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Thread: Quest (please comment! :)

  1. #1
    veni vidi vixi Bakiryu's Avatar
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    Talking Quest (please comment! :)

    I don’t have a list, a reason or rhyme
    A perfect story, or a set of to-dos
    I’ve set out in this mighty trek
    Without knowing where to look
    To find, to see, to chase, to hunt
    All I would do for you

    For you I would walk to China and back
    Make my way round the world
    Swim to Australia in the way
    Shoeless and starving until I finally made it home
    For you I would stop in every tree and make a shrine to your name
    to scream my love in their leaves
    Keep it safe in their hearts
    Until all forests knew of your beauty and grace

    For you I would make my way to Mars
    Build a staircase to the sun
    And it would all be made out of grains of sand
    Which I’ve counted one by one
    Until the seas and the waves know nothing but you
    (I’ll find Atlantis if you want)
    And fish in oceans away
    whisper of your intelligence and wit, and corals build cities in your name

    For you I would run from door to door
    And praise the gospel of you
    Until an entire nation converts and they all
    They all praise you
    And then I would make my way to heaven and snatch the harps
    From the angels themselves
    Just so they could play you a perfect song
    Sing the glory of your name

    And I would steal the colors from rainbows
    The powder from stars
    And out of helium and nitrogen
    Create a masterpiece in your image
    Revive DaVinci and repaint the Mona Lisa
    This time in galaxies and spires
    Until there are no stars in space
    But you

    I would make a melody from the bones of the world
    Until the earth itself shakes in your effigy
    And the skies bellow your name
    And the planets bow in apology
    And I would fight a thousand dragons
    (if you want)
    Make my way from Minas to Mordor
    Slay a Balrog in the way
    Climb the tower at Isengard (if it’s still there)
    And find all the lost entmaids
    (if you ask)
    Poke Sauron in the eye and connect all the Palentirs
    I would take infinity itself and make it a ring to put on your finger
    And dig the diamonds from the earth without a pick or other instrument just to make a pathway
    For you
    Polish the lakes and the skies
    So they could become your mirror
    And make my way to the side
    Of another universe
    Because there’s no space here on earth
    To hold all the ways I love you

    I could describe you in a thousand ways
    But they would never come as close
    To the curving arc of your smile
    Sharp as the edge of the moon
    A scythe to cut through the lies
    Pale as the snow of your skin
    That shames the winter itself
    And sings to itself from within

    I could never tell the world how you
    Speak in such a melodious sense
    That if heard Beethoven himself (if he hadn’t been deaf)
    Or Bach, Chopin, even Mozart
    Would throw their senses away
    Because they can’t compose such a sound
    As your words

    Your beauty shames the moon
    And she, fickle and vain, hides by day
    As not to see one more fair
    The sun blushes and pales
    So that when you arrive the skies gray
    And the clouds themselves weep to see such a sight
    as the full moon of your face

    If I could describe you I’d tell the tale
    Of how your body is a map
    Of curves and twists, the surface of the earth
    Torn between volcanoes and calm lakes
    And the night itself becomes you and your hair
    Like seas of ink sinking their teeth
    Into reality

    For you I would create the world anew
    Make my way down to Tartarus
    And unlock the gods themselves
    From their age-long pilgrimage
    To see if you exist
    Because no hand could make you

    And if I could
    I would do all these things to tell you
    That you are beautiful
    The most shinning of sights
    A real-life seraphim

    That your very existence must be a lie
    Or a hallucination
    Because no random combination
    Of chromosomes and chromatin
    Or Pygmalion with his chisel
    Could make such a fantasy
    As you
    And if you must know yes
    I’m making all this up in the hope
    That you might look my way
    As I shrink into the wall
    Because looking directly at you
    Is like gazing into a star

    Until your image forever is imprinted into my eyes
    And I can only say, I love you
    And gaze down at the ground
    As you walk away smiling.
    Last edited by Bakiryu; 11-12-2009 at 06:24 PM.
    Shall these bones live?

  2. #2
    veni vidi vixi Bakiryu's Avatar
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    or DON'T comment. jeez, y'all are a tough crowd to please.
    Shall these bones live?

  3. #3
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Kinda makes me wish I were the one for whom you'd do all of this... Beautiful poetry!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  4. #4
    Original Poster Buh4Bee's Avatar
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    Quite a quest. Hope it's worth the trek.

  5. #5
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    Wow, if someone wrote that about me i would be in love with them forever. I enjoyed it Baki, but I thought it too long. It just got repetitive after a while. I would end it here:

    I don’t have a list, a reason or rhyme
    A perfect story, or a set of to-dos
    I’ve set out in this mighty trek
    Without knowing where to look
    To find, to see, to chase, to hunt
    All I would do for you

    For you I would walk to China and back
    Make my way round the world
    Swim to Australia in the way
    Shoeless and starving until I finally made it home
    For you I would stop in every tree and make a shrine to your name
    to scream my love in their leaves
    Keep it safe in their hearts
    Until all forests knew of your beauty and grace

    For you I would make my way to Mars
    Build a staircase to the sun
    And it would all be made out of grains of sand
    Which I’ve counted one by one
    Until the seas and the waves know nothing but you
    (I’ll find Atlantis if you want)
    And fish in oceans away
    whisper of your intelligence and wit, and corals build cities in your name

    For you I would run from door to door
    And praise the gospel of you
    Until an entire nation converts and they all
    They all praise you
    And then I would make my way to heaven and snatch the harps
    From the angels themselves
    Just so they could play you a perfect song
    Sing the glory of your name

    And I would steal the colors from rainbows
    The powder from stars
    And out of helium and nitrogen
    Create a masterpiece in your image
    Revive DaVinci and repaint the Mona Lisa
    This time in galaxies and spires
    Until there are no stars in space
    But you
    I think after that was tedious and not as interesting.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  6. #6
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    I have to agree, it's kinda long, but you have a gift for description. If you shorten like Virgil suggested don't toss these lines:

    "I would make a melody from the bones of the world"

    "Like seas of ink sinking their teeth/Into reality"

    There are other lines not to toss, but these were my favorites.

    Keep reading and writing poetry Bakiryu!

  7. #7
    Ruadh gu brath ampoule's Avatar
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    Isn't it a wonderful feeling? You have captured it.
    I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.

    "If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor

  8. #8
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    This deep and intense love is mostly found in poems like this and whether one expects or finds such love is questionable. But this is really absorbing.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

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