I should hope that parents have taught their daughters better than to think like that, and to passively accept that as a message.
If you read closely enough, you'll find that Meyer says (not explicitly, of course) that a real person like Edward is not possible. She credits his being "so perfect" to a combination of factors that simply aren't possible, that is,
1) his habits, manners and speech are those one would find in a person of another time (100 years ago or whatever it may be)
2) his ability to use hindsight and his self-control are characteristics of someone much older than 17
3) he's obsessive and passionate and ridiculous like a teenager
4) he has all sorts of impossible physical abilities.
He's an impossible being, even if you disregard the vampire stuff, and I think Meyer makes this clear, so to say that the "message" is that girls should wait around for some old guy to take advantage of them is, to my mind, a little far-fetched.
Admittedly, these books are being read by girls who I think are too young to be reading all the sex stuff.
Though, I'm confused on one part- what exactly about Bella and/or her attitude made you think rape? Just curious
