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Thread: The Love Elapsed in Time

  1. #1
    Registered User Amylian's Avatar
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    The Love Elapsed in Time

    Hey,

    I've been writing poetry these past days; it must be something. An inner expression that I think will never find its way without a peom.


    The Love Elapsed in Time
    By
    Ali Makki


    The love elapsed in time hath put her to eternal sleep,
    Lamenting, she wondered in darkness, her reality still seeps.
    Holy, his devious heart slithered away like a poisonous snake,
    Oh, sacred beauty, sleeping eternally, you are still to wake.

    The love elapsed in time hath put her to eternal sleep,
    Lamenting, she wondered in darkness, her reality still seeps.
    Divine Atonement, he struggled to reach her not,
    Oh, sacred beauty, what left in him that is not?

    The love elapsed in time hath put her to eternal sleep,
    Lamenting, she wondered in darkness, her reality still seeps.
    Heaven, speak his malevolent soul and away put the Red Apple,
    Oh, sacred beauty, far, he is, come, he will not, so sleep in thy chapel.

    The love elapsed in time hath put her to eternal sleep,
    Lamenting, she wondered in darkness, her reality still seeps.
    Marvelous Bliss, Hath he lost ecstasy in that Path of Life
    That breathes unto him his burning desire? What causes this strife?

    The love elapsed in time hath put her to eternal sleep,
    Lamenting, she wondered in darkness, her reality still seeps.
    God, speak to him, enlighten him, beauty such as that away will fade,
    Only that which he ne’er loved, in return, and hated,
    Only that will stay, the inner beauty that his eyes, before, never laid.


    Regards,
    Amylian AKA Ali Makki
    Last edited by Amylian; 08-17-2009 at 12:21 PM.


    "To die knowing you were honest with yourself is sure worth it." Ali Makki

    My latest poems:
    The Eve of Polyxena
    He Who Saw the Deep

  2. #2
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Wonderful use of repeating lines! I thought it quite refreshing!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  3. #3
    Registered User Amylian's Avatar
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    Thank you for this kind comment!!!

    Well, the intention of this poem is to create somehow a conflict between the domain of males' thoughts and the females' too. So I thought repeating the first lines to stress on the initiative of sleeping beauty, of love, of things that seem so magical and out of reach, a fantasy world in which girls romanticize love way too much. As the other way around, the third and fourth lines in each stanza seem to put an effort to guide the male into his senses, as if God himself trying desperately to guide Man into the right path, as if regretting creating such a sinful creature...

    Regards,
    Amylian AKA Ali Makki

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