write a really bad poem

[Granny5]

On a dark and cold night
I thought I saw a light
So I went down the stairs
(hoping to eat some pears)
And behold! On a broken chair
Lay something that gave me a greasy stare.

It was a bad poem! Oh the shame,
the pain! It was so lame!
It made my stomach rumble
And made my apple crumble
The torment, like hell itself will open
to shake out agony, it was soap-en?

Well, I ate my pear, climbed up the stairs
Away from the chair and the poem with the gruesome stare.

How cute!

[SleepyWitch]

Nuremberg Public Transport Inc.
how ghastly do your tram seats stink
of royal blue Polyurethane
the polymer of piss
I'm sure no Alabama bar can boast
as much white trash as you host
on any given single trip
from Nuremberg Süd to City Park.
Where else do you get so many
three-chinned mothers with
four-bellied daughters that
squint at homo sapiens
and openly giggle at every
average carbon-based bi-ped?
Nuremberg Public transport Inc
how tacky do your clients stink
of fast-food grease, hairspray and
ashtrays dissolved in deodorant.
Your human walruss passengers
could make a beauty queen
self-conscious amidst their ugliness.

[SleepyWitch]

and yet another one:


Dear friend, let me congratulate you
on your supreme choice of a wife.
For she is rarely gifted who can
so unselfishly hoist a smile
from an indifferent heart.
I hope she will indulgently
let you perform many a happy copulation
and lie trembling according to her duty
as you chase her ever-receding grail.
Good Sir, I wish you joy of your bride
and may she stay at your side
long enough for you to learn
the value of fond remembrances
to cherish in the shriveled evening of your life.

[motherhubbard]

A little mouse was in my house
But now that sucker’s dead
My husband set a little trap
That snapped him in the head

Some feta cheese or aged cheddar
will do the job quite well
Just set the trap and walk away
And send the rat to hell

Nuremberg Public Transport Inc.
how ghastly do your tram seats stink
of royal blue Polyurethane
the polymer of piss
I'm sure no Alabama bar can boast
as much white trash as you host
on any given single trip
from Nuremberg Süd to City Park.
Where else do you get so many
three-chinned mothers with
four-bellied daughters that
squint at homo sapiens
and openly giggle at every
average carbon-based bi-ped?
Nuremberg Public transport Inc
how tacky do your clients stink
of fast-food grease, hairspray and
ashtrays dissolved in deodorant.
Your human walruss passengers
could make a beauty queen
self-conscious amidst their ugliness.

loved it!

[mazHur]

A little mouse was in my house
But now that sucker’s dead
My husband set a little trap
That snapped him in the head

Some feta cheese or aged cheddar
will do the job quite well
Just set the trap and walk away
And send the rat to hell

Hey, that's not a bad poem!
I give you 10/10!

[SleepyWitch]

A little mouse was in my house
But now that sucker’s dead
My husband set a little trap
That snapped him in the head

Some feta cheese or aged cheddar
will do the job quite well
Just set the trap and walk away
And send the rat to hell

heehee, this is so funny especially the first stanza

[Granny5]

A little mouse was in my house
But now that sucker’s dead
My husband set a little trap
That snapped him in the head

Some feta cheese or aged cheddar
will do the job quite well
Just set the trap and walk away
And send the rat to hell

What a waste of feta! MH, this is soooo bad. Ok, I really find it cute but I promised.

[manny2]

a fluke and a joke
eating subs only
claiming to loose weight

for he was to lazy
to walk a step past his apartment
but only downstairs
to go to the subway!

running around like a prick
acting like a super star
who are you again?

i'm jared the subway guy!
what a joke.



iv met the guy, he really is a prick.. he thinks hes a star its amazing

[Pendragon]

when a poet gets stuck
it sucks
can't find rythum and rhyme.
just killin' time
feelin' bored--
shoot the darn keyboard!
one thing good about the caper--
I ain't wastin' paper...

Pendragon

[blp]

Feed mulch to wet worms watch them wear their widdle worm tums oot

[FacialFracture]

Bad poetry is my favourite kind! I'll contribute:

I was sick on my father when I was three,
We were sitting under a linden tree,
I said I thought I’d swallowed a bee,
And my father cleaned up after me.

I was sick on myself only last year,
I blamed my friend and my friend blamed the beer;
I’m really not sure if my words were clear
When I said “I’m glad my dad’s not here.”

[mazHur]

This is not a bad poem, dude.
Keep it up !

[SleepyWitch]

I'm not sure this is totally bad, but I can't be bothered to spam the forum with a new thread, so I'll post it here

This life's a closed-book exam,
except your neighbour scribbles on your sheet
in indelible ink when the boozy invigilator’s
gone to have a smoke
and you end up quoting Madonna
when you meant the Pope

But somehow I seem to have made a vow,
promised you, or myself or the ants
that amid all the

arms-races, after eight mints,
binge drinking, bloodshed, beaches,
Ciceronean orators,
Darfur,
enlightenment thought and emaciation,
fashion, football, French revolution,
Glamour, google, Gaza strip,
hairstyles and hairgels
[unisex-herbal-curl-activating shine]
iguanas,
Jelly Beans,
Krishna, Hare Krishna, Hare Hare,
Hare Krishna
Hare
Krishna Hare
[outside a Birmingham bookshop]
liberals and lullabies and lipsick on a rival’s teeth
[er, you’ve got…. forget it],
moons, music old and new,
nuptials [and divorce parties:
Theseus minus Hippolyta],
oval offices, ora..nges,
predictable! philistine philosophers,
quirks, Quark, quasars,
roadside motels, rendezvous, rendez me,
rendez you, rendez each other for a
sh*g [only one last time, the road will thank us],
tea, transport, Trafalquar Square,
undies, uvular R,
Volkswagen, vernacular, vascular plants,
water crisis,
X, Malcolm
Y, why? Why not? If and but, but why and when and how?
Zemin, your little red book is gathering dust in the attic

I’d still find time to catch a cold.
And as long as there are dusty train stations in summertime
I’ll stay newborn (at four o’clock) in spite of evidence.
I rest my case.
Objection denied.

[mazHur]

a gum is a gum and a gum is a glue
glue touched her nose and gave her flu
then gum and glue went to the zoo
and the flu spread all over and through!

[crazefest456]

a gum is a gum and a gum is a glue
glue touched her nose and gave her flu
then gum and glue went to the zoo
and the flu spread all over and through!

this has pre-apocalyptic undertones....are you sure this is a bad poem?