Help with proofreading!

[Masterse7en]

I really need someone to proof read this essay for my college english class.
The instructions are:
Critique Oedipus Rex using mythological stratagies. 700 to 800 words. MLA format.
This essay will offer YOUR OPINION. Write in 3rd person. Keep plot summary to a minimum.



Oedipus the Proud

Myths and legends have been a part of almost every culture in the world. Most began as word of mouth stories and transcended into plays, short stories and novels. Many of these involve a plague, quest, or prophecy that needs to be resolved by the end of the story. The protagonist will usually have to go through some kind of change by the end of the story in order to solve the quest, save the city, or the culture. The citizens of Thebes depended on these myths and legends to explain the events in their lives.

“Oedipus the King” is no exception. Within the first few lines, we can see that Oedipus is the character that must change in this story due to his abundant pride. He comes out of the palace and almost immediately announces his pride to the reader when he asks the priest “why are you here? Huddling at my alter, praying before me…” (Sophocles lines 2-3). From the priest response, the reader hears of a “raging plague in all its vengeance” (36) on the city and a “blight on the fresh crops and the rich pastures” (31-32). This points to the things that need to be resolved by the end of the story. Oedipus attempts to resolve the problems the city faces by sending Creon to consult with the oracle. This again, points out Oedipus’s pride in that he thinks he is too good to go to the oracles himself.

Almost immediately Creon returns and announces the commands of the God Apollo, “Pay the killers back – whoever is responsible” (122), referring to the killer of the late king Laius. Due to his pride, Oedipus decides to solve the problem himself and during his ranting about the killer we hear what must be resolved to save the city: “He is the plague, the heart of our corruption…Now my curse on the murderer…let that man drag out his life in agony, step by painful step – I curse myself as well…” (276-284). So now the reader can see the main problem in the story, the killer of Laius must come to justice. And now that we have a plague and a quest, we can finally get to the prophecy.

From the time Oedipus was born, the same prophecy had plagued him, “You are fated to couple with your mother, you will bring a breed of children into the light no man can bear to see – you will kill your father, the one who gave you life!” (873-875). Laius and Jocasta were given this prophecy when Oedipus was born, and Oedipus was given it when he was an adult in the city of Delphi, reiterating the importance of the prophecy. The reader knows that Oedipus did indeed kill his father that day on the road to Delphi when he was too proud to move to the side and allow Laius to pass, but at this point in the story, Oedipus is too proud to realize this. So now we have all the elements for a good mythological story, we just need a change in the protagonist to relieve the plague, solve the quest, and complete the prophecy.

Once Oedipus realizes that he was the one who killed Laius, he now knows the prophecy has come true. He has in fact married his mother and fathered their children and yet he still holds to his pride. Oedipus can’t help but hope that no one else will find out what he has done so he calls on the one person who can allow him to escape persecution; he commands the shepherd to retell the events that led to Laius’s death. This retelling of the story only confirms to Jocasta what she already knows, that she married her son and fathered their children. With this realization, Jocasta hangs herself and when Oedipus finds her, only then does he begin to change. Oedipus now knows and realizes the prophecy has come true and in his agony, he tore out his eyes with Jocasta’s brooch.

At last, after things have calmed down, Oedipus begins his foreseen change while ranting to Creon, “drive me out of the land at once, far from sight, where I can never hear a human voice” (1572-1573). At this point in the story, the reader can see Oedipus’s pride begin to slip. The final turning point, when the plague is lifted, the quest and prophecy has been resolved is when Oedipus asks of Creon, “I command you – I beg you…”(1584), at this point, he has let go and all pride has been lost. So as all myths and legends go, the quest, the city, and the culture have been saved.

[email protected]

[jgweed]

For what it is worth, here are some comments, many of which are not confined to proofreading the text.

Myths and legends have been a part of almost every culture in the world. Most began as word of mouth stories and transcended(1) into plays, short stories and novels. Many of these involve a plague, quest, or prophecy that needs to be resolved by the end of the story. The protagonist will usually have to go through some kind of change by the end of the story in order to solve the quest, save the city, or the culture. The citizens of Thebes depended(2) on these myths and legends to explain the events in their lives.

“Oedipus the King” is no exception. Within the first few lines, we can see (3)that Oedipus is the character that must change in this story due to(4) his abundant pride. He comes out of the palace and almost immediately announces(5) his pride to the reader when he asks the priest “why are you here? Huddling at my alter, praying before me…” (Sophocles lines 2-3).(6) From the priest(7) response, the reader hears of a “raging plague in all its vengeance” (36) on the city and a “blight on the fresh crops and the rich pastures” (31-32). This points to the things that need to be resolved by the end of the story.(8) Oedipus attempts to resolve the problems the city faces by sending Creon to consult with the oracle. This again, points(9) out Oedipus’s pride in that he thinks he is too good to go to the oracles himself.

