Buying through this banner helps support the forum!
Page 9 of 11 FirstFirst ... 4567891011 LastLast
Results 121 to 135 of 157

Thread: A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum

  1. #121
    now then ;)
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    a green island
    Posts
    3,865
    Blog Entries
    100
    Ok, so the town I am in just now has a reasonable mennonite population in the surrounding areas. Also as some of you know I am the recieving/warehouse manager for a retail store & I am in charge of deliveries coming into the store.

    Today, a mennonite hooked his horse and buggy up to the railing beside the warehouse truck doors. I had to go searching through the store for the guy to move it so the truck could get in.
    There once was a scotsman named Drew
    Who put too much wine in his stew
    He felt a bit drunk
    And fell off his bunk
    And landed smack into his shoe
    ~(C) Ms Niamh Anne King

  2. #122
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    20,354
    Blog Entries
    248
    Quote Originally Posted by kilted exile View Post
    Ok, so the town I am in just now has a reasonable mennonite population in the surrounding areas. Also as some of you know I am the recieving/warehouse manager for a retail store & I am in charge of deliveries coming into the store.

    Today, a mennonite hooked his horse and buggy up to the railing beside the warehouse truck doors. I had to go searching through the store for the guy to move it so the truck could get in.
    That is funny. If only it had happened in New York, then wow, I would have had tears rolling down my cheeks from laughing.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  3. #123
    Two plus two is CHICKEN!! Weisinheimer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
    Posts
    1,764
    Blog Entries
    5
    Quote Originally Posted by kilted exile View Post
    Ok, so the town I am in just now has a reasonable mennonite population in the surrounding areas. Also as some of you know I am the recieving/warehouse manager for a retail store & I am in charge of deliveries coming into the store.

    Today, a mennonite hooked his horse and buggy up to the railing beside the warehouse truck doors. I had to go searching through the store for the guy to move it so the truck could get in.
    That's great.
    Calvin: You can’t just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.

    Hobbes: What mood is that?

    Calvin: Last-minute panic.

  4. #124
    Super papayahed's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    17,056
    ok, so ya'll know how I think this is a podunk town, right? Well this afternoon I went to Target to get some school supplies. They really didn't have much and what they did have was pretty crappy (All I wanted for pete's sake was a binder, loose leaf paper, and notecards). I was driving home thinking what a crappy town I live in when I got pulled over by Barney Fife. I was pulled over because my yearly inspection sticker was expired. Which I realize is a valid reason to pull me over, but I was still cranky from the dismal shopping excursion. However, the officer (and I use the term loosy) made me get out of my car and stand infront of his where the camera could see me. He told me why he pulled me over and asked for the usual. I got all the paperwork for him and he went to his car to write the ticket I started to walk back to my car and he told me I had to stay infront of his car on camera. WTF??? you mean I'm suppossed to stand in the street infront of a police car? while the jack rabbit writes my ticket inside his car???

    I was standing there like a jack *** so I waved to the camera and did a little dance, after that I started to get annoyed then really mad. I've gotten countless tickets in at least 5 states and never had I had to stand in front of the car like that. The officer me it was for his protection, what if i had a weapon in the car? However, after checking my license, registration, and insurance and finding everything in order and no criminal record whatsoever wouldn't it be a safe bet that I was not going to pull out a gun over a piddly inspection ticket??

    I'm sure the officer wasn't to pleased with me since I was pretty much laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, I was pretty close to calling him the p word.

    Now back to the ticket - My inspection tag expired last august. It has to be renewed every year for $10. Heaven knows how much this ticket is going to cost and I have no good reason for not renewing it. Do I have a subconcsious need to interact with the police? But that can't be I just had the police out to work...hmmmm.
    Do, or do not. There is no try. - Yoda


  5. #125
    solid motherhubbard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    3,574
    Blog Entries
    157
    Papaya, I think you should try doing all of your driving in a push up and low cut shirt!

