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Thread: Tonight-waiting for your comments!

  1. 11-10-2007, 08:28 AM #1
    Pretty^Athens
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    Post Tonight-waiting for your comments!

    Tonight…I'm feeling my…
    Potions…
    I just can't stop
    My active imagination…
    Or my running hormones…
    I'm still awake…
    Thinking of your killing touches
    And your hypnozing looks and whispers…
    All night long…
    I've been thinking
    Of your hot bare skin
    Touching mine…
    And your lovely powerful fingers…
    Playing with my hair and neck…
    I've been dying…
    Imagining our first kiss…
    Wild, wet, gentle kiss…
    Teaching me how sweet
    You lips taste…
    I've been dying…
    Imagining that only you and me…
    Are standing on a high mount…
    Hanging and hugging
    And you giving me sweet painful bites…
    Kissing me gentle kisses…
    Kissing me ear…my eyes…
    My neck, my hands….
    And my cheeks…
    And then…
    While I'm dying in your arms…
    You're just playing with my lips…
    Touching them…
    Kissing them…
    And biting them…
    And suddenly…
    While we're sinking into
    An ocean of love and…lust
    You're putting my tiny head
    On your beating heart…
    To hear it…
    And to feel your boiling blood
    Running into your loving heart…
    And then…
    While the cute silver moon
    Is watching us proudely…
    To say goodbye…
    You'r putting your arms on my shoulders…
    Feeling we're only one soul
    That parted in two bodies…
    And kissing me one last kiss…
    That'll mark my lips for ever…
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....
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  2. 11-10-2007, 09:12 AM #2
    andrew23
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    Oh my, that's so romantic, I felt it tingle in my bones.
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  3. 11-10-2007, 09:23 AM #3
    Pretty^Athens
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    glad to hear!
    thanks for your comment!
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....
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  4. 11-10-2007, 09:25 AM #4
    andrew23
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    just by reading your work, i felt like falling in love..

    damn, that was powerful..
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  5. 11-10-2007, 09:28 AM #5
    dibyendra
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty^Athens View Post
    Tonight…I'm feeling my…
    Potions…
    I just can't stop
    My active imagination…
    Or my running hormones…
    I'm still awake…
    Thinking of your killing touches
    And your hypnozing looks and whispers…
    All night long…
    I've been thinking
    Of your hot bare skin
    Touching mine…
    And your lovely powerful fingers…
    Playing with my hair and neck…
    I've been dying…
    Imagining our first kiss…
    Wild, wet, gentle kiss…
    Teaching me how sweet
    You lips taste…
    I've been dying…
    Imagining that only you and me…
    Are standing on a high mount…
    Hanging and hugging
    And you giving me sweet painful bites…
    Kissing me gentle kisses…
    Kissing me ear…my eyes…
    My neck, my hands….
    And my cheeks…
    And then…
    While I'm dying in your arms…
    You're just playing with my lips…
    Touching them…
    Kissing them…
    And biting them…
    And suddenly…
    While we're sinking into
    An ocean of love and…lust
    You're putting my tiny head
    On your beating heart…
    To hear it…
    And to feel your boiling blood
    Running into your loving heart…
    And then…
    While the cute silver moon
    Is watching us proudely…
    To say goodbye…
    You'r putting your arms on my shoulders…
    Feeling we're only one soul
    That parted in two bodies…
    And kissing me one last kiss…
    That'll mark my lips for ever…
    Pretty^Athens, this is really a romantic poem of yours. I enjoyed reading this one.
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  6. 11-10-2007, 09:48 AM #6
    Pretty^Athens
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    Quote Originally Posted by andrew23 View Post
    just by reading your work, i felt like falling in love..

    damn, that was powerful..
    oh that's a lovely thing to hear... never knew my work'de be that powerful!
    Thanks!

    Quote Originally Posted by dibyendra View Post
    Pretty^Athens, this is really a romantic poem of yours. I enjoyed reading this one.
    Thanks glad to know you enjoy reading it!
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....
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  7. 11-10-2007, 12:16 PM #7
    Pendragon
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    Exclamation

    Romantic, bording on the exotic but never crossing the line. Shows that one can write about romantic experiences without resort to absolute naughtiness! You turn it in to something beautiful, which is what it should be, at the same time admitting to a bit of lust, not just love. Excellent!

    Pen

    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...
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  8. 11-10-2007, 01:13 PM #8
    Pretty^Athens
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    thanks! i'm glad you like my work!
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....
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  9. 11-13-2007, 05:12 PM #9
    Pretty^Athens
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    come on guys, what else do you think of it?
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....
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  10. 11-14-2007, 12:07 AM #10
    jon1jt
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    A little poem which touches on a big subject with hope and conviction. The first 6-8 lines are lively, playful. by the middle i've become slightly dissatisfied---the bites, the kisses, the gentle kisses, bah bum bah bum bah bum... there is overexplanation and in the end the sexual energies never actualize, only blase description, statements of a real experience, which, for the poet was sacred and valuable. i see this as a springboard to something tighter, mysterious.
    Last edited by jon1jt; 11-14-2007 at 12:25 AM.
    "He was nauseous with regret when he saw her face again, and when, as of yore, he pleaded and begged at her knees for the joy of her being. She understood Neal; she stroked his hair; she knew he was mad."
    ---Jack Kerouac, On The Road: The Original Scroll
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  11. 11-14-2007, 12:37 AM #11
    symphony
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    come on guys, what else do you think of it?
    My thoughts while i read it was- "cute, but too hackneyed in theme and phrases". No offence meant.
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.
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  12. 11-14-2007, 07:29 AM #12
    Pretty^Athens
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    Quote Originally Posted by jon1jt View Post
    A little poem which touches on a big subject with hope and conviction. The first 6-8 lines are lively, playful. by the middle i've become slightly dissatisfied---the bites, the kisses, the gentle kisses, bah bum bah bum bah bum... there is overexplanation and in the end the sexual energies never actualize, only blase description, statements of a real experience, which, for the poet was sacred and valuable. i see this as a springboard to something tighter, mysterious.
    hey jon, thanks for your reply,
    Well yeah maybe i'm overexplaining here.. But i don't know, when i tried to change the middle i just felt it's proper in its place!
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....
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