I am a conscientious reader and try to work my way through both the 'canon' (Homer, the King James Bible, Shakespeare, Sophocles etc etc) and books on science, religion, philosophy, history and so on. Sometimes it is a slog, at other times I feel uplifted and thrilled by ideas. I am genuinely interested in the world, but there are times when I wonder why I bother to read at all. I am no intellectual, but I am intelligent and well read enough to know how feeble and limited my intelligence really is and how mediocre I am. I know people who have literally never read anything and live an entirely unreflective, instictive life, yet are often much happier than me. They sleep well, are untroubled by the 'big questions' and certainly do find the unexamined life worth living- in fact they seem to do a better job of living than me. Reading so much has made me a bit snobbish and detached, a bit too much of an observer. At times I wish I could be more animal- like: a successful career in an office bullying and shoving myself forward, making plenty of money and filling my weekends with sex, drugs, alcohol and violence.
I don't know, I just wonder why I bother sometimes. I have zero religious faith (if there is a creator He/it is, at best, indifferent to evil and suffering, at worst a sadist) and share Schopenhauer's view of life as an unfortunate accident. If Darwin is the final word it kind of seems like generations of reflective, sensitive, hopeful people trying to make sense of this world were almost, well, wasting their time. It turns out we are no more than a naked ape with a large brain; a violent, selfish and only partly rational creature that finds it hard to live in even a moderately civilised way. We are alone in a meaningless universe, sensitive enough to be tormented by the briefness of our lives, by bereavement, evil and suffering, but not intelligent enough to find a way of being fully happy and at peace with the universe.
Why do you read? What do you get out of it beyond entertainment?



Reply With Quote
Exactly the conclusion I have come to. If I have learnt one thing about life it's this- you can't fight your genes! I wish I had been born a loud, assertive, unthinking extravert, but I'm not and if I pretend I am I shall be miserable.
Yes, I've heard stuff like that. I once heard a grown man in a book shop say to his friend "you know, I can't bear books without pictures in". I noticed you are a Brit btw- we British are depressingly anti intellectual and proudly philistine. So different to the French and Italians. It is such a shame. This soggy little island has produced some of the world's greatest literature and science and yet the average person here is more interested in Jade Goodey than Newton, Chaucer, Milton or Shakespeare. People actually resent you for reading as well- they think it is pretentious or showing off.