  6. #126
    deus ex machina Shalot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Down in the Valley
    Posts
    7,125
    Blog Entries
    106
    Quote Originally Posted by papayahed View Post
    ok, so ya'll know how I think this is a podunk town, right? Well this afternoon I went to Target to get some school supplies. They really didn't have much and what they did have was pretty crappy (All I wanted for pete's sake was a binder, loose leaf paper, and notecards). I was driving home thinking what a crappy town I live in when I got pulled over by Barney Fife. I was pulled over because my yearly inspection sticker was expired. Which I realize is a valid reason to pull me over, but I was still cranky from the dismal shopping excursion. However, the officer (and I use the term loosy) made me get out of my car and stand infront of his where the camera could see me. He told me why he pulled me over and asked for the usual. I got all the paperwork for him and he went to his car to write the ticket I started to walk back to my car and he told me I had to stay infront of his car on camera. WTF??? you mean I'm suppossed to stand in the street infront of a police car? while the jack rabbit writes my ticket inside his car???

    I was standing there like a jack *** so I waved to the camera and did a little dance, after that I started to get annoyed then really mad. I've gotten countless tickets in at least 5 states and never had I had to stand in front of the car like that. The officer me it was for his protection, what if i had a weapon in the car? However, after checking my license, registration, and insurance and finding everything in order and no criminal record whatsoever wouldn't it be a safe bet that I was not going to pull out a gun over a piddly inspection ticket??

    I'm sure the officer wasn't to pleased with me since I was pretty much laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, I was pretty close to calling him the p word.

    Now back to the ticket - My inspection tag expired last august. It has to be renewed every year for $10. Heaven knows how much this ticket is going to cost and I have no good reason for not renewing it. Do I have a subconcsious need to interact with the police? But that can't be I just had the police out to work...hmmmm.

    Oh, that is hilarious. I'm going to have to agree with you on the P-bomb there - geezus! Special Officer Doofy on Patrol! Was his badge a yellow construction paper star?
    "...if you weren't smart enough to get a pedophile in a dress to put a small amount of water on the child’s forehead, then what the eff did you think was going to happen?

  7. #127
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Marino, Dublin, Ireland
    Posts
    14,243
    Blog Entries
    118

    Radar for weirdos and strange conversations...

    Okay so i went away for the weekend with my friends to Dundalk. I spent a year and a half there in college and lived there on two other occasions with Archaeology, so it was a real nostalgia trip!
    So get this right...its the end of the pub crawl and we went back to the hotel for last orders. I have a nasty habit called smoking, and on the two occasions i went out to the smoking area, i returned to my friends laughing. Why? Because as usual i attract the weirdos.
    Smoke break no 1. Went out to smoking area and some guy comes over to me ands goes "Hello. I'm studying to be a psychiatrist and i'm focusing on people beween the ages of 15 and 20 who have problems. I reckon you probably have problems." My response in my head was 'wtf?', my response aloud was..."Well i'm sorry but i'm twenty six." He stared down at me shocked and went "you're twenty six?" i went "yes". He responded with "well then you definitely have problems" and walked off?????? I mean what the hell???
    Smoke break no.2. Went out to smoking area and there was this group of forty somethings laughing and joking. One of the blokes turns around to me and out of nowhere starts to tell me that one of the women doesnt smoke and that she is only outside to fart. He then started asking me if i fart??? Like hello!!!!! wtf! The to top it all off, one of his friends turns around to me and goes. "you're french arent ya?" I was like "no...i'm irish. I'm from dublin."
    "really i though you were french." I asked her why she thought that (especially seeing as a dublin accent is a dead give away that i'm NOT french) and she told me i 'looked' french? The she went "But the bloke you are with inside, he french though isnt he?" I looked at her trying not to laugh and replied... "Eh no. He is also a dubliner." Lets just say i didnt go back to the smoking area after that! lol!
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

  8. #128
    hmm...that's strange alright. But hey, on the upside, at least people were making communication. For that reason alone, I think I'll take up smoking. I bet it'll make me appear relaxed and...smokey, so to speak - a hazy mysteriousness, after I get over the initial coughing and fuming. - I'll practice in a far away field first. Yeah, I'll look like Mrs Robinson in the graduate, after you make the necessary changes.

