Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: And

  1. #1
    Internal nebulae TheFifthElement's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    3,067
    Blog Entries
    176

    And

    We’re lying in the long grass
    and you say something about the sanctity of freedom,
    the oneness of existence, the self drifting
    alone on an overcrowded sea

    and I say nothing

    and meanwhile our fingers are knotted
    like a muscle, inseparable, flesh from flesh
    and you lean over
    and whisper to me
    something about the planets, the milky way,
    the great burning star that is the sun

    and I say oh

    and meanwhile the tiny hairs on your face
    are touching the tiny hairs on my face

    and your mouth is touching my mouth
    as you say something
    about the violence of evolution,
    atom splitting atom, cell splitting cell,
    about life emerging stronger in the wake of destruction

    and meanwhile your skin is chafing my skin,
    your deft tongue carefully probing, examining,
    and I say yes.
    Want to know what I think about books? Check out https://biisbooks.wordpress.com/

  2. #2
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Montreal, QC
    Posts
    8,746
    Blog Entries
    1
    Extraordinary, both for the delicacy of its unfolding and the visceral passion of it.

    The final "Yes" is likely to evoke the "'Yes," I said" of Molly Bloom's soliloquy in Ulysses, but has its own quiet but forceful power here.

  3. #3
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    20,354
    Blog Entries
    248
    Oh my God Fifth!!! This is your best poem ever. Fantastic!!!!!!!!! I wish i had written this, and I don't think I've ever said that.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  4. #4
    Registered User paperleaves's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    In a garage with books and mice.
    Posts
    448
    Blog Entries
    36
    I agree with the previous comments, I find myself hunched over my laptop in a catatonic haze of both envy and reverence for this remarkable poem....
    I also wish that I had written it! so that I could receive the glorious praise that is about to befall you for writing such an intricately beautiful poem.


    in kindness
    kate
    "real
    loneliness
    is not
    necessarily
    limited to
    when
    you are
    alone
    "
    -C. Bukowski

  5. #5
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Florida near Tampa Bay
    Posts
    3,015
    To borrow from Thomas Hardy, and this will go onward the same though galaxies pass.

    I enjoyed this Fifth. Iepecially liked:

    and meanwhile our fingers are knotted
    like a muscle, inseparable, flesh from flesh
    and you lean over
    and whisper to me
    something about the planets, the milky way,
    the great burning star that is the sun

  6. #6
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Lost in the bell's curve
    Posts
    5,123
    Blog Entries
    66
    Oh, yes, Fifth, this is one for the ages. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful...
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

  7. #7
    Registered User Sampson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    "swimming language seas"
    Posts
    192
    In many senses I would consider this a perfect poem! From simply the layout on the screen to the way your vocabulary not only creates images but provokes a thoughtfulness, this poem is spot on. I'm blown away...

  8. #8
    chercheur ~Sophia~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Montmartre, Paris
    Posts
    713
    Blog Entries
    23
    Fantastic Fifth! Just fantastic!

  9. #9
    Internal nebulae TheFifthElement's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    3,067
    Blog Entries
    176
    Thanks Sophia, Sampson, Qimi, Firefangled, paperleaves, Virgil and Prince Myshkin. High praise indeed; I'm humbled by your comments

    PrinceMyshkin, I've never read Ulysses but perhaps I will now. Thanks.
    Want to know what I think about books? Check out https://biisbooks.wordpress.com/

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •