Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[3wivesandimout]

umm, No I walked through the front door. (I stopped following people since that unfortunate court order)

Ah, a beautiful lady with a sense of humor. Forgive me, sweet lady, it was fear of suffering yet another sad rejection that forced my heartless retreat!

[The Atheist]

Is it safe to enter camp again? Have you boys finally come to your senses and run those coffee toting tarts out of here?
I’m off satiating our hunter gatherer instincts in search of meat, Wild Turkey and ale and what do I find upon my return? A cave ransacked by raucous, licentious bantering with a bunch of broads!

Jealous you weren't here when they arrived?

As to the Aussie impersonator slur it was not worthy, next thing you will accuse me of being ENGLISH.

Never! Some things are still taboo.

Question, do Kiwis never get drunk, fight, curse, or tell lies ? This is the ' Heart of the Matter '

The question should be, "Do they ever do anything else?"

[gbrekken]

drinks-is single malt unfit for manliest, since it's too gentlemanly? No water desired-rusts the pipes. BEER-the manner of drinking is important. Single small can-open bottom with can opener and start sucking it up/down, lift can right side up and pop the top; single glug without the apple's ups and downs. Large can (16 gallon with flexible hose) (some manly assistance required unless..)-grip sides firmly in both hands. Stand on hands (hence the help for those less gorillic). Have spigot placed in mouth and open it. You can stop anytime you need to breathe. Return to upright position and prepare for your next sip. 25 seconds is the longest I've seen someone keg-stand. 1/2 shot Tuaca, 1/2 shot Kahlua, 1/2 shot Bailey's, full shot hot coffee (Cuban okay) and in minutes you're awake and ready to face the day!

Even I would like to hear the goods on me. I could only confirm the truth however, as I'm not the best liar, yet.

[The Atheist]

drinks-is single malt unfit for manliest, since it's too gentlemanly?

Too gentlemanly?

I blame jocky for lowering the tome of the Club, thus ending in questions like this. The manliest a man can be is to [B]be]/B] a gentleman, hence, no such thing as "too gentlemanly" is possible.

BEER-the manner of drinking is important. Single small can-open bottom with can opener and start sucking it up/down, lift can right side up and pop the top; single glug without the apple's ups and downs. Large can (16 gallon with flexible hose) (some manly assistance required unless..)-grip sides firmly in both hands. Stand on hands (hence the help for those less gorillic). Have spigot placed in mouth and open it. You can stop anytime you need to breathe. Return to upright position and prepare for your next sip. 25 seconds is the longest I've seen someone keg-stand. 1/2 shot Tuaca, 1/2 shot Kahlua, 1/2 shot Bailey's, full shot hot coffee (Cuban okay) and in minutes you're awake and ready to face the day!

Even I would like to hear the goods on me. I could only confirm the truth however, as I'm not the best liar, yet.

My apologies, but it seems as though you imbibe beer from metal containers of various sizes.

Such pastimes are unknown here, beer coming in glass bottles.

Sounds fascinating, though!

[jocky]

Too gentlemanly?

I blame jocky for lowering the tome of the Club

That is so unfair, it was not I that brought up Wales. Gentlemen, humbug

drinks-is single malt unfit for manliest, since it's too gentlemanly? No water desired-rusts the pipes. BEER-the manner of drinking is important. Single small can-open bottom with can opener and start sucking it up/down, lift can right side up and pop the top; single glug without the apple's ups and downs. Large can (16 gallon with flexible hose) (some manly assistance required unless..)-grip sides firmly in both hands. Stand on hands (hence the help for those less gorillic). Have spigot placed in mouth and open it. You can stop anytime you need to breathe. Return to upright position and prepare for your next sip. 25 seconds is the longest I've seen someone keg-stand. 1/2 shot Tuaca, 1/2 shot Kahlua, 1/2 shot Bailey's, full shot hot coffee (Cuban okay) and in minutes you're awake and ready to face the day!

Even I would like to hear the goods on me. I could only confirm the truth however, as I'm not the best liar, yet.

Gbrekken, that was a wonderful discourse on the finer points of getting wasted. The youth of Reno deserve to hear those words of wisdom, so as a favour to you I have posted it unabridged on your school website. One tincy wincy criticism which you may find helpful to your future career, I think you will find all the guys agree on. Never, but never mention Bailey's on a serious discussion on the art, or science of boozing. This can have unforseen and terrible repercussions. As to the urine extraction dont give it another thought as, if Jocky got a quid for every time he had been slagged mercilessly on this thread I would be richer than Bill Gates.

[The Atheist]

That is so unfair, it was not I that brought up Wales.

Ugh.

My ex-mother in law is Welsh.

If you ever wondered why Wales has that stupid dragon as a national symbol, wonder no more!

Ye ken I love Scotland!

[jocky]

Ugh.

My ex-mother in law is Welsh.

If you ever wondered why Wales has that stupid dragon as a national symbol, wonder no more!

Ye ken I love Scotland!

I ken you do Atheist, it is just the inhabitants your no so keen on. Nobody is listening are they, is there something wrong with Mick he has to go to Wales on holiday? You think you know your mates and out of the blue they let you down big time. What a paradox, the land of the beautiful Dylan Thomas and the ugliest women in the western world. As I have always said there is no accounting for taste.