    It's a pity to see how, when people are so eager to break the ice, they can be so clumsy and even stumble onto an unintended insult. I suppose laughter is the best response, the only humane one, otherwise you'd be inflicting cigarette burns!

  9. #129
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Marino, Dublin, Ireland
    Posts
    14,243
    Blog Entries
    118
    Well the "problems" guy had me in stitches when i went back inside. Seriously. If that was a chat up line it was the worst one i have ever heard. What did he expect me to tell him my problems so he could comfort me?
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

  10. #130
    it's funny, you say: wtf? response in your head, and then, well i'm sorry, but i'm 26. lol - reminds me of the quote i've heard attributed to Freud, 'the moment between the impulse and the act, civilization is born' - though I don't think i've remembered that accurately.

  11. #131
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Marino, Dublin, Ireland
    Posts
    14,243
    Blog Entries
    118
    Well i assumed he (being only about 21) thought i was somewhere in the 15-20 age group so i wanted to let him down. The Minute he heard what age i was and made his little comment he was gone. Alas! i was probably too old for him.
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

  12. #132
    weer mijn koekjestrommel Schokokeks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    blub blub blub!
    Posts
    1,765
    Thanx for sharing those episodes, Niamh, that made my day

    But I think all these people were really very desperate to pay you a compliment for (a) looking as fabulous as normally only 20-year-olds can, and (b) being stylishly dressed, which in popular opinion the French are often credited with .

    Quote Originally Posted by Niamh View Post
    I have a nasty habit called smoking, and on the two occasions i went out to the smoking area, i returned to my friends laughing. Why? Because as usual i attract the weirdos.
    My conclusion would be that obviously only weird people smoke .
    Last edited by Schokokeks; 02-15-2009 at 05:40 PM.
    "Where mind meets matter, both should woo!"
    Currently reading:
    * Paradise Lost by John Milton

  13. #133
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Marino, Dublin, Ireland
    Posts
    14,243
    Blog Entries
    118
    Quote Originally Posted by Schokokeks View Post
    Thanx for sharing those episodes, Niamh, that made my day

    But I think all these people were really very desperate to pay you a compliment for (a) looking as fabulous as normally only 20-year-olds can, and (b) being stylishly dressed, which in popular opinion the French are often credited with .
    cheers!

    My conclusion would be that obviously only weird people smoke .
    Hey i know i'm weird. I'll admit that!
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

  14. #134
    Registered User Joreads's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    1,254
    Blog Entries
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by Niamh View Post
    Well i assumed he (being only about 21) thought i was somewhere in the 15-20 age group so i wanted to let him down. The Minute he heard what age i was and made his little comment he was gone. Alas! i was probably too old for him.
    No not old to mature - it is all in the spin Niamh
    I am back............................

  15. #135
    Ditsy Pixie Niamh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Marino, Dublin, Ireland
    Posts
    14,243
    Blog Entries
    118
    Quote Originally Posted by Joreads View Post
    No not old to mature - it is all in the spin Niamh
    "Come away O human child!To the waters of the wild, With a faery hand in hand, For the worlds more full of weeping than you can understand."
    W.B.Yeats

    "If it looks like a Dwarf and smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf (or a latrine wearing dungarees)"
    Artemins Fowl and the Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer


    my poems-please comment Forum Rules

Page 9 of 11 FirstFirst ... 4567891011 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Forum members show great promise
    By baddad in forum General Literature
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 05-11-2010, 03:13 PM
  2. How many forum members does it take...
    By Koa in forum General Chat
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 05-15-2008, 12:17 AM
  3. New Forum Software Issues
    By Admin in forum The Literature Network
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 12-02-2003, 01:31 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •