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Thread: Fifth Ave

  1. #1
    Registered User sparr0w's Avatar
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    Fifth Ave

    Sitting here in the doorway
    of an empty building on Fifth Avenue
    between sixth and seventh street
    reading a book
    by some other *******.
    At least he wasn't pretentious;
    I can handle *******s.
    People will show up,
    maybee in an hour, maybee two.
    A church bell rings
    and echoes down seventh street
    like before a duel in some old western.
    I smoke a cigarette and wonder
    when these people will show up.
    People don't have duels anymore.
    Not here.
    No, here they breed cowards
    who kill ice cream men
    for fifty dollars in change
    and talk behind each others backs.
    If they're supposed to be a gang,
    then why do I always see them walking alone-
    And when will these people show up?
    ...And then one does, with her daughter,
    and starts a friendly conversation with me
    right off the bat.
    Her openness startles me...
    And intrigues me,
    but mostly startles me.
    More people...
    Crap.
    Why do I feel so awkward around these people?
    These people whom I was sitting outside waiting for?
    The church bell rings again...
    It was only an hour.
    The meeting is starting.
    People talk and laugh and exchange wisdom
    and the bell rings again.
    Another hour.
    I'm glad I wore sandals today.
    ...Ride life into perfect laughter. It's the only good fight left. -Charles Bukowski

  2. #2
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    I wish I had some sort of intuition as to what the persona was waiting for? The bell suggests something like a church gathering, but the reference to sandals threw me right off.

    On the other hand you manage this stream-of-consciousness technique very well.
    "You must be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi

  3. #3
    Haribol Acharya blazeofglory's Avatar
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    The way you presented circumstances is amazing. Indeed a marvelous composition. I envy you.

    “Those who seek to satisfy the mind of man by hampering it with ceremonies and music and affecting charity and devotion have lost their original nature””

    “If water derives lucidity from stillness, how much more the faculties of the mind! The mind of the sage, being in repose, becomes the mirror of the universe, the speculum of all creation.

  4. #4
    Registered User sparr0w's Avatar
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    Ahh, thank you both for the feedback. An to Blazeofglory, I am the last one you should choose to envy. The fact is that you, my friend, should envy no one. Really getting a compliment from either one of you makes me blush, as you are two of the best writers I have read. Not only on this forum, but anywhere. You will both be in print before I become an old man. and to Prince- Sure, I could tell you what the "persona" (I) was waiting for, and I could also tell you the significance of the sandals, but wouldn't that ruin it for you? Peace- Chris
    ...Ride life into perfect laughter. It's the only good fight left. -Charles Bukowski

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