever my wife is. Among all of her myriad faults, controlling ain't one of 'em. (I did check, I keep a list )

Blame your genes - it's innate that women want to rule the world. Personally, having seen the results of 1000,000 years of male domination, I'd be prepared to give you a go.

If you got rid of those scary hairy sheilas.

I've never tried sunglasses Yes, I too was at my sexual peak in those days!

Nothing to do with sexual peak - that's around 50 for men.

Just in those days I had far fewer morals. (read: none at all)

The birth control pills were awfully strong then: I had like major hormone overload; and I gained...well, enough that I couldn't show my cute 23" waist. I liked those inverted things the ladies used; well, at least better than condoms.

"Dutch caps" they used to be called. Haven't seen one of them for many years. Cunning contraception plan. I always thought it worked just as well as a chastity belt.

[soundofmusic]

Wow! That is accurate. Amazing thing is with women, it also denotes Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces and about 5 more. The only one it can't be part of is whatever my wife is. Among all of her myriad faults, controlling ain't one of 'em. (I did check, I keep a list )

Blame your genes - it's innate that women want to rule the world. Personally, having seen the results of 1000,000 years of male domination, I'd be prepared to give you a go.

If you got rid of those scary hairy sheilas

"Dutch caps" they used to be called. Haven't seen one of them for many years. Cunning contraception plan. I always thought it worked just as well as a chastity belt.

You mean there is one womans sign that doesn't want to rule the world; not even from afar...maybe it's just because she has a practical fellow like you around; maybe you fulfill all of her needs

Ah yes, the Dutch caps...yes, I liked those; well, as long as one didn't hang by a fan

[Leannain]

My long, and long overdue haitus begins shortly. I am celibate. I do not recommend it for any but the most principled. True to self (fidelis), I don't accept gifts motivated by pity, nor do I demean the giver/gift or purchaser/supplier by visiting business establishments legally established for the purpose of providing for those wishing to be incelibate. Ahuman child ignorant of human touch may be less than what is expected of human definition. While "doing it" has the possibility of elevating the human experience to one of its own ultimate levels, in and of, and for and only for itself, it also has the possibility of lowering to utter meaninglessness. It does fit the definition of sublime at its best. peace out.

It depends on the person you sleep with, that is, if we are balancing the cons and pros of being celibate.

Celibacy doesn't mean you stop being a sexual creature. You can still be sexual albeit in a more personal experience.

Those pros, well, you don't risk getting a woman pregnant. You don't risk getting ticked into a 'oops' pregnancy(meaning, she either punctured your condoms or lied; said she was on BC but wasn't).

Celibacy also teaches you to focus your energy on yourself. Say, some will still be sexual while others will use that sexual drive(a huge male drive) to perfect their art; Tesla was one of those followers.

You don't get any std when you are celibate.

In the same wave, you don't have to put up with anyone(girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband), with their emotional needs or their sexual needs.

When you stop caring about other people you are released from an obligation. Societies obligation to perpetuate the species(breed and support a family) you are handled an infinite array of choices, time and the salvation from stress.

There's also a nice little bonus to celibacy. The more you go without sex, the more your desire/lust for it lessens.

People who indulge in sex in great quantities will become slaves. Slaves of their urges.


The evil side of sex - more and more human beings harbor stds. The most common is HPV. HPV is linked with Genital warts, prostate cancer, cervical cancer etc. There are at least, 4 strands of HPV.

You can have sex with condoms but the truth is, condoms aren't bullet proof. They don't null the risk of stds; only lower it. There are studies made on condoms efficiency on protecting from HPV and it seems, there's a 70% chance a male has of catching it.

More so, more throat like sexual practices are usually done to several sexual partners without condoms(a little bit of protection) which means, the person(who or man) who does the act has a great chance of developing throat cancer.

That's only as far as HPV.

There are myriads of stds. My urologist tells me of the many patients he has; people thinking they can get only get stds if they don't use condoms. Well, most of the patients he has have herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea etc.

