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Thread: Form Poem Contest

  1. #496
    Registered User windblown's Avatar
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    Hey, you are swift - two entries on the first day already, and really good ones. But please make my task harder and come up with some more of those rondeaus.

  2. #497
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Wasted Days and Wasted Nights, Once


    The years I wasted bemoaning fate,
    Until I realized, almost too late,
    A diamond never really shines
    Until it is cut, and then it almost blinds
    The years I wasted, just contemplate...

    With voluminous tongue I could relate
    The many outrages of fickle fate—
    But fate it seems comes in different kinds…
    (The years I wasted!)

    Anger and pain will finally themselves sate,
    And sorrow will have its filled-up plate;
    But a single sunbeam always reminds
    Me to not shut down my blinds…
    The time I saved is twice as great!
    (The years I wasted!)

    Pendragon
    © Saturday, October 11, 2008
    Last edited by Pendragon; 10-15-2008 at 12:45 AM. Reason: Fitting form
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  3. #498
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    Spare the gestures. Take my golden dream.
    Hear the sound of hearts that scream?
    I beg, don’t take what’s mine from me,
    Leave a thousand dreams in the debris,
    Watch our riches flow downstream.

    I found the gold-a rich seam
    Just yearning to be mined-to gleam;
    You, instead, slashed the artery.
    Spare the gestures.

    Don’t you mind your recurring theme?
    That you are just what you seem?
    Pirate, dreamthief, by your decree
    You alone will turn the key.
    Night is nigh in your regime.
    Spare the gestures.
    Last edited by qimissung; 02-08-2009 at 10:49 PM.
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

  4. #499
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    Hey Pendragon, I really like your poem. It is so easy to regret . But it is one of those childish things we must put away if we are to move on.
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

  5. #500
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    Congratulations, Windblown! Fifth made a good choice.

  6. #501
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Hey, all these poems, (including the sample) have 14 not 13 lines! Great poetry form anyway and wonderful answers to it. Your choice may be hard!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  7. #502
    Registered User windblown's Avatar
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    Drat, Dragon, you found me out. I must confess I'm hopeless with numbers and I simply did not check the way the lines are counted in a rondeau. So in my sample poem I actually forgot a line (I've mended that now). Here then, to make confusion complete, are the rules again in prose:
    - A rondeau has thirteen lines plus the rentrement or refrain that picks up the first part
    of the first line and inserts it at the end of the second and third stanzas.
    - Ideally it is in iambic tetrameter or pentameter, but I think we can leave this
    optional.

    Of course, the fault is mine and all the really fantastic rondeaus minus a line that you sent in have the same chances to win this contest as any that will follow with the correct line count. Indeed, the choice is hard already, but please make it harder still by posting more of the same high standard.

  8. #503
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    “Rondough”

    We have no cash, that much we know.
    The well-heeled world may pump and crow
    and show us shoes that we can't buy.
    We seek our values in the sky
    which banks the sun’s rich golden glow.

    We're truly poor, but profits grow
    with fluid springs and falling snow.
    Wealth grows on trees, so it’s a lie
    we have no cash.

    Why can't we be just like Thoreau
    and live near a pond or river’s flow?
    With Nature’s help our souls could try
    to watch the birds and seasons fly.
    But we won't move, and we can't go.
    We have no cash.

  9. #504
    Registered User windblown's Avatar
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    There's still a week to go. So send in your rondeaux.

  10. #505
    Registered User windblown's Avatar
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    The contest is now closed for entries. It will be hard work to choose the winner, so leave me some time, please.

  11. #506
    Registered User windblown's Avatar
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    This was a very hard choice indeed. Five rondeaux of great beauty and depth:

    alakungfu: What a night you describe! A Mexican fiesta full of colour and gloom.

    autolycus: Wall Street Blues or Empires crumbling - your poem is open to all sorts of interpretations. It has a beautiful flow and captures the mood of the soldiers perfectly. The only flaw I can see (apart from the missing line, which is my fault entirely) is that your refrain does not take up the first half of the first line. I obviously did not make myself clear enough about that, sorry!

    Pendragon: Your philosophical contemplation of wasted years is bittersweet. You use the form very convincingly here, even varying emphasis in the refrain. I especially like the second stanza about "fickle fate" and the image of the cut diamond in the first.

    qimissung: Very poignant! I like the way you address the dreamthief who takes away everything that is valuable.

    AuntShecky: Your "rondough" puts a very topical theme in this old-fashioned form and the outcome is wonderful. Your wordplay is just fantastic (well-heeled world - shoes we cannot buy; the sky which banks the sun's rich golden glow, etc.) as is the juxtaposition of economy and nature.

    I like all of your poems, but I have to choose one as the winner. After days and days of pondering I want to congratulate AuntShecky on winning the rondeau-dough contest.
    AuntShecky, choose the next form, please.

    Apologies to all once again for the confusion I created about the form of the rondeau.

  12. #507
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    Holy tetrameter, Windblown! I can't believe this! Thank you very much, and special kudos to all who participated in this round.

