A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum

[Niamh]

i've a funny thing to tell you all but because i've left it too late, and i'm too tired i promise i'll write it up tomorrow.

[Shalot]

The trend lately has been for girls to wear sweat pants or shorts that have cute little writing on the butt usually saying something like, princess, angel, hottie etc...

Well, I went to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is always full of oddballs and the later you go the more ghoulish they become. And there was a lady wearing a pair of pants that were supposed to say "hottie" on the butt. She was anything but a hottie, but that's not the funny part. The funny part was that according to her pants, she was a "hot tie" instead of a "hottie." One one cheek it said "hot" and on the other it said "tie" and there was a big gap between the letters and the whole thing was comical. She purchased her pants out of the irregular bin I guess. I don't know. Maybe it's not that funny. But it kind of was. To me at least.

[Riesa]

that is funny. this is the image I got:

Hot | Tie



Ugh, I had to go to Wal-Mart today too, some days are worse than others for Wal-Mart experiences, mine was just gross. I wanted to buy some turkey from the deli, (never a good idea at Wal-Mart) but I didn't want to have to stop at the grocery store so I went up to the counter and the deli-lady was coughing into her hands over and over, and there were about three or four people back there behind the counter, all NOT the people I want handling my sandwich meat. the coughing lady went over to the sink and started splashing water on her face.

needless to say I settled for the prepackaged stuff today. yuck yuck yuck.

i've a funny thing to tell you all but because i've left it too late, and i'm too tired i promise i'll write it up tomorrow.

Niamh...this was a month ago!!! what about your promise??!!!

[Niamh]

Oops! I've actually got two.

Okay so here it goes!

Daddy Shed, Mammy Shed, Baby Shed

About a month ago I arrived home after a late shift to the oddest scene. I walked into my house and proceeded into my living room to discover my parents, my older sister and one of her friends pauline sitting around my living room table. Whats odd about this you say? My sister NEVER sits in our house with my parents let alone with a friend. Immediately i know something was up. What startled me most was the worried expressions on their faces.
"Whats going on?" i asked them as i sat my bag down on the floor by the couch.
"What if they come back?" May mother queried with my sister. I stood there blankly looking form one to the other.
"What if who comes back? Whats happened?"
My sister looked at me and replied, "Theres been a bit of a funny but worrying incident." So my sister decided to fill me in with what had happened.
She had been sitting in her house next door with my niece when they heard someone standing at their front door talking on a mobile phone. She asked my niece who she thought it was or if she was expecting anyone. My niece told her no, but that the guy on the other side of the door sounded like a traveller.
" Ah here!" my sister snorted. "They better not be knocking here expecting us to buy carpet off them!" so she went to the door and pulled down the blind and shut the living room door.
For a few minutes everything was fine. Then all they could here was the sound of someone leaping over the back gate and into the back garden. Now my sister shares the same garden as my parents; her house having been built onto the side of ours. When she heard the sound of the Traveller jumping over the back gate she immediately ran into our house though the partition door that separated one kitchen from the other. She said all she was thinking was making sure our back door was closed.
Now all this while my mam is sitting in our living room watching tv, most likely corrie, completely oblivious to the fact that something was about to happen. As soon as my sister barges into the kitchen and goes straight to the back door, my mam is on her feet. She assumes that its started raining and Aileen has clothes on the line and goes to help. When she gets into the kitchen she finds Aileen not trying to open the back door, but making sure it was closed.
"Is everything alright?" she inquires as Aileen goes to the window and starts peeping out into the back.
"There's a Traveller in the back garden." she squeals. "Christ! He's after getting into the shed!"
"Which shed?" my mam asks.
"The one beside the sitting room window!"
My mam wanders into the sitting room and peers out the window. Its getting dark out at this stage, but there was still enough light for my mam to see what was going on out the back. She looks to the shed and all she can see is the Travellers fingers jutting out.
She gets herself into a panic and announces shes calling the Guards, which she does in a hurry and quickly tells them there is an intruder in our back garden.
She Puts down the Phone and tells my sister they'll be at the house soon.
Little did they realise there was already a squad car in the area, and they are knocking on our door in a matter of seconds.
My sister opens the door. Her jaw drops. There's not just one police car after pulling up out side the house but two. And to make the situation even more surreal, a special branch car turns up. A couple of Guardai are standing at the door and she letts them in. She explains to them what happened, and led them into the kitchen. My dad, who had been closed up in his den with his head phones on this whole time walks out of his room and into the kitchen with all the intentions of making himself a coffee. He looks on in amazement at the two guardai standing in his kitchen.
"He's in the shed." She tells them as she opens the back door. One of the Guardai looks out the back garden and see two sheds. One really big one which was full of junk from my dads hording days, with a wonky rotten door painted black that was standing open a jar, and a smaller regular wooden garden shed used to store the odd bike, a few pots of paint and lawn mower.
"Which shed?" he inquires as they step out into the back garden.
"That bleedin' shed!" She cries.
Both of the guards look to where she was pointing. She wasnt pointing at the two sheds that stood out against the cream painted, ivy covered back garden walls. No. She was pointing at a small, tiny little tool shed used to store a few small garden tools like the shears, trowels and weeding tools. You could almost discribe the shed as a small coal bunker.
The two guards walk over to the shed and lift the lid and find the Traveller cowering in the corner, scrunched up into a ball like a hedgehog. Aileen looks into the sitting room as they are hauling him out to see my mam inside talking to the other guards and the special branch. The two Guardai have the Traveller on his feet and start to bring him through the house and out to their car, where they then question him. The other police officers and the special branch head off as they arent really needed. Statements had been given by my mam and my sister at this stage. My dad is standing at the door with them, coffee in hand. The Guardai have the Traveller in the back of their car, one of them sitting in the car with him while the other is walking up the driveway toewards the frontdoor. Naturally the whole street is out curious to know whats going on.
With an amused grin on his face the guard turns to them and asks, "Do you know Mr Joyce?"
"Wha'? Him?" Aileen snorts.
"He says he knows you and that he came to visit." The Officer informs them.
Aileen, whos a fairly loudmouthed individual starts to cackle. "Wha'..! He came to visit me bleedin' shed then!"
The Guard chuckles and states that they are going to bring him down to the station, and heads on his way.
An hour later the door bell rings. My mam gets up off the couch, where she'd finally gotten comfortable again and goes to answer the door. Standing on the other side are two Travellers. They'd come on behalf of their brother to apologise.
"He didnt mean te disturb yeh." One of them states. "An' now he's te go te court in the mar'nin."
"I know nothing about him going to the courts in the morning. Thats got nothing to do with me. I havent said i was pressing charges. He shouldnt have been in my back garden." My mam informs them.
"But he wasn' up to an'in. He was just hidin is all. If he'd gone out to the road the Guards would have caught him."
And so the penny drops. The reason why the guards had been so wuick to get to the house was because they were already looking for someone. The Traveller who happened to be in our shed.
I couldnt believe what had happened. My mother was worried that the brothers might come back, or cause us some bother. Aileen was wondering should she get her locks changed, my dad was drinking coffee and Aileens friend pauline was laughing about it, telling them not to worry, nothing would come of it, and she knew from experience. Her husband is in the Joy.
All the while, after hearing the story, i was thinking one thing. He had three sheds to choose from. A big one, a middle size one and a small one. He choose the small one. Maybe it was just right?!

