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Thread: Tarnish

  1. #1
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    Tarnish

    Like gold turns poor to rich
    Was my life with you
    Enriched.

    Like pewter's malleable gray fade
    Were all the promises
    You made.

    Like iron's hardened strength
    Was your mettle when
    You went.

    Like brass turned sully green
    Is my defiled love
    Unseen.

    Like silver turned to black
    Is the meaningfulness
    I lack.

    Like copper turned to rust
    Is the corroded residue
    Of us.

    November 1992

    From Other Songs, Just Sadder
    Copyright © 1992 Carl Talerico
    All rights reserved.
    "Cleanse my heart, give me the ability to rage correctly." --Joe Orton, Head to Toe

  2. #2
    The Poetic Warrior Dark Muse's Avatar
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    Very nicely written, I love the comparions you made with the metal, I thought that worked wonderfully well, and was very creativie.

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  3. #3
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    I agree. Brilliant use of these metaphors.

  4. #4
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    Matchless, superb.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

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    A satisfying read...I can now go to my bed and sleep the sleep of the, hopefully, non-insomniac...

    goldenrod.

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    Thanks Blaze, Prince and Dark Muse for your kind words. I feel such keen reward when others derive enjoyment from my work and take time to express their pleasure!
    "Cleanse my heart, give me the ability to rage correctly." --Joe Orton, Head to Toe

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldenrod View Post
    A satisfying read...I can now go to my bed and sleep the sleep of the, hopefully, non-insomniac...

    goldenrod.
    Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night 'til it be morrow.
    "Cleanse my heart, give me the ability to rage correctly." --Joe Orton, Head to Toe

  8. #8
    All are at the crossroads qimissung's Avatar
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    Well said, well-written, the images so beautifully strong!
    "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its' own reason for existing." ~ Albert Einstein
    "Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Buckaroo Bonzai
    "Some people say I done alright for a girl." Melanie Safka

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    Quote Originally Posted by qimissung View Post
    Well said, well-written, the images so beautifully strong!
    Thank you Gimissung. I'm happy you enjoyed it and I appreciate your letting me know.
    "Cleanse my heart, give me the ability to rage correctly." --Joe Orton, Head to Toe

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    After reading your clever, and entrancing poem, I believe the author is suffering from an acute case of "verdi-grief!"

    goldenrod.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldenrod View Post
    After reading your clever, and entrancing poem, I believe the author is suffering from an acute case of "verdi-grief!"

    goldenrod.
    Good grief, nothing "cute" about that! Glad you liked the poem.
    "Cleanse my heart, give me the ability to rage correctly." --Joe Orton, Head to Toe

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