Anyone for Coffee? (no boys allowed)

[Eugenie]

HAPPY ALMOST ANNIVERSARY SHALOT! I mean that. You will think of something, you have buckets of brains. (that sounds gross, but I mean it in the best possible way

Juniper, I am very sorry that happened to you.
And thankyou for the support guys, because , honestly I have carried guilt around for a while about quitting. I felt I had the word LOSER on my forehead. I just could not bear that.

Oh, Virgil, are you one of those nice feely touchy fellows like Alan Alda who are good to women and have a decided feminine side? or is that in fact not your real picture with the doggie, are you in fact a stunning looking female model who cannot resist sharing with the girls?
come on now, the truth.

[BienvenuJDC]

I waitressed right out of highschool for a little while in a restaurant that was owned by my friend's family. They had this one uncle, Saleem, who was a huge pervert. One day I was plugging in the vaccuum to clean up at the end of the day, and he came out and stood about two inches away from me. I was so uncomfortable that I blurted out some random facts about electricity in citrus fruit (whenever I'm nervous I blurt out some stupid thing that I learned and thought was interesting). He actually picked up the cord for the vaccuum and said "where should we plug this into you?" My brain was like "He can't possibly be asking me which part of my body I want him to insert the vaccuum cord." I was saved by one of the younger cousins coming out of the kitchen. The way he jumped away from me, I knew that he knew that what he was doing was wrong. One other time he put his finger right on the collar of my shirt and dragged it down between my breasts. I kicked him in the shin, hard. He probably had a huge bruise. He was a pretty creepy guy. I actually feel nauseous when I think of him.

I'm going to be like Virgil here...I've gotta chime in and say, JW...you hit the wrong target! I've always been a little too shy to say even the respectful things to women, but I could never imagine saying something disrespectful. ...and to TOUCH...that was never something that I did until my WIFE said it was fine. (yeah...I'm old fashioned!!) There are only two girls that I have ever called 'Baby'...one is 5 (and tells me that she's not a baby...at which I tell her that she will always be my baby) and the other is almost 3....and she just giggles because she's getting attention).

But the problem is....that too many 'girls' (and I say girls, because they are often acting like teenage girls)...just giggle because some creep of a guy is giving them attention. If it didn't work for them...they wouldn't do it. The 'nice' guys never get anywhere........and yet they continue to be nice anyway. I'm trying to teach my girls how a lady is to be treated by a man. I hope that they will understand, and expect nothing less.

I'd better just take my coffee to go...I don't want to wear out any welcome that I might have.

[papayahed]

Really? That's the problem? So no blame for the guys? It seems to me that if we do a root cause analysis the problem actually seems to be with the upbrining of the men who think they can act and do such things?

[Niamh]

men like that make me go

Oh another note... guess who kissed a really nice guy at the weekend!

[BienvenuJDC]

Really? That's the problem? So no blame for the guys? It seems to me that if we do a root cause analysis the problem actually seems to be with the upbrining of the men who think they can act and do such things?

The guys are jerks... Every time... There is no excuse... They are wrong... I too...at times...am wrong too!

Please don't be so defensive. I wasn't trying to point any blame on the ladies. It's cause and effect...

[papayahed]

But the problem is....that too many 'girls' (and I say girls, because they are often acting like teenage girls)...just giggle because some creep of a guy is giving them attention. If it didn't work for them...they wouldn't do it.

Really? That's the problem? So no blame for the guys? It seems to me that if we do a root cause analysis the problem actually seems to be with the upbrining of the men who think they can act and do such things?

The guys are jerks... Every time... There is no excuse... They are wrong... I too...at times...am wrong too!

Please don't be so defensive. I wasn't trying to point any blame on the ladies. It's cause and effect...

I'm really not being defensive I'm just pointing out the flaw in your first statement. I've bolded the parts that lead me to believe you were in fact blaming the girls. I apologize if I've misread.

[BienvenuJDC]

I'm really not being defensive I'm just pointing out the flaw in your first statement. I've bolded the parts that lead me to believe you were in fact blaming the girls. I apologize if I've misread.

Sorry...maybe I should have said that one of the problems is...

Coming from a 'nice' guy...I wasn't pointing the blame at the girls so much, but I really can't stand the egotistical guys that stole all the affections...