To all you of a poetical bent, here is a couple of lines from Scotland's second best poet, William Topaz MacGonnagal. THE COO, Loosely translated as the cow. Ahem, The COO, The Coo looks so forlorner, standing there with a leg in each corner. Beat that.

[prendrelemick]

Nobody is listening are they, is there something wrong with Mick he has to go to Wales on holiday?

Suddenly my life seems sad!



Two words, Jocky. The Krankies! Aye, hang your head in shame. Or are they another Scottish institution Jocky will claim to be English, like haggis

[The Atheist]

I ken you do Atheist, it is just the inhabitants your no so keen on.

Nooooo!

Any race which can invent scotch has a special place in heaven.

In fact, I figured out some time ago that mouthwash is about 60% alcohol, which kills the germs. 15 ml @ 60%, I calculated that 25 ml @ 40% is close enough and just use scotch.

You can swallow it after to save flushing the green gunk down the drain - economy, saving the planet and taste good all at the same time!

What a paradox, the land of the beautiful Dylan Thomas and the ugliest women in the western world. As I have always said there is no accounting for taste.

You've met my ex-mother in law, haven't you?

Ah, Dylan the Thomas. Amazing how many giant talents never learnt to hold their drink.

To all you of a poetical bent, here is a couple of lines from Scotland's second best poet, William Topaz MacGonnagal. THE COO, Loosely translated as the cow. Ahem, The COO, The Coo looks so forlorner, standing there with a leg in each corner. Beat that.

Outstanding!

[jocky]

Nooooo!

Any race which can invent scotch has a special place in heaven.

In fact, I figured out some time ago that mouthwash is about 60% alcohol, which kills the germs. 15 ml @ 60%, I calculated that 25 ml @ 40% is close enough and just use scotch.

You can swallow it after to save flushing the green gunk down the drain - economy, saving the planet and taste good all at the same time!

Einstein would have killed to come up with that mind blowing formula, that relegates E=MC squared to kid's play. However, I hate to tell you that I tried it for a number of years and lost all my teeth, half my tongue and developed severe liver problems. The one consolation being that I have contributed to saving the planet.

Two words, Jocky. The Krankies! Aye, hang your head in shame.

My batman is at present winging his way to cold comfort farm to throw my guage at your feet. Here is a quick summary of his instructions, Time and Place: Scotch Corner at precisely 7.00 A.M. ( no show will result in humiliation and world wide publication ) Weapons: mutual exchange of insults , or chainsaws. Krankies indeed!

Is it safe to enter camp again? Have you boys finally come to your senses and run those coffee toting tarts out of here?
I’m off satiating our hunter gatherer instincts in search of meat, Wild Turkey and ale and what do I find upon my return? A cave ransacked by raucous, licentious bantering with a bunch of broads!

Aye Gilliatt, you have reminded me of that old song: When the going gets tough, the Texans get going, usually away from the sound of the guns.

[The Atheist]

Einstein would have killed to come up with that mind blowing formula, that relegates E=MC squared to kid's play.

There is much wisdom here.

In the end, what difference does it make what the speed of light is, or how relative things are?

Why is it we admire and revere people like Einstein and Newton? Gravity would still exist regardless of Newton's findings, but the inventors of beer and scotch are giants of mankind yet nobody knows their names!

[jocky]

NEWSFLASH : To whom it may concern, Engerland 9 Australia 18. The result of the England v New Zealand rugby league match will be broadcast in my next bulletin.

[The Atheist]

NEWSFLASH : To whom it may concern, Engerland 9 Australia 18. The result of the England v New Zealand rugby league match will be broadcast in my next bulletin.

Dinnae tell me ye follow the League?

I believe the Mother Country and ourselves are playing for the right to meet the dastardly Australians in the four-nations cup. Since only four nations play the game to more than schoolboy level, it's revenge for the four-nations World Cup we won from them last year.

World's toughest team sport. All-in brawling for 80 minutes. Why on earth isn't Scotland brilliant at it? Just go to Glasgie any Friday night, scoop up 13 blokes under 30, and there's your team!

[jocky]

ANOTHER NEWSFLASH : It is with a heavy heart I have to report that Engerland have beaten the world champions by 20 points to 12, and it is all your fault Atheist.

[jocky]

Dinnae tell me ye follow the League?

I believe the Mother Country and ourselves are playing for the right to meet the dastardly Australians in the four-nations cup. Since only four nations play the game to more than schoolboy level, it's revenge for the four-nations World Cup we won from them last year.

World's toughest team sport. All-in brawling for 80 minutes. Why on earth isn't Scotland brilliant at it? Just go to Glasgie any Friday night, scoop up 13 blokes under 30, and there's your team!

We were going to take it up, but we couldn't get anyone to remain sober for five minutes. It is not that tough, our ladies bowls team could have beaten that lot without breaking sweat. You realize a certain English individual, who shall remain nameless, has now got all the bragging rights. Can this day get any worse? Oh no, the wife has just ordered me to wash the dishes.