Originally Posted by
Sweets America
To the original poster:
I am not sure that the love we share with our families is always unconditional. Sometimes our families can be judgemental. Sometimes, if you fall in love with someone and your family doesn't like the person, your whole family can turn their back to you. You were born in your family, but you have not chosen it. I don't like the idea that one has to love his or her mother just because it's his/her mother. This is nonsense to me. Love shouldn't be forced. Sometimes if you are different from the rest of your family, they judge you. And of what use or how genuine is love that is prescribed by this or that rule? Loving my children as deeply as I do, I hope I have never communicated to them that they owe me love in return. Indeed (a trivial point perhaps) remembering my own terror lest I overlook a mother's or father's day, I forbade my kinds to honour me on father's day.... but whenthey do, I am overjoyed.This is the difference between a family and a lover. You have not chosen your family, and thus they can be judgemental towards you, but when you choose your lover, you will choose someone who doesn't judge you. This kind of love is more honest to me. Anyhow, I do not think we ever choose to love anyone either, because I think love just falls on us. Or does seem that way at times - but even then, one has some degree of choice in whether to be fallen on or not. Love without free will - obsessive love - is not I believe worth very much in the end.
I do not agree either with the old saying that says that 'you have to love yourself if you want the others to love you'. I think that sometimes, people have real trouble with themselves, and it is actually the love that someone else can give them which will restore the love they can feel for themselves. Sometimes we cannot love ourselves without the help of an external person. Indeed, should one or can one ever love oneself unless one has at least once offered love - without the obligation of being loved in return - and has been lucky enough to be loved, freely, by some other? Looking at ourselves through the eyes of another is sometimes what we need to understand better and see ourselves differently.Bravo!
I do not think that human beings are necessarily attracted to confident people.Oh, but I suspect that they are - not so much out of genuine love of that other but when they suffer from low self-esteem and hope that some of the other's self-confidence will rub off on to them. Which it may do, for a time, but likely will not last unless one finds confidence within oneself/ You talk about political matters, but love is different, I think. I do not need to be with someone who is extra confident. Both of the lovers can actually gain in confidence together. This is what is interesting also in love, it can reveal the best of ourselves, and make us stronger.
Women work too much, you say?Like you, perhaps, I was surprised to hear Bruce express that feeling but noted later that he identified himself as elderly or at least older, so I attribute that feeling on his part to old fashioned values, something along the lines that one should keep one's woman "barefoot and pregnant"! What about men? I agree that when people work too much, they might not have enough time for love. Then it depends on their priorities. Mine has always been love, so I know what you mean. But, you should ask yourself why you blame women more than men. And, about what you say after, I'm not sure people should have kids just so that their parents have a namesake.
I agree with what you say about true love. Something that grows with time. Something that doesn't make people give up.
-
)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
