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  1. #1
    seasonably mediocre Il Penseroso's Avatar
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    Untitled

    Thanks for commenting. Removed by author.
    Last edited by Il Penseroso; 12-01-2009 at 03:40 AM.
    and somehow a dog
    has taken itself & its tail considerably away
    into the mountains or sea or sky, leaving
    behind: me, wag.
    - John Berryman

  2. #2
    seasonably mediocre Il Penseroso's Avatar
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    The title is "Nest"
    and somehow a dog
    has taken itself & its tail considerably away
    into the mountains or sea or sky, leaving
    behind: me, wag.
    - John Berryman

  3. #3
    Wild is the Wind Silas Thorne's Avatar
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    Wow! I'm not sure what interpretation to make from this, since each time I read the poem I get a new perspective on what it means to me. Maybe I'm 'touristing perspectives'. Anyway, excuse my ignorance, but I really wanted to comment on this wonderful and mysterious poem.

    I've read the poem over and over, and I love the language you've used through the whole of it. Some of the lines really struck me:

    'a blackened stick outthrust from
    names. Veins that curve like a
    shattered vase without a newer game.'

    Just incredible use of language!

    and those last two lines, terrific!

    I've only just touched the surface, but I will come back to this poem again and again. It is a mystery I want to delve further into. Thank you for sharing this, and sorry I cannot grasp what you've intended. I perhaps glance too much at the surface of things, and find it difficult to get deep into them.

  4. #4
    seasonably mediocre Il Penseroso's Avatar
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    Thanks Silas.

    I don't profess to be entirely clear on the meaning myself, though there are a few intended thematic concerns (mostly obvious).

    I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    Also, I changed the last two lines and a few more things. Hope you don't disprove.
    Last edited by Il Penseroso; 11-24-2009 at 12:49 AM.
    and somehow a dog
    has taken itself & its tail considerably away
    into the mountains or sea or sky, leaving
    behind: me, wag.
    - John Berryman

  5. #5
    seasonably mediocre Il Penseroso's Avatar
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    Last edit I think.
    and somehow a dog
    has taken itself & its tail considerably away
    into the mountains or sea or sky, leaving
    behind: me, wag.
    - John Berryman

  6. #6
    Still, on a chalk plateau Bar22do's Avatar
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    Oh my God! this is so vivid and so final - the lines:
    "sand numbered
    in seconds quivering
    toward nil."
    are exquisite...
    Your poem shook me so deeply that it pains... a disaster took place somewhere inside me... your language is splendid and dense and I almost hear the shout (and see "The Shout"), it too in ashes...
    I hesitate to say 'thank you', but am astounded --

  7. #7
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    Yes, the images are powerful...I especially love "scattered nerves and abstract napes...", the whole second stanze and of course, the last two lines.
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

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