[Sapphire]

I was watching TV tonight with 2 of my (male) roommates. They put a terrible program on: Take Me Out. It is a dating program - taking it low as one might go. Or well... I bet they can go lower but that would mean going underneath the plumbing system!

The idea is this: take 30 women and one (male) presenter. These women are there to criticize one man - he's standing in front of them. There are 3 rounds:
1 - Looks
The guy says his name, age and where he's from. The women now get 5 seconds to either approve or disapprove. If they disapprove, it means they're out of the game. I have let my roommates tell me that of the 30 women usually about 20 are gone at the end of this round. Sometimes all women bail out! This means, the guy is send home and the next one can be brought in...
Imagine: you're a guy, standing in front of 30 women and only on your appearance 20 of them push a red button which makes an annoying noise and shows everybody that you're not good enough in their eyes. You have to be quite a man to be able to take that!
2 - Own presentation
The guy presents himself in 30 seconds. Either a home-video or a show on the spot... during this presentation, the women can still hit that button to disapprove.
Imagine: you're a guy and you tell that you like romantic dinners with candle light. In the episode I was watching, 5 girls disapproved - leaving 2 girls...
3 - Presentation by mother/friend
A 30 seconds video, shot by the mother or a friend of the guy.
END
If in the end there is a girl left who approves (yes, this does happen sometimes), they can leave the studio to go on a date. The show will not follow up on this. If more than one girl is left, the boy gets his pick - he may ask only one question. Usually though, there are no girls left...

Now I was commenting on this program and forcing my roommates to switch channels. I thought it was degrading, but in their opinion any guy who dared to stand up there was a "champ" and needed cheering, even if he could not hear it Yeah, my roommates are sweethearts
They also mentioned something else, which got me thinking. They said that this program could never have been made the other way around. Letting a girl enter and be judged by 30 guys?! That would have really made the papers - people would call about women discrimination etc. Even though the girl would stand there out of her own free will, just as the guys are now.

I feel like they might be right. Not now anymore, as the program already exists in this format so it can not be called discrimination anymore to switch the places. But I am pretty sure people might have looked at it that way if a group of guys was criticising a girl...
We do have an other program though, called "Pretty Smart". In this program 3 teams of 2 girls answer questions like "How long did the 100yrs war last" and "Where was the Vietnam War fought". 3 Teams of 2 guys have to guess which answer the girls are gonna give... I do not think anybody has called it offensive so far. I would like to see that program the other way around too, but I do not think that will ever happen... Or a "Beauty and the Nerd" with girls as Nerds and guys as Beauties...

[Nightshade]

A couple of things, I almost hit a guy in the street this morning. There I am walking back from the shop smiling in aticipation to myself ( about? for? yo grammar police!!)) my home made hommous . The street is deserted, right , except for me and this guy walking towards me and suddenly jsut as he walks past me he does this slight lean towards me sniffs and goes no english equivlent its a muslim thing to say mashallah sort of God does goood work type thing.
so he leans over sniffs and goes Masallah Niiiiiiiiiiiice.
I was stunned. I mean who goes round sniffing people? but I am most proud of the fact I did not wack him upside the head as my flatmate puts it. I kept walking and breathing.
( and my hommous was very nice! except it wasnt hoummus it was baba Ganoush- aubergine and tahini dip)

second thing a question. My flat mate sort of conned me into ironing her ball gown this evening - nightmare task, and when I (after an hour) finally concluded that flat ironing it just wasnt going to work she was going to apply direct hottest temperature iron ( luckily i stopped her an dsaved the dress) but in the end I ended up rubbing the dress after she was weraing it and pointing a hairdrier at it to smooth out the wrinkles.

Now I can iron most things but what the hell are you *supposed* to do with slinky ball dress things?

[Niamh]

about you hummous.
and thats hillarious! hahaha!
I was walking through connelly station once and some guy commented on my "nice" walk.

[Weisinheimer]

Wouldn't it be in anticipation of your hummus?
I have no clue about the ball dress. I thought people just took things like that to the cleaners. I pretty much suck at ironing in general.

[Niamh]

but it hadnt been made yet so it would be more along hte lines of about hte hummous she was going to make... surely?

[Nightshade]

see this is why I leave grammar to the experts !

[Niamh]

*drops crate of whiskey on table* Irish coffees anyone?

[Sapphire]

Hmmm.... can't say no to that! Even though it is lunch time