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Thread: what tomorrow brings

  1. #1
    solid motherhubbard's Avatar
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    what tomorrow brings

    I feel so lost, or maybe just empty,
    sitting here a hollow woman in the fullness of life.
    What blessing I lack I do not know
    and there is nothing I can say is amiss.
    Still I feel a longing for rest or togetherness or maybe just time.

    I’d like to think that tomorrow will be different,
    But I know what tomorrow brings- more.
    More, slung over his hunched back
    gaining distance on me with every steady step
    Clomping heavy boots that sound like Doc Martins on hollow stairs

    I wish I could reach out - lock the door and hook the chain
    Pretend that I’m not home. Tomorrow might think I’ve taken a vacation.
    Would he be angry if I ran off to some little bed and breakfast in the hills
    and woke to the smell of someone else cooking?
    I’d have two farm eggs over medium, bacon and coffee.

    Tomorrow might just plop his old bag down on the porch,
    and kick the door with his steel toed boots.
    He might scream or try to see in the windows.
    But I’d be hiding quietly in a hot bubble bath,
    my smiling face under a hot washcloth

  2. #2
    nice.
    But what if he's got wits enough to break in?
    ^_^
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

  3. #3
    Internal nebulae TheFifthElement's Avatar
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    I really like this motherhubbard, perhaps it would benefit from a little trimming, but you've got a really strong poem here. I know the feeling, of never seeming to have time, just wanting a day off, someone to look after you, waking to the smell of someone else's cooking - yes!

    I loved these parts in particular:

    Quote Originally Posted by motherhubbard View Post
    sitting here a hollow woman in the fullness of life.
    Quote Originally Posted by motherhubbard
    But I know what tomorrow brings- more.
    More, slung over his hunched back
    gaining distance on me with every steady step
    Quote Originally Posted by motherhubbard
    Tomorrow might just plop his old bag down on the porch,
    and kick the door with his steel toed boots.
    He might scream or try to see in the windows.
    But I’d be hiding quietly in a hot bubble bath,
    my smiling face under a hot washcloth
    Enjoy your bath motherhubbard - it sounds like you've earned it
    Want to know what I think about books? Check out https://biisbooks.wordpress.com/

  4. #4
    Ruadh gu brath ampoule's Avatar
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    So many lines here touch me deeply. This is a wonderful poem, so real.
    I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.

    "If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor

  5. #5
    Registered User Granny5's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by motherhubbard View Post
    I feel so lost, or maybe just empty,
    sitting here a hollow woman in the fullness of life.
    What blessing I lack I do not know
    and there is nothing I can say is amiss.
    Still I feel a longing for rest or togetherness or maybe just time.

    I’d like to think that tomorrow will be different,
    But I know what tomorrow brings- more.
    More, slung over his hunched back
    gaining distance on me with every steady step
    Clomping heavy boots that sound like Doc Martins on hollow stairs

    I wish I could reach out - lock the door and hook the chain
    Pretend that I’m not home. Tomorrow might think I’ve taken a vacation.
    Would he be angry if I ran off to some little bed and breakfast in the hills
    and woke to the smell of someone else cooking?
    I’d have two farm eggs over medium, bacon and coffee.

    Tomorrow might just plop his old bag down on the porch,
    and kick the door with his steel toed boots.
    He might scream or try to see in the windows.
    But I’d be hiding quietly in a hot bubble bath,
    my smiling face under a hot washcloth
    You finally posted a new poem and it was worth the wait. Good job, Kiddo.
    Avatar by Pendragon
    "All we are saying is give PEACE a chance." Beatles[/SIZE]
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  6. #6
    feathers firefangled's Avatar
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    MH, so good to see you back in these parts again. This was a beautiful, but longing poem.

    While you are in that bath, remember, tomorrow is nothing but a concept; it doesn't exist. There is only now, warm water, bubbles, candles, music, washcloth and no one else but you.

  7. #7
    Vincit Qui Se Vincit Virgil's Avatar
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    Mom-H, I really like it too. I agree with FifthElement that it could use some smoothing over in spots, but the heart of it is an excellent poem. Interesting paradox how in the first stanza you are longing for time but the rest is a running away from tme. Time is such a weird concept if one really thinks about it. Fifth already highlighted my favorite parts, so I'll let that stand.
    LET THERE BE LIGHT

    "Love follows knowledge." – St. Catherine of Siena

    My literature blog: http://ashesfromburntroses.blogspot.com/

  8. #8
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Make this one vigorous vote against the two who proposed trimming or smoothing it out. It grabbed me by the throat from the beginning and NEVER let go. And that seemingly so humble detail of the wet washcloth was just so perfect a conclusion! In a condition such as you describe, one doesn't long so much for a holiday in Hawaii, it seems so out of reach, but a hot washcloth!

    The ending is reminiscent of a heartbreaking story by the Yiddish writer I.L. Peretz, "Bontche Schweig," which you could look up... if only you had the time! And I can quite see why I haven't been hearing from you, much as I'd have liked to.
    "You must be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi

  9. #9
    solid motherhubbard's Avatar
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    I have to say I was thinking everyone might have forgotten me. Thanks for all of your responses. My husband thought it was depressing and wondered why I was so depressed and he said that he just didn’t get it- he always says that. I giggled when I wrote it. I get so tickled at the thought of hiding quietly under a washcloth like I wasn’t there- Thanks for all of the comments everyone. What do the trimmers think should be trimmed?

  10. #10
    Registered User Pretty^Athens's Avatar
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    wow i really love it... it touched me deep inside.. it's just the way i feel about tomorrow!
    writ on

  11. #11
    solid motherhubbard's Avatar
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    guess what- when I woke up this morning my husband was cooking bacon and fresh farm eggs and my daughter was fixing biscuits and the coffee was already ready- FANTASTIC!!

  12. #12
    Registered User Granny5's Avatar
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    Maybe you should write more?
    Avatar by Pendragon
    "All we are saying is give PEACE a chance." Beatles[/SIZE]
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  13. #13
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by motherhubbard View Post
    guess what- when I woke up this morning my husband was cooking bacon and fresh farm eggs and my daughter was fixing biscuits and the coffee was already ready- FANTASTIC!!
    Yes, to what Granny says - and maybe the next one will be about the end of the war in Iraq and a hopefully glorious November 3rd, 2008?
    "You must be the change you want to see in the world." Gandhi

  14. #14
    Ruadh gu brath ampoule's Avatar
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    I still agree with my thoughts in #4 above (it's good to agree with oneself, is it not?), but after reading your blog...this question....
    Sorry, I could not resist. I hope you enjoyed your breakfast and that this morning's will be just as nice.

    p.s. I'm very curious. On your mom's blog, whatever happened with your dad's xray?
    Last edited by ampoule; 11-06-2007 at 08:00 AM.
    I'm in love with The Vinegar Man and Mr. Tanner, but be careful, it could just as easily be you.

    "If you're going to write you better have somewhere to come from." Flannery O'Connor

  15. #15
    solid motherhubbard's Avatar
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    Well Prince, I was thinking about writing about the laundry or breathing life back in to the remodeling effort but I suppose world peace is more important.

    Thanks Amp- nothing came of the X-ray. I would still like to see it. and I'm not sure what this question is?

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