    For our next number, a form that might be fun to try is a song parody. Take a well-known tune and rewrite the existing lyrics, substituting the syllables and rhymes so that the melody can still be "sung" with the new words.

    I've looked up this form to see if it is "safe" from a copyright perspective, and as far as I can see, song parodies fall under the definition of "fair use." This isn't for "commercial" purposes; we're not posting the music at all, and the lyrics won't be from the original song but they'll be brand-new by. . .you!

    But in order for us fully to appreciate your parodies, you may want to choose an old song that's in the public domain so that most of us can recognize it. You can choose a Christmas carols, but that's not required. The more famous the original song, the better, though.

    So, one more time:
    1. Choose a song, and rewrite the lyrics.
    2. The more the new topic veers from the original, the funnier the parody will be, but please keep the subject matter within the general Literature Network Forum rules.
    3. Don't worry about length. It doesn't necessarily have to be as long as the original tune. Just a verse or two and the chorus will be fine.
    4. Deadline will be January 2. I'll choose the winning entry shortly after that (as long as the ol' PC's still working next year.)

    If you need more info, try this link:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parody_song

    or you could always send me a "PM."

    Good luck!

    Sincerely,
    Weird Aunt Yankovick

  13. #508
    Skirting the message.
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    Congratulations AutoShecky

    This is a take on Karen Carpenter's Song, "Solitaire". I confess, I'm not so good with humour; satire is more my thing. Here's my attempt.


    Nonpareil

    There was a man
    A homely man
    Who lost his faith
    Through self-indulgence
    With a face that cared
    That went unspared
    Until it cried of
    Extra-divulgence

    And nonpareil's the only name in town
    And every string that ties him ties him down
    While deep within he's desperate to transcend
    Or generate amends
    And steeped within himself he craves the day
    A blip of static all the wage in pay
    While style fares well without him every way
    He's simply nonpareil

    A single crow
    Can steal the show
    Steal presently
    The strength of right
    There was a man
    A homely man
    Who fought to own
    The fabled night.

    And nonpareil's the only name in town
    And every string that ties him ties him down
    While deep within he's desperate to transcend
    Or generate amends
    And steeped within himself he craves the day
    A blip in static all the wage in pay
    While style fares well without him every way
    He's simply nonpareil.

    And nonpareil's the only name in town
    And every string that ties him ties him down
    While style fares well without him every way
    He's aptly nonpareil.






    Solitaire

    There was a man
    A lonely man
    Who lost his love
    Through his indifference
    A heart that cared
    That went unshared
    Until it died
    Within his silence

    And solitaire's the only game in town
    And every road that takes him takes him down
    And by himself it's easy to pretend
    He'll never love again.
    And keeping to himself he plays the game
    Without her love it always ends the same
    While life goes on around him everywhere
    He's playing solitaire.

    A little hope
    Goes up in smoke
    Just how it goes
    Goes without saying
    There was a man
    A lonely man
    Who would command
    The hand he's playing

    Chorus...

    And solitaire's the only game in town
    And every road that takes him takes him down
    While life goes on around him everywhere
    He's playing solitaire.
    Last edited by alakungfu; 11-18-2008 at 06:08 AM.
    "It is not the rich man you should properly call happy, but him who knows with wisdom how to use the blessings of the gods, to endure hard poverty, and who fears dishonor worse than death, and is not afraid to die for cherished friends or fatherland."

    - Horace

  14. #509
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    A funny take on Harry Belafonte's Banna Boat song

    Food Cart

    May-o, I say, may-o
    Delight come and I want some mo’
    May-o, I say, may-o
    Delight come and I want some mo’

    I dreamed all night of the food to come,
    Delight come and I want some mo’
    Stacks of pancakes with butter and syrup, yum!
    Delight come and I want some mo’

    Come, Mr. Waiter I got an order for you,
    Delight come and I want some mo’
    Eggs, toast, sausages, bacon, biscuits and gravy and coffee too,
    Delight come and I want some mo’

    There’s tuna salad, garden salad, sub sandwiches to munch,
    Delight come and I want some mo’
    Hamburgers, hotdogs, coleslaw, cake and punch
    Delight come and I want some mo’

    Big beautiful bunch of ripe bananas,
    Watermelon, strawberries, cherries, pineapples with rum
    Oranges, tangerines, oh! A big tarantula!
    Delight come and I want some mo’

    May-o, I say, may-o,
    Delight come and I want some mo’
    Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh!
    Delight come I can’t eat no mo’!
    Last edited by Pendragon; 11-23-2008 at 10:39 AM.
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  15. #510
    Inexplicably Undiscovered
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    Addendum to current contest rules

    That "Banana Boat" parody is really cute! Of course, now I'll hear the melody in my head all night and "day-o."

    Anyway, I'd better make something clear. Optimally, we'll be choosing songs that most LitNetters already know; for that reason it is NOT necessary to post the original lyrics from the original song. Just post your own lyrics and tell us the title of the song which you are parodying.

    Please remember what I said about copyright in the original rules.

    Nevertheless, I hope we get some more parodies t before Jan. 2!
    Last edited by AuntShecky; 11-20-2008 at 01:05 PM.

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