
Originally Posted by
TheFifthElement
Wow! So many wonderful entries, packed with love, passion, sadness, the whole range of emotions. It’s been a pleasure to read them, and a hardship judging. In the end I have to pick a winner, but I have to say that the quality of entries has made it truly difficult. I’d love to go into detail on all the poems, but then you’d all get bored and my fingers would be very tired, so I’ll offer my brief thoughts below.
Nick Adams your poem was certainly very different to the others here, and I was impressed with your ability to keep the language faithful to the theme. These lines really stood out, particularly so close to the beginning of the poem
Motherhubbard there’s a really ethereal quality to this poem, that ‘breathy whisper’, or a memory just out of reach. You’ve maintained a sense of mystery, the sense that there is more to read between the lines, and the poem is packed with emotion. The form and shape of the poem also add to its beauty. It is one I could read many times and still feel there was more to it.
downing another sad poem, which left me wondering what their story was. I liked these lines the most:
Pen you capture the spirit of the watcher really well here, and I’m seriously impressed with your powers of observation. There’s a sense of detachment and yet that intense exploration, down to the cracks which the casual observer wouldn’t notice makes me wonder. I love poems which make me think. I have just one question which is the reference to ‘eleven lady’ – I wasn’t sure if the lightening fingers had taken over and you meant ‘elven’, or whether this was me reading my expectation rather than your meaning. I kind of like the idea of an ‘eleven’ lady, it creates an interesting image.
Firefangled I’m always impressed with how much you can express in a poem, how you can condense a life story into a few lines. This is no different, you’ve really reached into the heart of the people, not just the statue but the real people behind it, given them depth. It was also interesting that you placed the piece in a tram station – this statue was part of the recent renovation of St Pancras Station in London which is the new Eurostar terminal, so the reference was quite uncanny!
Amanda Isobel your poem was short but powerful and neat. Every word has meaning, which is something difficult to achieve.
AdoreroDio you also have given them a story and a pretty sad one at that. I enjoyed the juxtaposition of strength and weakness as a theme throughout the poem. I wondered if it might be a more powerful piece if you trimmed it a little. The ending was really simple, but powerful :
schadenfreude I love the opening line of this, it really drew me in, made it personal from the start. You develop the theme nicely, and with control. These lines are incredibly sad
Petrarch’s Love I though this was really cleverly done, and looked at the picture from a different angle. I enjoyed the repetition in the first lines of each stanza (though the middle one was slightly different) and again your control here was very evident.
MazHur technically you broke the rules by submitting two entries, but I though, perhaps, that the second entry was the poem you intended to enter. This was a very classical love poem, with its references to the moon, stars, angels, the love that transcends time and space. Often this can be done quite badly, but I didn’t feel that the poem was clichéd, perhaps more touchingly innocent.
dramasnot6 I don’t think I’ve read any of your poetry before Drama, but I was very impressed. Again, there’s a clear sense of control, wrapped in beautiful language. I especially liked the image of them as a puzzle fitting together, though I had to look up ‘ersatz’ so you taught me something too!
ampoule Phew! A very passionate, very intense poem. There’s an underlying current of energy, the desire to run, the anticipation of the next goodbye. The ending is perfect ‘help me’. I felt it.
Anonymous Angel a nice acrostic, and a nice poem. Unfortunately as it was submitted after the deadline I couldn’t include it in the judging but perhaps you could join us next time?
Now for the winner. It was a tough choice, and I’ve been torn over the past few days between a number of the entries. In the end I’ve chosen the poem which touched me the most, which I felt was both visually and emotionally stimulating.
So, without any further prevaracating on my part, may I offer my congratulations to Motherhubbard who is the winner this time, but I think everyone deserves congratulations for their wonderful entries which it has been my great pleasure to read.