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Thread: Windows

  1. #1

    Windows

    The city somehow looks greyer on lazy afternoons.
    Concrete stands
    facing concrete.
    A silent edifice
    eyes another
    with its hundred eyes: All showing glimpses of life
    rarely chanced.
    The sudden monologue of a crow breaks through
    the slow yellow.
    The absence
    of motion rings
    its presence
    throughout the gallery of windows one after another.
    And the gods of
    miracles and wonder
    are past, only this--
    geometry put
    to careful display, exposed to a lifeless pose—remains.
    Poised and planned.
    One cannot build.
    Will not create.
    One can only stare
    through one’s window and see more windows there.


    March 31, 'o8
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

  2. #2
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    Symphony, youi're really scaring me with how good you've become. Wow, this is excellent. I love the imagery, I love the pacing rhythm, I love the form. The language kind of puts the reader in this weird world of looking through windows as if it were the entire sterile world. It kind of makes one feel like a voyeur. This is so good:
    And the gods of
    miracles and wonder
    are past, only this--
    geometry put
    to careful display, exposed to a lifeless pose—remains.
    Poised and planned.
    One cannot build.
    Will not create.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  3. #3
    why does poetry have to come in my life whenever there're exams ahead?! they were only windows, for heaven's sake.
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

  4. #4
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by symphony View Post
    why does poetry have to come in my life whenever there're exams ahead?! they were only windows, for heaven's sake.
    True, Symphony, they were only windows, but you are a poet.

    "Only" anything does not stand a chance of remaining ordinary in your eyes.

    Excellent poem.

  5. #5
    let the winged fancy roam ahsiam's Avatar
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    thats really wonderful!
    i like last few lines very much with first three ones.actually i liked the theme much. you made a beauty with your words.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Virgil View Post
    Symphony, youi're really scaring me with how good you've become.
    Why does that sound like i was bad before?


    Quote Originally Posted by firefangled View Post
    True, Symphony, they were only windows, but you are a poet.

    "Only" anything does not stand a chance of remaining ordinary in your eyes.
    Hmmm.
    It's just that I cant afford to have that "poet" in me at times.

    Quote Originally Posted by ahsiam View Post
    thats really wonderful!
    i like last few lines very much with first three ones.actually i liked the theme much. you made a beauty with your words.
    Thanks.
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

  7. #7
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by symphony View Post
    why does poetry have to come in my life whenever there're exams ahead?! they were only windows, for heaven's sake.
    Here is the answer to your TERRIBLE quandary, dear child: Make writing poetry your solemn obligation, and you will doubtless seize ecstatically on writing exams instead.
    "You must be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi

  8. #8
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    I love it! This is well-written!! The ending is great, and the form interesting as well.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin View Post
    Here is the answer to your TERRIBLE quandary, dear child: Make writing poetry your solemn obligation, and you will doubtless seize ecstatically on writing exams instead.
    Hmm i've got a bouncy pen lately. Been writing some bengali stuff too down here. I can feel the poetry-fever.


    Quote Originally Posted by Sweets America View Post
    I love it! This is well-written!! The ending is great, and the form interesting as well.
    hey guess what? i love it too!
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

  10. #10
    Registered User Xillus_Xavier's Avatar
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    I agree with everyone else. This is very good.

  11. #11
    why thank you!
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

  12. #12
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Smile

    One very interesting image is that of the monologue crow declaiming from a viewpoint upon a lightning rod or tree branch, perhaps addressing one of your windows! Well done!
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  13. #13
    Metamorphosing Pensive's Avatar
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    Wow, beautiful poem, symphony! I have really loved the rhythm it possesses.

    And the gods of
    miracles and wonder
    are past, only this--
    geometry put
    to careful display, exposed to a lifeless pose—remains.
    This has got to be my favourite part.
    I sang of leaves, of leaves of gold, and leaves of gold there grew.

  14. #14
    still waiting to be found
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    i loved it

    i can so realte to the whole poetry fever along with exams. i've even had to write poems in the middle of taking some.. (whether they're any good is another thing, though, lol)

  15. #15
    Why pester someone for... formality hater's Avatar
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    Very well composed,indeed!
    Leaping and hopping like a frog now, but still have a long way to go before I get crowned as "King Frog"!

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