Sex also means you are viable.. to become a father. The condom can break(trust me, a little rough exercise will break it), the condom might be defected, the woman's BC(the pill) can fail because she has a cold, or her body rejects the pill, or whatever.

Sex also means she can trick you into becoming a dad. Remember, you have obligations, never a right. A woman can abort your child if she feels like it or, she can make you pay child support for 18 years old; she can also manipulate you into marriage(then, steal alimony and the house from you).

Also, there have been many cases of false rape reports. With that, I mean, a woman goes to a bar/club, hits on a man(or is seduced) sleeps with him, wakes up next day feeling like a "prostitute", picks up a phone and reports a rape.

Or, you fail(or to you, it was just sex) to call her the next day: she thinks you used and abused her; rape report.

There also been cases of women having sex then when the parent/friends found out, those females cried "rape" lest someone thinks of her/them as "prostitutes."

Sex is also a drug. The more you do it, your brain releases hormones that make you bond and crave sex.

Guys and gals; most guys claim to have a high quantity of sexual partners while women claim to have a far lower number. What gives? Men are lying, or it's a small sect of the males getting all the sex(the most attractive of males), or women are far more sexual than they claim to be?

Funny, heh?

Now, one can argue that those women and men carrying stds are either club hoppers, prostitutes, or Players.

No, because studies show that most people will have a std. Which means, most people you interact with and you lust after, have at the very least HPV. Which means, you suffer the very high possibility of getting std infested.


From a logical point of view; sex is too troublesome, too dangerous and too prone to go wrong.

From an emotional point of view; humans seem to need physical contact and to have someone to call "boyfriend" and "girlfriend."

If you happen to be lucky enough to find a virgin( a true virgin: no sexual contact with anyone and that includes kissing) sure, go for it. But, if you are like most human beings you'll encounter people with sexual pasts and the risks are grand and mighty.


To finish this up:

Condoms don't protect, only minimize. Safe sex is a lie. Protected sex is a projection by the manufacturers of condoms, with the intuit of selling.

Sex with a condom well, feels awfully .

You risk getting a woman pregnant, or getting tricked by a woman to marry her/have a kid with her.

The feel good hormones released during sex can be released whenever you want, how much you want, by exercising(running, weight lifting etc) or by using the most primeval of all sexual releases.

So what's the positive's in sex?

For me, what are the positives of sex?


Breasts and kissing both aspects of sexual interaction I can more than less live without.

And guys: one little advice.

Stay away from women in their 30's. If they are single, they are single for a reason. Mainly, they wanted to concentrate on a career. Now that their "baby rabies" has hit, they'll look for a guy who'll father her kids. She can either make you marry her or she'll steal your used condoms/don't use birth control etc.

For this reason, sperm donation has halted into drying up..in Australia, a woman can go to a sperm bank, get pregnant then track down the sperm provider and demand child support. That's why women, more and more women in their 30/40's are freezing their eggs while waiting for the charming prince - who will never arrive.


ps: Yes, society needs people to reproduce, raise families and work 9 to 5 soul - crushing jobs to sustain itself.

But that's the thing. Why worry about it? You only have one life. Don't waste it by doing "the right" thing; invest it, make yourself happy, release yourself from your biological and social conditioning.

[Zee.]

And guys: one little advice.

Stay away from women in their 30's. If they are single, they are single for a reason. Mainly, they wanted to concentrate on a career. Now that their "baby rabies" has hit, they'll look for a guy who'll father her kids. She can either make you marry her or she'll steal your used condoms/don't use birth control etc.

I'm sorry, you seem smart, i've read many of your posts but that right there is the dumbest thing i've read in a very, very long time..


It also makes you sound like people are 'picking' people to be with, opposed to simply .. falling in love, regardless of age or whatever other factor.


Edit - also, i'm sorry, but it sounds like you're being deprived or something..

read over your post, it's quite ridiculous.

[Leannain]

I'm sorry, you seem smart, i've read many of your posts but that right there is the dumbest thing i've read in a very, very long time..