[Nightshade]

Whats the Joy?

[Niamh]

mountjoy prison in Dublin. you can tell if someones been in the Joy because they generally end up getting a blue dove tattoo.
And for anyone whos not sure what i mean by a Traveller, they are tinkers.

[Shalot]

Well, I fell down in public. It was the most bizarre thing. I was stepping off the curb but I was walking too fast and I am not sure how it happened exactly but my foot sort of twisted and I fell forward on my knees and scraped them on the concrete. And I caught myself with my hand so my palm is scraped up too. I have not felt that sensation since elementary school. I had skinned knees all the time, but I forgot how much it hurt.

Anyway, it hurt a lot, but it was really funny because it happened so fast and I'm sure it looked totally absurd. I don't know why seeing someone fall is funny but it just is and my husband wasn't sure if i was laughing or crying so he didn't know how to react, but when he figured out I was laughing he busts up too. Now we're 1 for 1. He fell at the store once. Everybody falls. The important thing is that I didn't spill my iced tea.

[crazefest456]

I'm sort of confused about what happened to me today...
So I was at an electronics store, and was getting something to drink from the cafe there. It was somewhat cold outside but it was fine inside, so I decided to get a coffee shake, just because I knew my brother has a hard time drinking hot coffee because he has sensitive teeth. So I asked the man for one, and he asked me to repeat it again, and so I did. I thought I wasn't speaking it right for him. So he repeated what I ordered, and I confirmed it with a yes. And then he went in the back and got the supplies, and came back to the front. He suddenly stopped and told me "you know, the coffee granita is cold" and I said "good"...I finally understood that he was trying to point out that it's weird to be drinking something cold in cold weather. Then his coworker came up and started talking, and he just commented, "yeah, she's ordering a coffee granita", and the lady replied the same thing-- all I could hear them say is coffee granita.
I thought I was going cuckoo..I mean, I was just paranoid after I stepped out of the cafe; i felt like everyone was staring at me and my shake, as if I released some biohazardous material into the store (not really)...I'm still lost, I really don't know what's wrong with buying something cold.