Almost immediately Creon (10) returns and announces the commands of the God Apollo, “Pay the killers back – whoever is responsible” (122), referring to the killer of the late king Laius. Due to his pride, Oedipus decides to solve the problem himself (11)and during his ranting about the killer we hear what must be resolved to save the city: “He is the plague, the heart of our corruption…Now my curse on the murderer…let that man drag out his life in agony, step by painful step – I curse myself as well…” (276-284). So now the reader can see the main problem in the story, the killer of Laius must come to justice. And now that we have a plague and a quest, we can finally get to the prophecy.(12)

From the time Oedipus was born, the same prophecy had plagued him, “You are fated to couple with your mother, you will bring a breed of children into the light no man can bear to see – you will kill your father, the one who gave you life!” (873-875). Laius and Jocasta were given this prophecy when Oedipus was born, and Oedipus was given it when he was an adult in the city of Delphi (13), reiterating the importance of the prophecy. The reader knows (14) that Oedipus did indeed kill his father that day on the road to Delphi when he was too proud to move to the side and allow Laius to pass, but at this point in the story, Oedipus is too proud to realize this (15). So now we have all the elements for a good mythological story, we just need a change in the protagonist to relieve the plague, solve the quest, and complete the prophecy.(16)

Once Oedipus realizes that he was the one who killed Laius, he now knows the prophecy has come true. He has in fact married his mother and fathered their children and yet he still holds to his pride. Oedipus can’t help but hope that no one else will find out what he has done so he calls on the one person who can allow him to escape persecution; he commands the shepherd to retell the events that led to Laius’s death.(17) This retelling of the story only confirms to Jocasta what she already knows(19), that she married her son and fathered their children. With this realization, Jocasta hangs herself and when Oedipus finds her, only then does he begin to change. Oedipus now knows and realizes the prophecy has come true and in his agony, he tore out his eyes with Jocasta’s brooch. (18)

At last, after things have calmed down (22), Oedipus begins his foreseen change while ranting to Creon, “drive me out of the land at once, far from sight, where I can never hear a human voice” (1572-1573). At this point in the story (21), the reader can see Oedipus’s pride begin to slip. (20) The final turning point, when the plague is lifted, the quest and prophecy has been resolved is when Oedipus asks of Creon, “I command you – I beg you…”(1584), at this point, he has let go and all pride has been lost. So as all myths and legends go, the quest, the city, and the culture have been saved.

(1).Transcended is not the word you want. Maybe : transformed or solidified or evolved.
(2).Depended. This is too strong a word. These myths and legends helped the citizens of Thebes to explain and understand their lives.
(3).Omit we can see that. Insert Sophocles shows O, as
(4). What “we see” from the beginning of the play is the hubris of O, not that it will cause the catastrophes that follow.
(5). Announces? Not precisely. Rather illustrates.
(6). Oedipus Rex, not Sophocles is the citation you want to make. Somewhere you should be sure to indicate the translation you are using.
(7). Priest's reply, answer.
(8). Rather it initiates the action that results..... Omitting the entire sentence might be better.
(9). This act reinforces or illustrates O's pride because it indicates that he
(10). No doubt panting and out of breath. Omit almost immediately.
(11). O's pride leads him to undertake the solution completely on his own. This deserves a citation if you are going to argue this. My own reading would suggest that O, as king of Thebes would naturally be expected to act, perhaps with much less force. O is by his words caught even deeper in the web that the Fates are weaving.
(12). Workaround the use of “we” and “the reader” by suggesting the Theban audience (ties in with your first paragraph), or the Chorus (which represents both the citizens of Thebes and the current audience)
(13)Either O was told the prophecy at birth or he was told of it later. You can't have it both times.
(14) As the play unfolds, the audience hears that O killed Laius
(15) what does O's pride have to do with him knowing the stranger at the crossroads was who he turned out to be?
(16) Rephrase and get rid of the “we”
(17) Need citation to support this coverup. Or was he just hoping against hope that he was wrong and wanted more proof?
(18) Why does the tense change in the paragraph?
(19) Omit “what she already knows” or substitute what she suspects.
(20) Include the comments of the Chorus.
(21) Either “plot” or “action”
(22) Too colloquial for something as shattering.

General comment. Some of your line citations cite the plot (which should be assumed to be known) rather than showing O's pride, O's recognition. You might want to take a look at the Chorus's reflections and reactions to the events and end with its moral tag.

[jgweed]

I forgot to include a warning about posting E-mail addresses in public forums. Spambots prowl the internet looking for anything resembling a "live" address; once found, the address may be immediately subject to spamming by the spambot programme itself, or may be harvested and then repeatedly sold to scum who will bombard your address with junk.
Cheers,
John