I’ve just realized what I missed.
She’s amazing, her smile blissful as ever, her laugh joyful as can be. She’s prettier than any girl I have ever met, she’s polite but at the same time amusing, funny but at the same time gorgeous. She had a thing for me, but I always tried to find the bad in her, even though it’s hard to uncover. She had feelings for me but I ignored her, they said she couldn’t stop talking about me but I didn’t notice her, she asked me out once, twice but I always found an excuse, I’m with my friends, I’m busy maybe next week.
She adored me; she never gave up until she had it with me, she couldn’t go on. I broke her heart. They told me she cried, for hours and days. But me, I didn’t care she’s just another normal girl, nothing unusual, that there are many girls out there like her.
A year and half have past; and I live on the other side of the world. We’re still friends, really good friends. She tells me everything about her and her personal life, if she likes someone, if someone gets on her nerves or if she feels someone has stolen her heart. She shares her secrets with me, even the deep ones that she’s scared to share with the rest of the world, if there’s something on her mind that she’s not sure about she’ll pour it all out and we’ll discuss it.
Not a long time ago she told me about this guy, he’s nineteen and he and he studies in a university at the states. She thinks she’s in love with him, and that caved my heart, even though I know there’s no chance we will ever be together. I feel like I’ve missed something, that there’s a blank part across my heart that her name was meant to be engraved on. Where ever she goes, no matter what will happen I will always remember her.
I’m afraid to tell her what I think… she’ll think I’m a freak, and even if I do tell her. What will happen? I’ll probably never see her again so what’s the point? I’m afraid that what we have right now, that special friendly bond will shatter, and that it will never be the same again. I feel that what we have is the best memory of her that I can get; at least I talk to her once in a while, and feel her soft voice brushing against my ear.
I’ve just noticed how unique she is, how she’s one of a kind, what I’ve missed.
She’s special, she’s great, she’s honest, she’s fun, and she’s everything a girl should be. I wont forgive myself for that mistake I made, for that little bit of cockiness that made me think I’m too good for.
But I’ve just realized she’s way out of my league.
I think I’ve learnt my lesson, and if ever I’ll come across someone who is half as great as she is, I’ll know never again to trust me ego.
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