Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

[prendrelemick]

LostPrincess, your literary skills are peerless, with just two words you have managed to unhinge me. All is forgiven though, anyone capable of cleaning up this thread has my undying admiration. As for the Scotsman, Englishman and snake story, its not the one about the kick in the bollocks is it?

Which two words do you mean Jocky, English Gentleman or booze ready?

Is that the story involving the sporran and the trouser snake?

So many questions.

[jocky]

Oh no Prendrelemick, I am not falling for your devious Yorkshire ways. I tell the joke and Serious Cat bans me for life. Google The Scotsman, the Englishman and the Snake. Hit the top heading titled Sept 27 1997 and go to the gag titled Poultry Passions. I guarantee it will bring a tear to your eyes.

[kilted exile]

I am almost positive I have posted the joke you refer to previously in the joke thread without running afoul of serious cat.

[Nightshade]

Ahh but kilted that was in the days before serious cat moved into the spotlight wasnt it?

[jocky]

Kilted dont you think sleekit is a good Scottish term? Mmmm three minutes, I smell private messages.

[Niamh]

I am almost positive I have posted the joke you refer to previously in the joke thread without running afoul of serious cat.

If jocky wont tell, you should!
hehehe
Or just tell me later.

[The Atheist]

Just in case anyone misses the News thread where I also posted this, here's one to make you smile!

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news...ectid=10592004

[prendrelemick]

Ah yes, proof of womanhood test, very complicated. I think it involves fitting the hose onto a hoover whilst running a duster over the wainscoting.

[The Atheist]

Have you seen "her"?

Check this out. 100% of 3 kids reckoned it was a boy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-bqET22vEU

My vote goes to male pseudohermaphrodite.

[The Atheist]

I love early mornings.

It's the only benefit I ever saw to farming - getting up before the rest of the world and enjoying the peace & quiet, the birdsong, the cool air.

An amazing spring morning here.

[jocky]

If jocky wont tell, you should!
hehehe
Or just tell me later.

Am I missing something here?

[QUOTE=prendrelemick;762364]sorry Nightshade, it would take a long time, and I have to prepare to go into hiding, if we lose at the oval.
Jocky may have miscalculated a tad on this one, now I may go missing for a wee while, however I have had the good sense to put a hundred quid on England to beat the " filthy Aussie sheep stealers " after checking the weather forecast from now till Monday.

I love early mornings.

It's the only benefit I ever saw to farming - getting up before the rest of the world and enjoying the peace & quiet, the birdsong, the cool air.

An amazing spring morning here.

Athiest that takes me right back to my bird watching days. I was one of the few twitchers to see the Methusalem bird, it flew in ever decreasing circles till it disappeared up its own rectum. A sight to behold.

This may be a wee bit controversial, but what do us men look for in a woman? Hello darling I have just finished a twelve hour shift, Oh! your glass is empty, I will just top it up for you, wait I need to light your cigar. If you just hold on a second I will just put on my see though nightie after I have bedded the children and cleaned the house. Then I will make love to you like an animal, before I have to get up in the morning. Sounds good to me!

[Gilliatt Gurgle]

Hope you boys don’t mind an interloper wedgin his way in here but my throat is parched down here in Texas. Beggars can’t be choosers, but if you happen to have some Lone Star Beer, I’d sure love to soak my gizzard with a case or two. Yes it’s rot gut, but we don’t care much for taste down here cause there’s nothing left to taste with. Our buds have been fried on jalapenos and baked every summer in a Texas oven. Hell we’ll settle with castor oil and rubbing alcohol.

Well boys, it’s time I best be movin on. I got me a pair of Allison’s to straddle (engines that is) I suggest you turn up the volume!! – enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhORZ...eature=related

Gilliatt

[jocky]

Hope you boys don’t mind an interloper wedgin his way in here but my throat is parched down here in Texas. Beggars can’t be choosers, but if you happen to have some Lone Star Beer, I’d sure love to soak my gizzard with a case or two. Yes it’s rot gut, but we don’t care much for taste down here cause there’s nothing left to taste with. Our buds have been fried on jalapenos and baked every summer in a Texas oven. Hell we’ll settle with castor oil and rubbing alcohol.

Well boys, it’s time I best be movin on. I got me a pair of Allison’s to straddle (engines that is) I suggest you turn up the volume!! – enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhORZ...eature=related

Gilliatt

And your point is? Dont come the jalapenos with us, a mature civilisation with centuries of history behind us and Jaffa Cakes. And I saw that film with Kris Krisstoferson " Freedoms just another word for nothing left, nothing left to lose" Just a little point are you cowboys as hard as Ben Stiller?

[LostPrincess13]

Hello everyone! I've been trying to find the joke but I couldn't find it. I think it goes something like why the Scottish don't have snakes in Scotland. The Scot replied, "We do! We have the English!". LOL!
Thank you for the compliment Mr. Jocky, you're too kind.

[Nightshade]

sorry Nightshade, it would take a long time, and I have to prepare to go into hiding, if we lose at the oval.

Jocky may have miscalculated a tad on this one, now I may go missing for a wee while, however I have had the good sense to put a hundred quid on England to beat the " filthy Aussie sheep stealers " after checking the weather forecast from now till Monday.

Well I gather something momentus happened , we were stuck in traffic listening to Radio 2 when they inturrpeed the traffic report ( THEY NEVER DO THAT!!) To shout about it play some music and miraculously my mum was suddenly no longer as annoyed with the traffic jam.

But what was it that happened? THAT is what I need to know!