Quiet

[sparr0w]

Sometimes I get tired, so tired;

And the lights get a little brighter,

and sounds take on a character

where the vowels are muffled

and the constanants get sharp,

like a stick striking a snare drum.

As it echoes off erratically,

I shrink into my head and wait for sleep,

but before sleep comes,

I enter a world where the world distorts;

and a smile crosses my face

like some invasive river-

this is my favorite part of the day.

When today isn't today anymore

but hasn't yet become tomorrow.

This is my favorite part of the day-

When words hold no meaning or merit,

(which is fine, for often times I find words useless anyways)

and then it all dissapears...

This is my favorite part of the day.

*As always, feedback greatly appreciated, including criticism, as long as it's constructive

[Tournesol]

I really like it sparrOw!

You've managed to capture a momemt of time, and describe it so clearly.
lol...I didn't even realize it, but I was nodding in agreement with you by the time I reached the end of the poem - I totaly understand what you mean.

[lucidnightmares]

You captured exactly how I was just feeling on my walk home, a moment where everything means nothing and nothing is everthing. I especially enjoyed the lines from
"I shrink into my head and wait fod sleep" to the very end.
those lines could stand alone as a great poem, but the more I look at it the more the first lines are needed.
This, to me, is a perfect example of how we should aproach a poem multiple times from different points of veiw.
another great one, this is definitely one of my favorites of yours, it captures a beautiful state of mind.

[sparr0w]

Thank you both so much for your compliments. Sometimes the best things to write about are the "insignificant" (balk) things, those small moments that we let pass without ever even considering the scope of their importance. For a great example of that, check out PrinceMyshkin's poem "snapshots". Also, yes Lucid, I thought it would be fun to take it from several angles. Why not, eh? Anyways, thanks again all. You have no idea now much I value your opinions. Peace- Chris

[PrinceMyshkin]

Did you not apologize to me once in a PM for "rambling"? But this is a triumphant manifesto in favour of rambling, of those times or moods when we don't worry overmuch about the PCness of what we have to say or whether it is "important" or "original." I love the seemingly spontaneous way you repeat

QUOTE=sparr0w;557843]this is my favorite part of the day.[/QUOTE]

That "rambling" mode is implicitly an assertion of your right to think aloud, your trust that there is a sympathetic audience, kinda like that great black spiritual I'm going to tell God all my troubles / When I get there...

[blazeofglory]

We try to arrest and make the best and most of time, yet we fail. You have written wonderfully as all have similar feelings, sad at the fact that time gets squandered with no result we want out of it.

[sparr0w]

As always, blazeofglory, well said. Thank you very much for your words!

[amanda_isabel]

love it sparr0w! totally real, totally relatable.

[asilef73]

yes. i know this moment and i love it too. nicely done.

[zuozuo]

I like this way to expree times;first i got cheerless,but later might be as answer of today...