funny things your teachers said

[Bakiryu]

My geometry teacher strikes again.

Now, every time someone is half asleep on his class, he uncaps a sharpie, puts it next to your nose and says "Wanna smell my pen?"

(weirdo)

it's hilarious!

[Shalot]

Are you on the pot? (read, "are you smoking marijuana?)

[ReynardtheFox]

My English teacher at school was in the finest British tradition of being completely barmy.

I remember one class where we were reading Beowulf, and there was a gaggle of giggling girlies outside the window making a bit of a racket. So Mr. P_ jumps on top of his chair (he was about 60 years old) and starts bellowing Icelandinc curses at them.

They almost wet themselves with fright, and I almost fell off my chair laughing.

Also the most easily distracted teacher ever. If you wanted to talk about something other than what you were meant to be discussing, all you had to do was ask him how his bees were.

Then, get comfortable, because he would be off and running talking about his hives and his new queen and how he was looking forward to his new batch of honey.

Great guy. Mad as a brush, but great.

[Zombie]

our teacher has us all in the computer lab and is making us have an online discussion about a book on the forums... during class... like right now... i don't understand... why can't we just like... talk to each other... i guess he likes us being antisocial or something.

[Dori]

We were discussing "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" (Ambrose Bierce) in class a few days ago, just talking about the "enhanced" senses of the main character as he "escaped" from being hanged. My teacher said, "Somebody must have spiked his cornflakes or something." I'm not sure where that ranks with what I've read in this topic, but I'll try to record more of the things he says during our discussions.

[SleepyWitch]

We were discussing "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" (Ambrose Bierce) in class a few days ago, just talking about the "enhanced" senses of the main character as he "escaped" from being hanged. My teacher said, "Somebody must have spiked his cornflakes or something." I'm not sure where that ranks with what I've read in this topic, but I'll try to record more of the things he says during our discussions.

is that the one where this guy Farquart (sp?) falls off the bridge and remembers stories from his life and we don't realize he's dead till the end?

[Dori]

is that the one where this guy Farquart (sp?) falls off the bridge and remembers stories from his life and we don't realize he's dead till the end?

Yes, it is.

[Stanislaw]

math teacher in Gr 11 in reference to a new formula:
"now be weary of this one, its an odd little duck"

in gr 11 Chem while explaining how a bomb calorimeter works:
"now if we were to take Johns leg and break it off and stick it in here and blow it straight up..."
heh john was a student in the class it was quite funny at the time.

[Dori]

One day in chemistry some girl exclaimed, "this is gay!" My chem teacher responded, "I love doing gay things because they make me happy!"

My earth science teacher last year was well known for his mocking of Al Gore. "The dog peed in the house! It must be global warming!" Some more comments include "That's some gneiss schist," and something I've heard from several science teachers, "What are those? Hamburgers?" (when we forgot to label something).

[Lily Adams]

One day in chemistry some girl exclaimed, "this is gay!" My chem teacher responded, "I love doing gay things because they make me happy!"

I always say, "Is it a boy or a girl?" in response to that, (most people give me confused/angry looks) but that is much, much funnier.

[Lily Adams]

Posting in this thread all these times makes me look like a total teacher's pet, but...

My driver's ed teacher did one of the funniest things I've ever seen a teacher do. This is biology teacher level funny.

He was watching music videos when class started, and he turned it off so we could learn and all that and later when we left he turned the TV back on and it started playing the music video song "Barbie Girl" by Aqua. My friend and I were the last ones to leave the classroom, and as we were walking out it got to an "ah ah ah yeah" part and my teacher sang along to that part in a really high pitched voice. And this guy is a big old football coach. It was quite a sight.

And then I started thinking about how he and my biology teacher should team up and sing that song together. That would be an even FUNNIER sight to see.