It also makes you sound like people are 'picking' people to be with, opposed to simply .. falling in love, regardless of age or whatever other factor.


Edit - also, i'm sorry, but it sounds like you're being deprived or something..

read over your post, it's quite ridiculous.

Tell that to the many poor fellas who ended up victims of what I'm talking about. Falling in love? I think most of us here have let go of the High School mentality. When I was younger(these days, I lack the desire to interact with them), I would see these same women interact with me with fun in their mind. Not "love." I was aggressive(still I am), didn't care about anything at all, and I was angry at the world.

Those factors triggered a woman's attraction to me. Younger women my age and older women. But women, when they began to have a more "settled" mentality, that is, wanted to have children and a husband; they go for the responsible, with a good safety nest(money) like some of my more reserved and they either have children with them or have children with other guys but let these more stable guys raise the children as their own, many times without knowing.


Does this sound "romantic"? No. No one said life was meant to be romantic. This is fact. have you ever dated a woman who is in "settling" down mode? I have.

Her questions are around this: "Do you have a job?" "what do you think you are going to be doing in 5 years?" "Do you have your own house?" "Do you want children?"

Some have tried to make me not use a condom. others have tried to fish the condom out of the bin. Funny thing is, I don't, when I have sex, ever get the clothes off . I literally do the deed dressed so I can snatch the condom and store it somewhere safe. My parents raised no fool. Sometimes I follow the woman to the bathroom and I find her going through the trash, mad that she can't find the condom. That's funny!

I have several friends who had vasectomies done and keep quiet. Then, they get a girlfriend(many of them are decent, career women) sleep with them and she says she's on the BC. They, chuckling on the inside ascribe to this notion, have sex with her without the condom; a few months later: surprise! You are going to be a daddy.

I've lost count of how many times they've come to me laughing, telling me that they've shown the sperm count report to them; the women denied being at fault. The baby is born, my friends demand an ADN test: The woman disappears.

These 30 year old women, when they realize I'm not going to spend money on them, that I am only interested in having fun(because I don't want to spend my life working soul - destroying jobs to support a family or worse, have my house(a full paid 4 room house) and alimony, they move on to other guys. Guys who never had much female attention hence, they fall for this strategy.

Between the reality of being a cad or a provider; it's better to be a cad but now, I'm tired of women and I want to invest my time in something useful. Like Literature.

I'm not picking on anyone, lass. This whole feminized world that makes men bend over to please and support women is what annoys me. Saddens me as well.

Love. Marriage. Feminine social constructions to bind men to women. Hormones and emotions are easy to create. I can create them inside a woman by being sweet, indifferent, caring, a jerk; by writing poetry, by picking her up, by hugging her.

Love is nothing more than the reaction of an action. And emotions are temporary while problems and consequences are forever.

You speak the truth about one thing. I am an intelligent man. Intelligence is to be used in everything. What can I do then, but apply this intelligence on interpersonal relationships and see the pros and cons of it, comprehend that there are no positives in it, that I have a high chance of falling out of it damaged in some way and that I can be controlled by the female and the state if I give in to my biological imperative?

What you are trying to do with "love is this and that" and "I thought your posts were intelligent until I saw this and now I see you are ridiculous" are nothing more than shaming language, meant to make me dress a white knight armor suit and follow the rest of the males, chasing after women, pleasing women, giving in to women(attention, gifts, my emotions, my time, my genetic material) and be a slave to my urges.

Ah, the most mystical of all Scorpios has broken all rules, all demands and obligations expected out of him and now, he lives a lifetime free of stress, drama, children and demanding women.

Love? Marriage is a contract. Didn't you know that? or you're avoiding that issue? if you aren't aware, in Australia, you only need to live with a woman 6 months for the govt. to make both of you legally married.Moreso, if a woman starts calling herself Mrs. Smith(Smith being your last name), you are doomed; you are the husband and now you are responsible for her.

Besides, remember college? Women will go to college, get student loans, then get out college, marry and guess what? the husband will have to pay for the loans.

