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Thread: untitled-waiting for your comments!

  1. #1
    Registered User Pretty^Athens's Avatar
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    untitled-waiting for your comments!

    The wind blew softly and blew her golden red hair that was shining under the silver moon light… she felt like Scheherazade in her very first night with Schehrayare, scared, pretty, and excited! She was waiting for him in the near woods, surrounded by nothing but the cold autumn wind and the bare-branches trees. She suddenly felt lonely… thinking of him joining the army and leaving her behind made her heart dizzy with fear, and her blood boil as if set on fire… how could he give her up like that to fight in a stupid war that will result in nothing but pain to everyone… she was very upset and the joy she felt for him being an adult and joining the army just disappeared… she felt a heavy wave of selfishness was covering her; that kind of selfishness that only lovers can feel, out of fear selfishness, the fear oh him abandoning her' fear of her love getting killed by the sword of this cursed war. She wanted him only for her, without any one sharing his love, even if it was her own beloved homeland. She was confused, surprised from herself, and angry at him. She was frustrated!
    Then, while she was drowning in her thoughts… he appeared…more handsome than she could ever remember… he was a man now… not a foolish teenager anymore… dressed in a soldier's uniform. He was very happy and proud with tears in his eyes… he was sad for leaving her behind, but happy to join this war… to prove himself as a loving citizen…he walked confidently toward her, feeling different things, hypnotized by her unique beauty…
    But when their eyes me they both said nothing, they just ran toward each other, with great love and passion in their eyes… they said nothing, just hugged and enjoyed one last kiss… a kiss that could say it all… all the feelings they tried to translate into words, all the emotions that captured theirs tongues… it all was said by one passionate kiss…
    As they were enjoying their delightful kiss, she felt he was collapsing, and his uniform fell on the ground! As if the heat of her kiss and emotions burned him… as if her excited passionate love would never allow him to hurt her…

  2. #2
    Yes! crazefest456's Avatar
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    "Schehrayare" I love that name; whenever I hear it, I think about courage and boldness..
    I love that your piece is so RAW-- the emotions flow well, without any boring fillers and cliches. I totally wanted the uniform to fall while I was reading it...I always imagine the soldier's arrival as unreal (so, the conflict is the innwardly death of the lover).

  3. #3
    Registered User Pretty^Athens's Avatar
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    wow.. thankyou.. I love what you said! Glad you liked it!

  4. #4
    Registered User Pretty^Athens's Avatar
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    hey you guys, what do you think of it?
    Perception becomes a language... The far greater part of what is supposed to be perception is only the body of ideas which a perception has awakened....

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