At the hotel restaurant
in Paris
at the table next to me
a couple who've been married
since just before the invention of pain.
He looks past her shoulder
into the middle distance
as if he might find a thought there
somewhere, she
looks down, to the left of him, wondering
where the years have gone.
Last edited by PrinceMyshkin; 03-19-2008 at 12:08 PM. Reason: Suggestion by blp
This is the first time I've had the pleasure of reading your poetry, and I am wowed. How evocative, just in a few simple lines.
Naked except for a cigarette, you let your mind drift and forget your disbelief. Feel the chill down your back and the flutter of wings through dandelion fields, and forget the pull of gravity in a night without stars.
I lack eloquence and commitment to my arguments. They are half baked, and I will begin passionately, and then abandon them.
Jerry, this feels kind of familiar but I'm not sure why. Nice, but sad.
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how sad Jerry. You must feel melancholy after returning home. Coming and going- it’s bitter sweet.
Yes, I guess that couple were there to provide me an outlet for my disappointment, but Sophie and I have never lacked for things to say to each other, and I doubt we ever will.Originally Posted by motherhubbard
Given the deep respect I have for your literary abilities, this means a great deal to me. And may I suggest you check out
a poem of mine that I'm especially proud of.
God forbid that the familiarity is owing to you having been in the same situation!
But if you ever recollect some other piece of writing this reminds you of, do please let me know.
Very elegant poem. It's full of longing. It's sad, but thought provoking. Congradulations.
I love it, Schwee!The second stanza is very strong, it makes the reader think.
You never cease to amaze me with your “Snapshots” in words. One can almost see the elderly couple through your eyes, as they sit at their table, seemingly each lost in memories they share but cannot seem to connect…
Some of us laugh
Some of us cry
Some of us smoke
Some of us lie
But it's all just the way
that we cope with our lives...
short and bittersweet. Lines 3-6 are the best.
No one has ever described one of my poems as "elegant" before nor was I ever conscious of seeking that reaction, but I am grateful for it. And if I am correct in understanding "elegance" the way scientists sometimes apply it to a theorem - that it expresses itself in the most economical way - then yes, that is one of my ideals re writing poetry: to get to the heart of the matter in the fewest, most appropriate words.
Funny - what you didn't say, said the most. It is the silence of people who know each other too well - or in most cases, no longer know each other at all.
Very poignant. You make me sad. )-;
Um, Tis better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all?
Don't you want to tell Shakespeare to go burn in the firey tempest every once in awhile?
Sorry for your pain. A melancholy heart is always suceptible to sympathy - so I give it to you.
(PS: Great poem - but that sounds trite. By the above, you know how much I liked it)
Madness is my defense against Reality.
Frankly I prefer the variant: Tis better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
Not really, I'm much too busy grovelling at the feet of WB Yeats.Don't you want to tell Shakespeare to go burn in the firey tempest every once in awhile?
You're my buddy. You really are.Sorry for your pain. A melancholy heart is always suceptible to sympathy - so I give it to you.
(PS: Great poem - but that sounds trite. By the above, you know how much I liked it)
It's a lovely poem. How very strange that something so sad can sould beautiful at the same time.
FRANCISCO
For this relief much thanks: 'tis bitter cold,
And I am sick at heart.
Hamlet Act I Scene I
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