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Thread: Form Poem Contest

  1. #181
    Congrats Il Penseroso, your poems are always a treat for my eyes .
    .
    ...the smell of flowers through metal labyrinths.

  2. #182
    seasonably mediocre Il Penseroso's Avatar
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    Well I suppose lunch break will do.

    Thanks symphony, I appreciate it.


    So, in an effort at something that is accessible to various poetic temperaments I'm going to make this a bit open-ended. Your task is to write a poem with each stanza fitting the tanka syllable count. I won't put a limit on how long or short the poems should be, but I will expect them to adequately explore whichever theme you as poet choose, completely and originally.

    Hopefully this will spur more interest in that thread, and provide a fun challenge for the contest.


    Each stanza will consist of five lines, each containing 5-7-5-7-7 syllables respectively. If you have further questions you can pm me or check the first page to the Tanka thread for clarification.

    I know it's a little repetitive to do another poem with a strict syllable count but you'll have to bear with me, I'm not real familiar with many forms, nor am I any good with most of them. So I hope this will be accessible enough for many interesting entries.


    I'll make the deadline September 1st, and should have them judged by the 2nd, though no guarantee. I'll do my best.

    And most of all, have fun!!
    Last edited by Il Penseroso; 08-11-2007 at 12:37 PM. Reason: can't forget the deadline
    and somehow a dog
    has taken itself & its tail considerably away
    into the mountains or sea or sky, leaving
    behind: me, wag.
    - John Berryman

  3. #183
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    Nice going, IP. Tanka, eh? Maybe I'll wait a couple days on this one...

    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  4. #184
    in angulo cum libro Petrarch's Love's Avatar
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    Congratulations Il Penseroso, a well deserved win. I've never written a Tanka, so this should be fun.

    "In rime sparse il suono/ di quei sospiri ond' io nudriva 'l core/ in sul mio primo giovenile errore"~ Francesco Petrarca
    "Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can."~ Jane Austen

  5. #185
    Not politically correct Pendragon's Avatar
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    Exclamation

    Well, I guess I start. Sometimes I get lucky...

    Poets want comments—
    Empty emotion to parchment,
    The quill laps up spill—
    Turning angst into verses,
    Reader beware of my heart…

    Pendragon
    © 8/13/07

    A true Tanka doesn’t require a title…
    Some of us laugh
    Some of us cry
    Some of us smoke
    Some of us lie
    But it's all just the way
    that we cope with our lives...

  6. #186
    Internal nebulae TheFifthElement's Avatar
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    Can I join in?

    In honour of the Japanese theme:



    Pale as moon shadow
    shrouded in cherry blossom
    the Geisha dances.
    She holds men’s hearts in her palm,
    desire pricks her bloodied lips.

    Creating whirlwinds
    she swirls, a force of nature
    mesmerising eyes;
    each movement carefully planned,
    perfectly executed.

    She is mystery,
    a symbol of forgotten
    times when beauty reigned.
    Shrouded in cherry blossom
    the Geisha dances for you.
    Want to know what I think about books? Check out https://biisbooks.wordpress.com/

  7. #187
    seasonably mediocre Il Penseroso's Avatar
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    Welcome fifthelement and thanks Pen for getting the conest started. Two wonderful submissions so far. Keep 'em coming!
    and somehow a dog
    has taken itself & its tail considerably away
    into the mountains or sea or sky, leaving
    behind: me, wag.
    - John Berryman

  8. #188
    Flying against the wind CdnReader's Avatar
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    .

    Interlude

    Quietly I slip
    past the consciousness of thought,
    letting the sounds pull
    me past the threshold of the
    real world of worries and fear.

    Tired eyes closed, I drift...
    following the music's smile.
    I float on the notes...
    dance, sway, dream, explore a path
    that leads me away from here.

    A delicate touch
    plays such simple melodies,
    yet the depth of the
    arrangement resonates in
    smooth waves of tranquility.

    The soft jazzy tones
    play in concert with my heart,
    skillfully building
    to a gentle peacefulness...
    an exquisite elegance.

    For of what purpose
    is life if not to welcome
    simple moments of
    beauty, pleasure - nay, rapture...
    Let time come to a full stop.

    Only then can I
    feel the wingtips of the dove
    brush against my skin,
    hear the songs of truthfulness...
    breathe the symphony of life.

    .
    cdn/21aug07
    .
    *

    "Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear." -- Ambrose Redmoon

    CR: Madame Bovary, by Gustave Flaubert
    JF: Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. My review is here.

  9. #189
    Something's gotta give PrinceMyshkin's Avatar
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    I don't recognize the particular form you're working in (just as well because I'm something of an ignoramus re the poetic forms and usually just pretend they aren't there) but I especially liked

    Quote Originally Posted by CdnReader View Post
    .
    Only then can I
    feel the wingtips of the dove
    brush against my skin,
    hear the songs of truthfulness...
    breathe the symphony of life.

    .
    cdn/21aug07
    .
    Thanks!

  10. #190
    Registered User quasimodo1's Avatar
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    To CdnReader: You have my vote in this contest, but perhaps replace one word...nay...I think you have to be born before 1923 to use this connector. quasimodo1

  11. #191
    seasonably mediocre Il Penseroso's Avatar
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    cdn,
    very nice poem, skillful handling of the form

    Prince,
    the form is supposed to be verses of tanka, with 5-7-5-7-7 syllables to each line respectively.


    Just over a week left, so get writing!
    and somehow a dog
    has taken itself & its tail considerably away
    into the mountains or sea or sky, leaving
    behind: me, wag.
    - John Berryman

  12. #192
    wanderer autolycus's Avatar
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    silicon made me

    silicon made me:
    i have the high and the low
    and nothing between;
    i am learning poetry,
    poetry is learning me.

    haiku is simple,
    as in not complex for me:
    i am rational;
    i can extrapolate it
    and add fourteen syllables.

    sonnets are easy:
    trippingly upon the tongue,
    they soar foreshortened;
    and look, organic user,
    a parallel abuser.

    i have tested them:
    my algorithms are fine,
    neither coarse nor crude;
    let us try the higher art,
    let us type, "Keats," and then start.

    here is a node to
    autumn: seasonal myths and
    fellow moodfulness;
    this is too easy i think
    try something harder to score.

    i am the very
    model of a modern mage,
    a general, i...
    can make this work can make this
    i have FAILED this ART is WORK

    silicon made me:
    i have the high and the low
    and nothing between;
    i am learning poetry,
    poetry is learning me.
    se non e vero, e molto ben'trovato

  13. #193
    Internal nebulae TheFifthElement's Avatar
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    ^^^^^^^
    autolycus - that's just great! Really love your poem.

    There's a little typo (I think!) in your 5th verse 'here is a node to' or 'here is an ode to'?

    I love this:

    i am learning poetry,
    poetry is learning me.
    Want to know what I think about books? Check out https://biisbooks.wordpress.com/

  14. #194
    wanderer autolycus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheFifthElement View Post
    ^^^^^^^
    autolycus - that's just great! Really love your poem.

    There's a little typo (I think!) in your 5th verse 'here is a node to' or 'here is an ode to'?

    I love this:
    Thank you very much... and, no there is no typo. It's the computer screwing up in the parsing algorithm.
    se non e vero, e molto ben'trovato

  15. #195
    Internal nebulae TheFifthElement's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by autolycus View Post
    Thank you very much... and, no there is no typo. It's the computer screwing up in the parsing algorithm.
    I see, it's all clear now, and more clever for it! Thank you for clarifying.
    Want to know what I think about books? Check out https://biisbooks.wordpress.com/

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