It was a dark and stormy night
And the dogs were howling at the full moon
Even though we couldn't see it because of the storm
And the dark.
I meant we couldn't see the moon, not the dogs.
Howl!!!!!
Howl!!!!!
Howl!!!!
HOWL!!!!
HOWL!!!
HOWL!!!
It was a dark and stormy night
And the dogs were howling at the full moon
Even though we couldn't see it because of the storm
And the dark.
I meant we couldn't see the moon, not the dogs.
Howl!!!!!
Howl!!!!!
Howl!!!!
HOWL!!!!
HOWL!!!
HOWL!!!
To love or be loved,
which is truer?
There is no polite way
of being happy
I woke up with September mist
trapped under my sleeves
and the coffee said I should have
dreamt of you
going on a train
tiny golden specks afloat
eyes... sun... hair
"I like it when you nick my pencils"
get onyou leave when I arriveget off
and the heating goes
tsk tk tk bfoorf bllrrrrr
Last edited by SleepyWitch; 12-17-2008 at 06:01 AM.
Sorry, but this is good.Originally Posted by SleepyWitch
Un Sac de Produit D'hygiène de Femme - (Apologies to Dave Matthews)
I pop up the collar
on my pink polo shirts
I "hang" with my "brahs"
at Dave Matthews concerts
I wear a white baseball cap
the sticker's still on the bill
Hi, nice to meet you
My name's Massengill
I love "Family Guy"
I quote it non-stop
I use gallons of gel
my hair's spiked on the top
I say "keep it real"
whenever I leave
I thought we'd already met
the name's Summer's Eve
I talk way too loud
on my cellular phone
My sence of self-worth
is far overgrown
I wear plaid-patterned shorts
And my shirt's never tucked
I'm a big plastic bag
of feminine hygiene product.
this is really funny, djy.
who's Dave Matthews?
Thanks Sleepy. Dave Matthews is an American musician. I actually enjoy his music, but a lot of his fans really get on my nerves... Here's a link to one of his music videos
here's a very, very bad one full of tacky rhymes. it's got some obscenities in it, so please don't read it if you're a little kid.
"oo" is supposed to represent the way Manchester ppl pronounce "u", eg. in but
"oh" is supposed to be a longish northern English "o" like in smoke
etc
North and South – a very bad poem in the form of a dialogue between Margaret and Mr Thornton with occasional interruptions by the Evil Spectre of Sexuality
„You conceited heartless tradesperson, you,
it is so inconceivably cruel
to use your workers like a tool,
for which I do despise you, phew!
Ought not you improve their mind
that in your mill so toil and grind?”
“Nah, I wohn’t meddle with their private lives,
oop ‘ere we value our freedom so mooch more
that 'aving doon their daily strives,
leisurely interference they’d deplore.”
“But what about their education
to raise them to a higher station
of spiritual enlightenment?”
“It seems we disagree on this,
and as me business needs provision
I wohn't explain now me decision
let me take leave for now, dear Miss.”
“Oh shock, how dare you touch me thus!”
“’oo says I want to tooch you, stop that fooss!
I only meant to shek your ‘and, you 'aughty soothern brach,
don’t you ‘ave manners where you live, och aye, aye och!”
~~~the evil spectre of sexuality who is trapped inside Margaret’s … head …raises ~~~
“Woooaaaahahhahahahhaahnaaaaggaaaagggaaahuaaahahah aha,
Helllo, whom have we here? A lusty dame?
I’m Spectre, Fornication is my middle name.
Don’t you be so smug and snide,
I’ll pierce and penetrate your maiden pride,
I’ll lick you with the flames of passion,
set fire to your chilly womb
till you yearn for this man’s compassion
in his mother’s sitting room!”
“Oh no, it is so cold in there and dusty,
and you mistake: I’m far from lusty,
besides I’m far too young to marry
and in my heart a dislike carry
for this man.
And furthermore he’s just a friend,
with whom some time I like to spend,
although I love his flashy smile
and brooding countenance
Oh my, I faint!!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Margaret is overpowered by the effort to repress the evil Spectre of Sexuality
“Oh, me Margret, me sohl, me ‘eart, me blood, me little moonkayh,
she’s like a queen, she’ll never ‘ave me, what the devil can I sayh
to mek ‘er loov me?
Ah, I’ll build a canteen for those good-for-noothings,
that’ll stop ‘er hooff-and-pooffin’
and I’ll visit Helstone, too,
and if I walk there in me shoe!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Me Margaret do you know these rohses?”
“Oh? Did I give them to you? I must have willy-nilly”
“Nonsense, me loov, you’re a bit silly.”
“Oops, I change my diagnosis,
‘tis from my home
you brought these flowers pressed inside a tome!”
“Clever girl, now give oos a kiss and be me wife
that never I shall more thee miss in this ‘appy life.”
And so they kissed all night and day
and Evil Spectre got his way.
Last edited by SleepyWitch; 10-12-2008 at 02:40 PM.
a bad poem? i'll try:
Ken was broke, so he was
Just desperate to
Find a room he could afford
Dancing was his passion
So he rented
A room with a
Lovely view
personally, i think this is just weird.
at the market
admiring
the pears when suddenly
a raven flies overhead
your hair
in its dark feathers
that
is the only
place you are
close to me
i say
i'll take the orange instead
"I’ve tasted all the sweetest creams
and danced with daisies in dazed delight;
sunny skies pervade my dreams
and light the dark of earthly scenes..."
Just wrote a sonnet with my son for school. Nothing about love but here goes:
Cub camp
Last weekend I went with cubs on a camp,
The best thing was we did not need a tent,
We selpt in a dorm but it was quite damp,
My bed was comfy although it was bent.
We walked five miles to the nearest small town,
And then we came back and all had to swim
In the river, we raced and won a crown,
After we played football and all made a din.
The food was nice but not as good as mums,
For breakfast we had bacon and fried eggs,
Akela complained if there were some crumbs
Left on the table top or near the legs.
All in all I had a wonderful time,
I even tried to make this sonnet rhyme.
I woke up to find that kittens had grown upon my feet
the trees spited me
sailing away with a hiss like molten dishcloths
leaving me
alone.
The sunset plays
like plaque upon the teeth of a cave
parallelling distance
wringing out my rosebud
delectably septic
with cramp.
With mewling feet
I stamp
- thump! thump!
Hey! Here I come!
Coming at you like a bullet from a gun!
Watch out, I might blow up the sun!
That's why people say I'm really fun!
I'm crazy,
I will amaze thee,
Say anything, I guarantee it won't phase me!
I'm like jello
pretty mellow
all in all it must be said
A really fine fellow.
That's right you heard me.
So don't absurd be.
Just because I'm over thirty
don't mean I can't get down and dirty.
***
Oh my god. Surely the worst rap ever.
Yes, wonderfully dreadful! Positively vomitous!
Love
flows freely
bursting out of a baby's bottom
creamy with effluent gree.
Starch this, mangrel soldiers of machine!
Make it clean now!
make my soul-stench
cry out
stain free
O lemon, thou sour bud, and harshly tasting
perfect in thy ovality, of you I sing.
Oh you, fine seasoning for other things like salad,
yesterday on the lovely fish and chips I had
you, lemon. Oh, you were sour and harsh!
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