I'm a man without any sexual identity crises and I still found Jane Eyre a great read.
Having that said, the OP is hilarious, and the last sentence of it clearly shows that it was for kicks and not actually serious, come on, get a sense of humour, people!
As for the 2005 "There are more illiterate people in the world today than in any other time in history" statement: the reverse is true, of course - it's just that now the trolls have a voice (cf. youtube comments).


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