Is is ok for a grown man to cry?

[librarius_qui]

I don't know what I think about this thread...

Of course it's perfectly acceptable and normal for men to cry, but I won't lie- I have no idea what to do with myself when I see a man crying. If a woman cries, it's easy- you put your arms around her. But I'm lost when I see a man cry.

I see it at work, when men have pet's that are sick or if they've just lost a pet, and it's so sad, to see a man cry when his dog dies. It absolutely breaks my heart.

A man cries with
1. beautiful scenes, moments, for instance: a father, when he's told his child was born
2. releef situations he feels he can't do anything about, for instance: a father, when he's told his child was born
3. extreme pain (either physical or psychological/spiritual)

Crying for a man has a lot to do with catarsis.

It's different from women. Men don't stop to cry. Seldom do we cry because of thoughts or feelings. A woman can simply cry, and it's easy for a man, around to understand it, and support her, because we know you cry.

Men get harder and harder, as we grow up. As children, many of us were crying-babies. We cried when we didn't like something, when we were hungry, when we wanted a toy mom said: "no, you'll have to wait for Christmas".

As we grow up, we find out that crying doesn't solve our problems, so, we go in search of something that will solve. (However, we neglect the need of crying, so, grown-up men know they need moments in his daily life to let emotions flow; even if not through tears. And, usually, alone, because of manhood pride.)

Women have different way of thinking. Because you have a different physiology. Your body bleed ... It's scary! When a man bleeds, he faints! It isn't in man's nature to bleed.

So, when a man cries, there's nothing anyone can do about it, but himself. There's no way of supporting it, because he doens't want to be supported, he's just in face of an emotion (so, it's relieef), or a trouble (and so, it's a moment of change ways, or accept defeat), and it's something of himself.

Therefore, women shouldn't worry about it.

That's what I think.


[Aw, forgot that: and we (human beings) also cry of fear.]


Libri#

[Neo_Sephiroth]

Alright, man...I admit. I cried once or twice. But I wasn't bawling. It was just a few drops of tears...

[librarius_qui]

Oh, I forgot this, too: men cry in compassion for other people's suffering. Jesus, the one considered messiah by "half" this planet, cried, when he saw a friend of his crying.

[Virgil]

yeah. I have no problem with my hubby crying. Most of the time it's my fault anyway because I made him cry.

What the heck do you do to the poor guy, beat him with a stick?

[Dori]

Oh, I forgot this, too: men cry in compassion for other people's suffering. Jesus, the one considered messiah by "half" this planet, cried, when he saw a friend of his crying.

(Oh, 'tis true, 'tis true.)

[Emil Miller]

What the heck do you do to the poor guy, beat him with a stick?

I hate to think what she does to him Virgil, but I know for a fact that she wears Doc Marten boots.

[SleepyWitch]

What the heck do you do to the poor guy, beat him with a stick?

nah, I don't resort to such lowly methods. Psychological cruelty usually does the trick Poor hubby.

[Nightshade]

Not read through the whole thread, so as usua; I may end up repeating what has already been said.

There are times and places where a man can cry, but in general in public isnt one of them (except for at sporting events). A man has to be solid & dependable, a shoulder for women to cry on but not a source of crying himself - except when alone

Ok I saw this and even though its been a few days since it was posted ( i was away but kind of not!) I have to say - and I need to point out that you are unfortunate to have posted this in one of those rare times when my rampant inner feminist is on the loose! So ..

WHAT!!!!??? personally i think noone should cry in public, its just wrong and awkward and yeah... that was sexist *skowl*

[jhonerliz]

Its ok for me for the men to cry. Men who cry are courageous. They are not afraid to show what they really feel.
My husband do cry.
I also saw my twin brother crying.
I already saw many men crying and it doesn't affects their masculinity. In fact, it leads to more understanding about what or how they feel in a certain situation.

[librarius_qui]

Men who cry are courageous. They are not afraid to show what they really feel.

I don't quite agree with it.

A man (actually noone thinks) doesn't think about it when he cries. He cries, and that's all.

To hide tears is normal. (& Not only to men ...) There are moments to cry. A wife at his side interfeers less than someone else. It isn't common for a man to cry in the middle of his friends. Unless someone's just died, or something.

However, women are more sensitive to pain. But this isn't the matter in this thread, anyway.~

[manolia]

I do not like public display of emotion in general (from men and women equally). Especially grief. It is something very personal to me.

[master chief]

crying is for the children... soldiers dont cry...

[Janine]

Quote by Chava

I have seen so many men cry, and never thought it a poor thing. Anyone who cries will have reason to do so, and I believe that connectivity with ones emotions is a valuable thing. How many times have we not been struck by something and wished that tears would roll down our cheeks instead of clutch at our throats and flood us with unreleasable sadness?

I fully agree with this, Chava. Sadness turned inward becomes depression. Women who cry are more likely to divert long periods of depression. Men should take this as an example. They keep everything bottled-up inside and they often harbor resentment or depression. I feel a man who does break down and shed tears occasionally, when the occasion calls for it, such as a death or other dire reasons, is a much healthier individual and more secure for the fact that crying, does not embarrass them. If God didn't wish men to cry, he would have eliminated their tear ducts! Geez, I too, wonder why we even have a thread dedicated to men's crying...it is rather humorous to me.

[Virgil]

Whatever your opinion on whether men should cry in public, can we at least stop the pop psychiatry? There is no evidence that holding back emotion publically leads to mental illness. Mental illness is a chemical problem in the brain. It is not this silly "if I hold emotions I will go crazy" canard. If this were the case, then why are not millions of men that do not publically cry mentally ill? Why am I not mentally ill? (No, despite what some might think I'm not ) Why is my mother, who is a very publically emotional person, on depression medication? By this logic, would Italians, who are probably more openly emotional, less inclined to mental illness than say, Scandinavians, who by stereotype are supposed to be less emotional in public (though I admit I don't know that from personal experience)? Show me the statistics.

And even though a man or woman does not publically display sobbing, doesn't mean they don't let that emotion out in private.

Let's stop with the pop psychiatry.

[librarius_qui]

Let's stop with the pop psychiatry.

Whatta ye want from us, Virge??! We're all pop here! hahaha! My graduation's in Latin Language & Literature!