[Niamh]

Well, I fell down in public. It was the most bizarre thing. I was stepping off the curb but I was walking too fast and I am not sure how it happened exactly but my foot sort of twisted and I fell forward on my knees and scraped them on the concrete. And I caught myself with my hand so my palm is scraped up too. I have not felt that sensation since elementary school. I had skinned knees all the time, but I forgot how much it hurt.

Anyway, it hurt a lot, but it was really funny because it happened so fast and I'm sure it looked totally absurd. I don't know why seeing someone fall is funny but it just is and my husband wasn't sure if i was laughing or crying so he didn't know how to react, but when he figured out I was laughing he busts up too. Now we're 1 for 1. He fell at the store once. Everybody falls. The important thing is that I didn't spill my iced tea.

That reminds me of the time i fell up the stairs in work in front of loads of passengers. I was so embarressed i just dashed up the stairs but in the end i did get far from the stairs as it appeared i was suddenly going in slow motion. Sprained my ankle. Even more unfortunate was that by the time i just couldnt move/ walk anymore and i was crying my eyes out, i was in the middle of a thoroughfare and all the passengers going down to the pier had to pass me.

I'm sort of confused about what happened to me today...
So I was at an electronics store, and was getting something to drink from the cafe there. It was somewhat cold outside but it was fine inside, so I decided to get a coffee shake, just because I knew my brother has a hard time drinking hot coffee because he has sensitive teeth. So I asked the man for one, and he asked me to repeat it again, and so I did. I thought I wasn't speaking it right for him. So he repeated what I ordered, and I confirmed it with a yes. And then he went in the back and got the supplies, and came back to the front. He suddenly stopped and told me "you know, the coffee granita is cold" and I said "good"...I finally understood that he was trying to point out that it's weird to be drinking something cold in cold weather. Then his coworker came up and started talking, and he just commented, "yeah, she's ordering a coffee granita", and the lady replied the same thing-- all I could hear them say is coffee granita.
I thought I was going cuckoo..I mean, I was just paranoid after I stepped out of the cafe; i felt like everyone was staring at me and my shake, as if I released some biohazardous material into the store (not really)...I'm still lost, I really don't know what's wrong with buying something cold.

Nobody complains when people buy hot drinks on hot days. its only a cold drink. Its not like you asked for an icecream.

[Niamh]

It was such and odd day today. Was in our main shop in the duty free area and this guy from Israel pops up at the till and starts asking us if we had big skittles. Now the guy was very overly excited by skittles, had even explained how had become addicted to them during the three months he was i Ireland and that he couldnt get them in Israel. Now he did confuse us at first by asking for big skittles. "Not the little skittles, but the big ones! " Then myself and the other four girls in the shop realised he was on about big bags of skittles. Unfortunately we only had the small bags. He got very distraught, so i ended up having to ring another shop to see if they had them. He got very excited when one of the girls from B came into the shop with a few big bags and ended up purchasing three! It was just surreal! I'd never seen anyone get that excited over a sweet before. Had to share it with you guys!

[Pensive]

Yes, I am afficted to sweets too. Especially Skittles, Mentoes (not sure about the spellings but I really love two of its flavours; mostly pink and then yellow). Oh and I love chocolates. Bounty, Snickers and Mars being my favourite. Dairy Milk chocolate is good too.

Life must be very difficult for me without any of these I guess.

[papayahed]

This morning I had to go to a training class at a state park in a pretty rural area. So here we are driving down a two lane road and we had to stop because there were chickens crossing the road. I rolled down the window and asked them "why?" True Story (up until I rolled down the window).

[Niamh]

oh but you should have Papaya!

[Bakiryu]

This was just dumb.
There were these two guys screaming obscenities at each other (but in a friendly way) 'til one guy says "You motherf-er!" the other guy looks at him all serious, and then says "Don't worry, I'm adopted!" and begins laughing.

it was very amusing.

[Niamh]

On monday i was working on the late shift, and seeing as my local bus service to santry is crap, i as usual headed to the station to get the DART. Everything was fine, felt like a normal day. Got off the DART at Connelly station and went to head for the bus station to get the airport express. Outside the Train station there are Outdoor escelators with a plastic cover over it to keep it dry from the rain. Yeah right! Stepped onto it and slipped down a step. I managed to grab the rail before fell on my arse, but still managed to wallop my right arm and leg. Lets just say i was completely mortified, quickly hopped up and got off as soon as i could. Got to the bus station and managed to get on a Airlink bus before it pulled off. Everything fine. Get to Airport and i stood up to make my way to the stairs to get to the lower deck of the bust to get off, bus jerks sideways, i fall into a seat area and bang my right leg (again) of the seat.
Lets just say i'm still nursing a sore arm, and a stiff leg that keeps cramping.