Another funny facet of "love" is women having fun with the likes of me when they are the prime of their beauty(18 to 25) then get married to a stable, provider. Well, so what is a man? an entertainer? he's there to provide the emotions and feelings and drama and then, the next stage of her life is the guy who'll provide financial security?

Sadly, the 30 year old woman, even if she's secure in her career, independent and all, she'll still seek a guy with at the very least as much academic education as her and more than less, a guy who earns more than her.

I'm not up for that. If I interact with women on a sexual level(and that desire is lowering as I grow older), I interact with women who'll give me a bit of satisfaction and that woman is the 18 to 25 year old woman. The rest of women, the older, are too dangerous.

I pity these fellas who get married, you know, sooner or later, the woman will divorce him(that usually happens after 4 years into the marriage. Gotta love love, right?) take from him everything he has, leaving him miserable, depressed and dead.

Did you know that most marriages are ended by women? And that many, many males who are divorced end up killing themselves or living in poverty because they have to pay alimony? There was a case of a man who divorced his wife 25 years ago. All of a sudden, the woman approaches a judge and demands alimony because she's bankrupt. Guess what? She got it.

lastly, I have too much to loose(houses, money, my freedom, my man - child status) and too little to gain by "falling in love".

What am I again? 15 year old?

I have to admit that you do have a knowing eye for realizing my high quality, so kudos to you and for that, for your clarity of spirit I won't instill into this post a lot of more reasons why marriage or a serious relationship(or even casual sex) is too much of a risk, I'd dabble on the lies feminism has created and sold to men but alas, the soap opera is on and I feel graceful tonight.

So guys, if you want to have fun with women; do so. It's quite easy. Don't present yourself as a reliable mate, show yourself as an irresponsible, James Dean persona and sex will flow like water. But, my knowing advice to you is to forget it all and concentrate on making yourself what you want to be. A writer? A painter? a race car driver? All the world's professions and mastery are open to you if you decide to not support a family that will end up stabbing you in the back.

Myself? I thank my father - for working a soul - crushing job, because it's the right thing to do. Immediately, it came to me that slavery is still very much alive. And I thank my mother. She always told me never to fall for the lies of feminism, her, being a feminism herself, on of the first of my Country also shaped my path into Liberty, greatness and a long, long lifetime with youthful looks and body because I don't have to work for anyone but me and, because I have inherited money from my ancestors(being the last male of the line helps) I don't have to work at all; and no one, no woman is going to touch my money, even if it was on a "date."

The greatest energy of love is love for itself. By loving yourself, you are experiencing true, everlasting love.

And when women come out with the "people fall in love and love is important " and what not, those same women are the women who will divorce you a few years after when the love hormones wear off with the excuse "I'm sorry, I love you, but I don't love you anymore."

Ya know why my ancestors marriage lasted a lifetime? Because they knew love is transient, but dedication is key for marriage. Try to tell that to women now. They' demand an exciting, full of drama and emotions, personal life. The feelings cease to exist? You can kiss your relationship goodbye.

And man, do I love shaming language. Always tickles my engines.

So honey, not only I am a very gifted poet, a rather intense and exciting young male and intelligent; I am too smart to fall, aha.

[Zee.]

That's a lot to respond to so i'll just make this simple because i can't really be bothered, if i'm honest, to get in to a debate about it.


Sounds like you're bitter. I mean, you're making a very big generalization about women. A big one. I'm a woman and i don't apply to most of what you have just said.

I find the way you talk about marriage quite interesting. I don't know about anyone else and i can't speak for anybody else but i personally, am not a person of convenience. I know that when i marry, it'll be out of love. Sure, people fall out of love, and when that happens, relationships end.. marriage, ends. But that's life i guess. It depends on the person. Simple minded people who live life like it's a clock - hit an age, freak out, and begin to tick off a list.. marriage, babies..retirement. I'm only 18 but I know for a fact I won't live my life like that. I'm rambling but meh,

it kind of sounds like you're being a downer about natural.. exciting things in life. You've had your bad experiences, yeah, but i suppose you've just met the wrong kind of people for YOU